


Lockwood Part 5

by Jadders92



Series: Lockwood [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Animagus, Aurors, Choices, Curses, Death, Death Eaters, Elder Wand (Harry Potter), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family, Family Secrets, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Gryffindor, Healers, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Forbidden Forest, Home, Horcruxes, Hufflepuff, Hungarian Horntails, Hurt, Isle of Skye, Lies, Love, Ministry of Magic (Harry Potter), Potions, Ravenclaw, Scotland, Secrets, Slytherin, The Great Lake | The Black Lake (Harry Potter), The Sorting Hat, Triwizard Tournament, Wandless Magic, Wandlore (Harry Potter), Werewolf Bites, Werewolves, Wolf Pack, Wolfsbane, World Cup, dragon - Freeform, england quidditch team
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2020-01-26
Packaged: 2020-08-13 01:55:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 88,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20166220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadders92/pseuds/Jadders92
Summary: Here we go again, picking up from Part 4 where things were left in a less than okay state. Angelina has saved Harry from a fully transformed werewolf... but at what cost?Remus just wants to make things right, Angelina just wants to survive. Both seem such far off dreams of grandeur.Can they get over the heartbreak and make things right again? Or is everything about to get so much worse? With the Second Wizarding War about to begin, the fight for life has never been more crucial.Catch me over on tumblr: Jadders92Email me: jadders92@hotmail.com





	1. The Truth Of Where We Are

**Author's Note:**

> Cannot wait for you guys to see how this story is developing! As always, leave comments, a kudos is a lovely thing and I look forward to sharing the rest of the adventure with you all.
> 
> Love Jadders92 xx

Remus had made up his mind, no one, not even Dumbledore would convince him otherwise this time. Though the Headmaster didn’t even attempt to and soon Remus realised why. His secret was out.

He’d known Severus to be an angry and spiteful man, he never thought him to be as cynical as to reveal Remus’s secret to the whole school. The owls had probably already begun to arrive, parents outraged that he was anywhere near their children, the absolute panic that their children had somehow become infected. Remus knew that some would at least respect him for resigning before he was forced out, but most would probably hate him. Possibly some of his ex-students from years gone by would feel just as outraged.

Remus was struggling to move around his office, feeling aches and pains he’d not felt for nearly ten years, not since Angelina invented a refined and more effective version of the Wolfsbane potion. He forgot how torturous it was on the body and even more so on the mind, all of which would be ahead of Angelina now that he had committed the most evil of crimes against her. He hadn’t been sure at first, but the images kept flashing in the front of his mind, her body falling from the tree and his strong jaw snapping around her shoulder and neck, the neck he used to kiss, the shoulder he used to hold, the skin he used to worship with everything he was.

Angelina had every right to never speak with him ever again, but now that she was his only chance at redemption, he had to try to make peace. His heart began to speed up seeing her name drifting outside of his classroom, but it stopped there, she was having second thoughts. Harry soon appeared next to her and the two of them stayed there for a while. 

Remus wanted to go downstairs and find out what they were talking about, he wanted to apologise to Angelina, no… no he didn’t. What Remus really wanted to do, more than anything in the world, was to bring her into his arms, kiss her with everything he had and worship everything about her until she found it in herself to forgive him. But he wouldn’t, not because he was worried that someone would see him, not because he barely had the energy to pack his things, if he had to he’d drink every potion going to find the energy, no he would never go down those stairs, because he knew the absolute truth of where they were. Remus walked away because he was angry; Angelina walked away because he destroyed her.

He watched her name make it’s way out of Hogwarts and towards the gates, he couldn’t watch it disappear, he couldn’t take that pain again, so he walked away from the map and continued packing. How could he think that his life wouldn’t come to an end? How could he think that he could grow old with anyone, let alone Angelina Lockwood? She was beautiful and smart and kind and brave and a hero, she was more than anyone deserved. He never stood a chance.

Remus heard Harry’s footsteps as he came up the stairs to his office, he put on a brave face for him. ‘Hello Harry.’ He said and placed a few of his books into his case. ‘I saw you coming.’ Remus gestured to the map. ‘Everything alright?’

‘No. You’re leaving.’ Harry said miserably. He remembered when Harry was just a boy, an innocent life, completely unaware of the future that lay ahead of him, unaware of pain or unhappiness or loss or guilt or anything that he was now becoming aware of. He’d been through so much in the last three years and Remus knew what was in store next years, the only saving grace was that the Triwizard Tournament would have an age limit like last time. 

‘Yes, Harry.’ Remus sighed. ‘It’s best for everyone that I leave before Dumbledore is put under any more pressure concerning my condition.’

‘But you’ve taught here for years and nothing has ever-‘

‘And that is exactly why I need to leave now.’ Remus interrupted him before Harry could finish the sentence with something Remus would find difficult to defend. ‘I’m sure if you talk to your parents, they will say the same thing…’ Remus sighed and leaned on his desk. ‘Harry, I want you to understand something about last night. I want you to tell me you know how lucky you were to escape with your life, I want you to understand that Angelina had no right to be there and no reason to do what she did beyond it being the right thing to do. Tell me you understand.’

‘I understand.’ Harry nodded, still looking miserable. ‘None of it made a difference though, Pettigrew escaped.’

‘Harry, it made all the difference in the world,’ Remus implored. ‘You uncovered the truth and saved an innocent man from a terrible fate. It made a great deal of difference and for that I am grateful.’ 

Remus took a breath and continued packing his desk. He came to the picture frame on his desk, Angelina. It seemed to be a great effort to hide her face within his case, but he needed to leave quickly. 

‘She said no one important got hurt last night.’ Harry told him and it made Remus’s heart sink, to the extent that he leaned on the desk again, his shaky and tired arms the only thing hold him upright. ‘But she got hurt… did you…?’ Harry couldn’t finish the sentence and Remus was so grateful that he didn’t.

‘I don’t know.’ Remus lied. ‘Only Angelina knows the truth of how she got hurt, but I’m sure she would still be in the hospital wing if it was serious.’ Remus almost believed it himself.

‘Did you tell her about the cottage?’ Harry really didn’t seem to realise the pain he was causing Remus, but then Remus never did let it be known how much pain he was ever in.

‘No, I didn’t.’ Remus suddenly frowned. ‘How do you about the cottage?’

‘I heard mum and dad talking about it last summer before she came back.’ Harry shrugged.

‘Well, perhaps its best I didn’t say anything and cause her anymore pain than I already have done.’ Remus put the conversation to bed. ‘Why don’t you get some breakfast Harry, you’re still looking a little pale.’

He knew Harry could tell he just wanted to be alone, but he didn’t seem to mind too much and went to leave Remus’s office.

‘Oh, I almost forgot, Angie had a message for you.’ Remus’s eyes snapped up to Harry’s, eager to hear anything that came from Angelina. ‘She said you can give her things to David and that she wouldn’t be coming back for them.’ Remus’s heart deflated once again. 

‘Right.’ Remus nodded. ‘Thank you, Harry. I’m sure I’ll see you again soon.’ 

Harry soon left Remus to finish packing, he knew what he needed to do, he knew that he needed to return the prophecy himself and at least try.

David had caught up with me as I was leaving Hogwarts, he was concerned, but having already heard what happened, he just wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to do anything rash or impulsive. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, I just knew that I needed to sleep and figure out what was going to happen. I could see it on his face, the worry and the sadness washing into one expression. 

I didn’t know what else to tell him so I simply apparated back home. Luckily my father hadn’t left for work yet and was able to help me, but the second I began to tell him what happened, I broke. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry for a while, he kept telling me that everything would be okay, but I knew he was only saying it because he didn’t know what else he could say. 

He had a look at the wound and agreed with Pomfrey’s assessment. It was healing at an abnormal rate and truthfully, my father was unsure of how to fix it.

‘Honestly, Angie, you should be unconscious and in a lot more physical pain right now.’ He said, adjusting the fresh bandages he’d placed over the bite. ‘Are you absolutely sure that…?’

‘What? That he bit me? Dad you can see the marks.’

‘Alright Angie!’ My father snapped and sat down next to my bed. ‘I’m just trying to help you, but this isn’t a normal case and without Remus here to tell us his side of things, I really don’t know-‘

‘What do you mean “his side of things”?’ I was letting my anger get the best of me now and I really didn’t want to. ‘Dad, he wouldn’t remember even if he was here! He bit me! What more do you need to know?’

‘Perhaps, if you care to think a little about this, we could find out if he’s been keeping up with Silvermint Tea routine! Perhaps, if you weren’t so blinded, we could find out if he’d used the anti-flaring balm recently!’ He took a deep calming breath, before continuing. ‘Now I understand that you’re still upset over what happened, I understand that you must be feeling an array of emotions right now and that given what you went through, you’re probably exhausted. But, can you try to see that I am trying to think a little outside the box here and figure out if my only daughter has become a werewolf?’ I felt my eyes widen a little. ‘Yes… yes, there is still a question here, Angie.’ My father sighed. ‘As far as I can see, you know more about lycanthropy than anyone, you are not at risk of transformation or any other trauma at this moment in time, you don’t seem abnormally worn or tired or exhibit any other early sign of infection, so we need to draw a new conclusion about what happened last night.’ 

My father was right, my mind was so scattered and broken that I couldn’t think straight, he was doing his best to help, but we both knew that this was something I needed to think on for a while.


	2. Let Me Help You

It had been almost a week since Remus left the school and he’d heard from David that the owls had been coming in daily, with parents a little more than outraged. However, he could take comfort in many ex-students and a few parents here and there writing in support and inquiring as to how they managed his condition for so long. 

Remus didn’t take that much comfort in the letters, the only one he cared about was the one he’d written Angelina the second he made it to his father’s home.

Angelina,

There’s nothing I can put into a letter that would mean anything. You told Harry that no one important got hurt last night. You got hurt. You are important. 

I have something that belongs to you, please let me give it to you in person, if you really don’t want to talk to me, then I will respect your wishes and allow David to collect it for you. But please, just let me see you again, let me talk to you and try to help.

Yours always

Remus

She hadn’t replied, Remus was sure that she’d seen the letter, but simply chose not to respond. He understood and he tried to have patience, but even his father could tell it was wearing thin. 

‘Why don’t you just go and see her?’ He’d asked one morning when Remus was up early, making breakfast for the both of them, aware that his father struggled more and more these days. 

‘We’ve been over this,’ Remus sighed. ‘I hurt her and now she doesn’t want to see me. I can’t risk upsetting her again.’

‘Remus-‘

‘Have some tea, breakfast will be ready in a moment.’ Remus stopped the same conversation happening over and over again. He just couldn’t keep doing it. He went over to the back door to collect his father’s post and caught sight of an owl he recognised. ‘Ruben?’ He frowned, the large barn owl hooted happily, but looked like he’d had a long flight. Remus brought him inside and gave him a little water and some food. 

Remus,

While I cannot express the pain I feel at what you have done to my daughter, I cannot set aside her needs to serve my own wants. If it were up to me, I would ask that you have nothing more to do with her, but it’s not. Angie’s condition is getting worse and I believe you are the only person who can help her get through this.

She has not left her lab for the last five days, she hasn’t responded to anyone’s letters and despite my best efforts she has not given anymore thought to her injury. Please come to the house as soon as you are able and help my daughter see reason.

Anna

Remus took a deep breath before smelling the burning of the eggs he’d been cooking. He was visiting the Potter’s that afternoon, if anyone could give him advice on what to do, it was Lily and James. Harry was over at Ron’s for a few days.

‘You bit her!’ James exclaimed, Lily had a look that said she may have already known. ‘What were you thinking?!’

‘James, I wasn’t in control,’ Remus was surprisingly quick to anger. ‘It was an accident.’

‘I heard she lured you away?’ Lily was much the calmer of the three of them. ‘I assumed Harry was exaggerating.’

‘Like I told him, only Angelina knows the truth of what happened,’ Remus took a breath and ran his hands through his messy hair, he hadn’t even bothered to shave for the last week. ‘And it’s not as if we’re on the best terms right now.’

There was a heavy silence that ran through the Potter’s kitchen, James leaned against the sink, staring out at the garden, while Lily sat in her usual seat opposite Remus, watching him sip his tea miserably.

‘She was right.’ Lily finally spoke. ‘James, she was right about Sirius.’

‘I know.’

‘Wait, did Angelina come here?’ Remus suddenly looked up, eager to know anything. ‘When? What did she say?’

They gave each other a sideways glance before Lily answered. ‘Last year, just after Harry went back to school, she came to the house and asked if we could help her convince you that she didn’t have anything to do with Sirius’s escape and that he was innocent.’

‘Is that it? Did she say anything else?’

‘No, I asked her to leave after that.’ James shook his head, clearly feeling guilty about the whole thing. ‘It sounds like she needs you Remus. You should go over to the house.’

‘And say what? Sorry, I made you into a monster? Sorry I ruined your life and gave you no hope of a future.’ Remus was struggling to hold onto his emotions and rubbed his temples hard. ‘That was the one thing I kept promising her, a future… any future.’ He let his head drop into his arms on the table and sobbed until Lily wrapped her arms around him and held him while he sobbed. 

Remus didn’t stay much longer after that, he went home to his father and pretended like he didn’t cry his heart out to his friends. He tried so hard to be okay for his father, knowing that he loved Angelina and would hate to know how Remus really hurt her. 

I was getting progressively more annoyed with my sling, it was getting in the way and any time I tried to ignore it and pretend that everything was okay, I would somehow reinjure myself and my father would have to reapply my bandages. I didn’t want to admit how scared I was, the full moon was edging closer every day and I still didn’t know what was going to happen.

I missed Remus. I should have replied to his letter, said something, but I couldn’t work out what and anytime I tried to think about what I wanted to say, I would end up back in bed, crying.

My mother came up to my lab everyday to ask what I’d been up to that day, she went through the same routine, she set down a cup of tea, a sandwich and a chocolate frog, knowing that it would take me three hours to finish eating because I was focussing on an experiment. She would ask me if I was hungry for anything more than a sandwich, I would say no, she would ask if there was anything I wanted to talk about, I would say no, and then she would ask if I’d heard from Remus and I would say nothing. Everyday.

I wanted the answers to change, I wanted to tell her something, I wanted to change something about the routine, but nothing came to me. After a while, I couldn’t even tell her what I was experimenting on, I just didn’t know anymore. 

It was a week before the full moon when I realised that I was just staring at my Puffapods, aware that I hadn’t actually done anything to them, they were just sitting at the bottom of the water tank, waiting to come into contact with something and sprout.

‘Sweetheart,’ my mother called from the door, she was home earlier than usual. I pretended not to hear her and tried to focus my eyes on the nearest open book. ‘I’ve brought you some tea.’ She said and came into view around my desk. I’d had my feet up and she needed to manoeuvre a few notebooks to set the teacup down. ‘Bad day?’ She asked. I didn’t bother answering, I was wearing Remus’s old t-shirt and she knew I only wore it when I woke up feeling especially bad. ‘Right, well, will you take a shower for me? It might help you feel a bit fresher.’

Taking a shower was a bigger ask than she knew, my arm was still in a sling from where I’d reopened the wounds and it just felt easier to tie my hair up and pretend it was clean. Remus’s old, grey t-shirt was soft from where I’d slept in it so many times and my black joggers just seemed so easy to reach in the mornings.

I decided that my mother was probably right, four days without a shower was probably verging on excessive and maybe it would make me feel better. It took me a full half hour just to wash my hair, with the use of only one arm, I wished I had David with me again to help me get through, but I could find the will to talk to anyone anymore. Even Darren was busy with the Quidditch World Cup, which I really only had energy to listen to on the radio. 

I eventually got back into my clothes and returned to my position in front of my water tank. The tea was cold and again, I was unsure of what I was staring at, the Puffapods wouldn’t do anything unless I did something to them, the book I was reading was one I’d already skimmed through and yet I didn’t recognise any of the words. Before I knew it, my shoulder was aching again and I began making a pain relief for when it started to get really bad, but even that seemed to take much more effort than I realised.

‘Sweetheart,’ my mother said from the door, I’d been standing on a desk in the corner of my lab, reaching a book I’d not needed for years. I could feel the warmth of her love penetrating my being and for a moment, things felt a little clearer. ‘Did the shower help?’

‘Yeah, it was great,’ I threw the statement away, realising what it was that I really needed. ‘Have you seen my Dittany? I’m sure I had a jar of it around here somewhere.’ I jumped down from the desk and began looking through my cupboards of ingredients. The jump had sent a small shockwave through my body and the pain began radiating in my shoulder again.

‘No, I’ve not seen it,’ I could hear her smiling behind me. ‘I’ll go and make you some more tea. Are you hungry?’

I didn’t answer and listened to the sounds of her leaving… so why could I still feel her love? Why was it still so strong and warm? I continued searching for the Dittany, occasionally sending a jar of something else towards my work bench to prepare the pain relief. My shoulder felt like it was burning, my knees felt like they were aching, my head was pounding, it was like I was suddenly able to feel everything about my body, like everything was so much clearer.

‘Is this it?’ That voice stopped me in my tracks, the exhaustion, the warmth, the love that penetrated everything about me. Remus. I turned around to see him standing just inside my lab, looking especially casual in his untucked, dark green shirt and green-grey trousers. His slightly scarred forearms were on show from where he’d rolled his sleeves up, but it was the layer of hair on his jaw that held my attention for a little longer. His hair was a little messy, but he’d opted to allow his beard to grow just a little more, it was patchy, but I remembered loving the feel of it against my skin. 

We just watched each other for a moment, I didn’t know what to do or what to say, but I was aware of the effect his presence was having on me, every part of my body was making itself known, the aches, the pains, the weakness from the ridiculous diet, the exhaustion from dodgy sleeping patterns. I was suddenly very aware that tears were streaming fast down my face, but I had no energy to do anything else. 

Remus was holding the jar of Dittany and I tried to refocus. ‘Yes.’ I breathed and slowly he nodded, placing it down next to the rest of the ingredients. 

I did my best to ignore the fact that he was standing in my lab and get on with making the pain relief, but it seemed he wasn’t going to allow me to do that.

‘Angelina,’ he wanted to take a step forward, I could feel it. ‘Are you alright?’

It was a stupid question, we both knew that. I just began cutting up the Dittany to make it easier to grind down.

‘Your mother tells me you’ve reopened the wound a few times,’ he tried again, but I just couldn’t talk about it. ‘But that there may be a question over whether you… have the condition… or not?’

I stopped what I was doing, dropping the knife and leaning over my workbench, trying hard to just breathe calmly. Why was he doing this to me? Why was he even here?

‘Angelina-‘ Remus took half a step towards me.

‘Given my reaction to the bite,’ I started and hoped that if I just continued my work while I spoke, I could ignore enough of him to speak. ‘The fact that I left the hospital wing the morning after with the wound healing reasonably well, my family’s history in the creation of werewolves, there is a chance that I will not…’ I really couldn’t finish the sentence, his relief was distracting me. ‘But the wound itself hasn’t healed completely, there’s still an abnormal amount of pain and nothing seems to alleviate that for-‘ I stopped and dropped my knife again. ‘You know, I actually don’t know! I don’t know what’s going to happen when the moon comes up! I don’t know if anything will happen and I don’t why you’re here!’

Remus took a moment to think. ‘I’m here because I need to be.’ He chose the words carefully enough that I let him continue for a while. ‘I’m here because I hurt you, not only did I hurt you, but I may have ruined any chance you might have had at a normal, happy life… Angelina, I’m here because the last year of my life has been unbearably painful and I realise now, possibly too late, that it was because I didn’t have you.’ He swallowed nervously. ‘I don’t expect you to accept any apology that I make, I fully expect to have to work hard to gain your trust again and I know that you think I don’t deserve another chance… but if I don’t at least try, then I can’t ever say that I did everything I could and I will regret that for the rest of my life.’

I couldn’t breathe, for a long and painful moment, I simply couldn’t breathe. Those warm blue eyes were searching mine for an answer I didn’t have. If I hadn’t been so angry, I might have just fallen into his arms and let him kiss me until the sun came up, but that just wasn’t an option. I never wanted anyone to see me like that again, I couldn’t let anyone touch my body again.

I took a deep breath and tore my eyes away, what did he expect me to say? I needed to finish the potion as my shoulder was getting worse and soon that pain was taking over the pain of Remus simply standing in front of me. 

I spent nearly an hour in silence, trying to think of what I could say that would be acceptable, but nothing came to me. Remus allowed me the space to think and simply sat in the corner of my lab, waiting.

‘You were supposed to believe me.’ I suddenly said, I wasn’t even sure if I was in control of what came out of my mouth. Remus looked up, eagerly listening for me to say anything else. ‘I understand that you felt a certain way about Sirius, but you were supposed to believe me, if not believe me, you were supposed to give me a chance to prove it.’ I lowered the heat of the potion and grabbed my wand to pour it into a goblet. ‘You told me once that love is the most powerful force in this world… and at that moment, my love wasn’t enough for you.’ 

I stopped pouring the potion and began losing control of my tears. Remus stood up, instinctively wanting to help, but stopped unsure if that was what I wanted. Truthfully, I didn’t know what I wanted at that moment.

‘You’re right.’ It was only then that I realised Remus was crying heavily as well. ‘Angelina, you’re right, at that moment I was angry and upset and overwhelmed by you returning the way you did, but none of that is an excuse… I let you down. I let you down at the moment you needed me the most and I am so sorry. I’m sorry!’ Remus sat back down and held his head in his hands. ‘I’m so sorry for everything!’ He sobbed and I couldn’t help but let myself sob quietly as well. 

I wanted to comfort him, I could feel his pain, it radiated around his entire being and I couldn’t stand it. I wanted to go back to the days when I would visit him at the castle, we’d go to dinner and laugh about things that didn’t matter, we’d flirt and talk until we were exhausted, we’d spend the nights loving each other, whispering things to make the other laugh and not have to think about how much it truly mattered. 

Remus sobbed heavily and I knew that if I did nothing, then there was no chance of anything being repaired. I tried to take a deep breath and slowly walked over to him. I felt the weight of his pain and his love washing into each other, like two opposing forces clashing together. 

I stood in front of him, just feeling his presence, before allowing myself to do what we both needed. I slid my free hand into his soft hair and gently pulled him against me. His head rested against my stomach and his hands held onto my waist, his beautifully slender, strong hands that fit around me so well. I missed his hands, I missed the way they made me feel, I missed the safety and the comfort and delicacy they treated me with. 

I heard him apologising against my stomach, over and over again, sobbing harder and harder. I couldn’t say anything back, all I could do was hold him. We cried for a while longer, until there was nothing left to cry and I realised that he had begun to relax against me. I was rubbing my fingers softly against his neck, relaxing the muscles and he was trying not to move, just to feel me for a little longer. 

I suddenly felt sick, the idea that he was holding my fragile body, my thin, breakable figure and pretending like this was okay. I didn’t want him to see what had happened to me, I didn’t want him to see how I couldn’t stand the thought of food anymore, or the thought of him seeing the damage he’d done in his werewolf form. I couldn’t bear him touching me anymore.

I pulled away and Remus didn’t try to stop me, instead he let go and let me walk out to the balcony to take in the fresh air for a while. After a minute or two, I felt him approach, unsure of himself.

‘Tell me what happened.’ I said. ‘That night with Sirius… tell me the truth. Please?’

Remus didn’t hesitate, he told me every single second of what had happened and not just of that night. He carefully explained how he confiscated the map he’d helped make in school from Harry and began to search for Peter Pettigrew, another of the map’s makers. The doubt had already begun to creep into his mind over what really happened that night at Godric’s Hollow and all he felt he needed was that name wandering around the castle to prove it. 

He’d become so desperate to find Peter’s name, that when he finally saw it and Sirius Black entering into the Whomping Willow with Harry, Ron and Hermione, he forgot about the full moon and his wolfsbane entirely and raced to the entrance to the Shrieking Shack. The fact that Peter had spent twelve years as a rat only furthered his guilt, no innocent man would feel the need to hide that way. Sirius explained his side of things, the logic that Voldemort would fully expect the Potters to choose him as Secret Keeper only added more weight to his argument to change at the last minute to Peter. No one would expect them to do that and Harry would be safe.

Everything had moved too quickly for Sirius to prove his innocence and knew that without Peter, he had no hope. He’d finally caught up with Peter and before he could do anything, Peter cut off his finger and killed the surrounding muggles, before changing into a rat. The ministry, the Potters and the Order had no other conclusion to draw other than Sirius Black had been the spy all along, passing information to Voldemort, including the location of Harry Potter, and killing Peter was seen as a last attempt to hide his guilt. 

I listened to Remus tell me everything and absorbed the way he spoke with such clarity. I missed his voice, I missed listening to him tell stories or talk about his students, his father, anything that meant I could hear his warm sound seeping into me. 

I thought on what he’d told me and decided it made enough sense and he wasn’t lying, that I nodded and said ‘Okay. Thank you.’

Remus sighed. ‘Angelina, I want you to know that I am sorry and that I want to help you get through this. You remember I told you about those muggles? When I was fourteen…’ the tears began building behind his already red eyes. ‘I promised myself that I would never put anyone at risk like that again, and to know that I hurt the one thing I… to know that I hurt you in that way… I never deserved you, I knew that, but I just…’ He couldn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t have to.

‘You did.’ I whispered, barely audible, but he heard me loud and clear. ‘You deserved more than me, Remus. You’re such a good man.’

‘How can you say that after what I did to you?’

‘Because you didn’t do anything.’ I shook my head, feeling the burning of my own tears. ‘It was my fault, I knew it was a stupid idea at the time, I just didn’t want you to hurt anyone else.’ I sniffed and adjusted my sling into a more comfortable position. ‘I just figured that if it was me, that would be fine, but if it was Harry… you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself.’

‘What makes you think I can forgive myself anyway?’

I shook my head, almost laughing at how ridiculous it seemed. ‘I don’t know. But if this… we… whatever might happen… or not… I just have to believe that you can… that it’s a possibility.’

Remus nodded letting his head drop and I feared what he was about to say. ‘I don’t think I could ever do that. And I think that you might feel differently in a week’s time.’ He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. ‘Angelina, I don’t know what the future holds in any capacity, but I know that I am incapable of living my life without you. I love you Angelina and I don’t want to know that a second chance was never possible.’

I couldn’t help but sink down against the railing, it just hurt so much, hearing those three words again, knowing he meant them, feeling how much he meant them. It was agony worse than any werewolf bite, the only thing that made it any more bearable was Remus sitting down with me and gently allowing me to lean into his warm body. He still smelled the same, like tea and chocolate and parchment, he still felt the same, lean and full and he still held me the same, delicately and filled with love. 

Remus didn’t say anything, he didn’t even cry after a while, instead he just allowed Angelina to do whatever she needed to do. He understood her pain, he understood that his presence would be overwhelming, but everyone was right, he needed to see her and try to make things right, even if he failed, he needed to try.

Angelina leaned against his chest, occasionally she cried, sometimes she would instinctively pull him closer, but mostly she just breathed him in. He couldn’t deny how much he enjoyed seeing her wearing his old t-shirt, but a part of him felt incredibly sorry for her. If she was still wearing his clothes and crying when she thought about him, then she clearly wasn’t in a healthy place.

She’d felt thinner as well, when he’d held onto her, he could feel her ribs and hipbones and everything in him wanted to take her to bed and restore her to full health. He knew he needed to be brave and face her again, to help her transition into her new life as much as it pained him to know how hard this was going to be. Remus couldn’t leave her to face this alone.

‘I’m sorry you lost your job.’ Angelina sniffed, he could tell she was exhausted. 

Remus half laughed and rubbed his face, trying to wake up a bit. ‘It was just a job. I can always get another one.’

Angelina moved her body so that her face was nestled against his neck and it was bliss. She smelled so good, it was the sweet, feminine smell that he had always known to be hers. 

‘But you loved teaching.’ She mumbled and the vibrations made Remus’s skin shiver, he couldn’t help but pull her a little closer, his lips barely touching her soft, blonde hair. Remus breathed her in as deeply as he could, but it still wasn’t enough, he wanted to kiss her... Remus suddenly stopped his line of thinking and took a much steadier breath. Angelina seemed so comfortable against him, it seemed such a shame to move her, but it was getting late and he didn’t want to overwhelm her or do anything that she may not have been okay with. 

‘Angelina.’ He whispered into her hair. ‘You can’t sleep here, you’ll get cold.’

Angelina took in a deep breath and opened her deep, ocean blue eyes. For a moment he watched them staring up at him, Remus was absolutely convinced that if he moved to kiss her that she would kiss him back and they would fall into each other the way they used to be. But it wouldn’t have been right to force the matter. 

It was as if she suddenly realised where she was, her eyes tore away from him as she took in a deep breath and tried to get up. Remus could see it was a struggle and quickly moved to help her to her feet.

‘Thanks.’ Angelina grasped her shoulder as if it was suddenly burning her. ‘I need to…’

Remus nodded and let her head back into her lab, she was searching for something and Remus suddenly realised how stupid he was being.

‘Let me help.’ He said. Angelina suddenly came to a stop. Was that the wrong thing to say? ‘Angelina-‘

‘You need to leave.’ She was crying again and Remus could feel his heart swelling painfully.

‘Please, Angelina, just let me help-‘

‘Remus.’ She snapped. ‘I don’t want you to see it. Please just leave.’ 

He wasn’t sure what to do, on the one hand he couldn’t throw away an opportunity to help her and on the other, he really didn’t want to see what he’d done to her. 

Remus sighed. ‘I’ll come back tomorrow.’ He finally said, knowing it was no good to push the subject. The second he left her lab, his heard her sobbing once again.

Remus made his way back down the stairs and to the kitchen where George had come home. He and Anna were talking quietly, stopping when they heard Remus coming. It was a somewhat awkward moment, it was the first time he’d seen George since Angelina came back from Azkaban and he was unsure of how the Healer would react to him.

‘How is she?’ Anna’s big blue eyes widen with worry.

‘As well as to be expected.’ Remus didn’t even try to smile. ‘She was having trouble with… she didn’t want me to help.’ It turned into a mumble by the end and Remus felt the shame overcome him once again.

‘I’ll see if she’s alright.’ George said and gave his wife a quick kiss, before heading past Remus and up to Angelina’s lab. There was a thick silence between the two of them.

‘Did she say anything?’ Anna was trying to be nice, but Remus didn’t feel like he deserved her hospitality. 

‘She vented a little.’ Remus nodded. ‘I think she was just a little overwhelmed by my being there.’

‘Well, that’s understandable.’ Anna gave him a half smile. ‘Will you be coming back tomorrow?’

Despite how she felt about Remus, there was still a hopeful look in Anna’s eyes that he would come back to the house to help her daughter.

‘The full moon is in a week,’ Remus nodded. ‘She’ll need someone to help her through. I’ll be here in the morning, if that’s okay?’

‘Thank you.’ Anna nodded. ‘I’ll make sure she’s up.’

Remus left the Lockwood house and spent the remainder of the evening wondering how best to guide Angelina through what was going to be a severely traumatic experience for her body and mind.


	3. Tell Me Something Happy

Remus had come to the house every morning leading up to the three days before the full moon, trying to repair the damage from the last year. Once I’d gotten over the fact that he was there constantly, I managed to vent the rest of my anger about what had happened, I shouted and I cried and I used up any energy I had left to say things I’d never mean in a thousand years. But Remus knew that and just allowed me to shout and do whatever it was that made me feel better for a while.

In between the shouting and the anger, Remus managed to get me to acknowledge that I was scared of what was going to happen and I was, I was more than terrified, every day it crept closer and I wasn’t sure I could cope with the pain on top of everything else. I wasn’t sure I could do this.

‘You can do this.’ He kept telling me. ‘Angelina, just think about what you have already been through before now… how many times have you broken bones?’

‘I don’t know.’ I leaned against my workbench, exasperated. ‘I can’t remember.’

‘Exactly. After a while you don’t even remember that it hurts, believe me, you will get through this.’ 

‘Remus, I know that you’re lying! You’re just saying these things to make me feel brave!’

‘Is that such a bad thing?’ He gave me a sympathetic smile, the one I missed more than any other smile, the one that pulled a twitch of a smile from me in return. I didn’t even hate that he could do that. ‘Angelina, I wouldn’t be saying these things if I didn’t believe that whatever happens, you will get through and you will be stronger for it.’

‘I just…’ Why was this so hard? ‘If I knew for sure what was going to happen… but I don’t.’

‘What do you mean?’ Remus frowned and I thought how best to explain.

‘I tested the blood that came directly from the bite, there’s still venom in it.’

‘Is that not normal? You haven’t transformed yet, surely there would still be something?’

‘Yeah there should be, but I should be able to take blood from any other part of me and get the same results.’ I showed him the two much smaller cauldrons I was using to test the blood. ‘So this is the sample that came from my right leg.’ I turned the heat up a little. ‘See how it just thins out and doesn’t change colour? That’s how you know its normal, no infections, no discolouration that indicates any muscle damage, nothing.’ I turned the heat back down and turned it up on the next one. ‘This one is the blood that came from the bite yesterday when it reopened again.’ The liquid began to separate into a discoloured red and jet black that was werewolf venom.

Remus took a breath. ‘So, what does this mean?’ 

‘I have no idea.’ I sighed. ‘But it’s not normal. It keeps reopening, at first it was itchy and every time I scratched it, I’d have to replace the bandages, but now the anti-flaring balm hardly seems to work and it reopens nearly twice a day.’

Remus nodded and I could tell this was an uncomfortable conversation for him to have. ‘Tomorrow is when I would normally start drinking the Tea, I think you need to consider taking some as well.’

‘The Tea is only for when you feel tired,’ I shook my head. ‘It’s the Silver and Dittany in it that does most of the actual work?’

‘And you don’t think it’s going to help?’

‘Well, it hasn’t so far!’ I yelled. Why was this making me so angry? I took a breath, leaning on my workbench to calm myself down a little. ‘There’s no point in taking something that might not even help me.’

‘Angelina,’ Remus was suddenly incredibly worried. ‘Your shoulder.’ 

I suddenly put my hand up to where my father had put on a fresh bandage just before Remus arrived, it had reopened again. My father was already at work, it was just myself and Remus in the house, but I couldn’t ask him to help me, I couldn’t let him see what he had done to me.

‘Can you…?’ I could feel the emotion getting the better of me and it didn’t help that Remus had taken a step towards me, eager to help where he could. ‘I need to change the bandages. Can you leave please?’

Remus didn’t move for a moment. ‘Will you be able to manage on your own?’

‘I’ll be fine.’ I lied and he could tell.

‘Angelina-‘

‘Remus.’ The tears had begun building once again. ‘I don’t want you to see.’

‘Why not?’ I couldn’t believe he was asking that. ‘Angelina, I have seen and suffered this before, I am here to help you in anyway I can, this is something I can help you with. Why won’t you let me?’

‘Because, I don’t want you to think I’m-‘ I stopped. I couldn’t finish the sentence. We both knew where it was going, I was scared and not thinking straight and the last thing I wanted for Remus to think I was ugly. I felt so shallow, so incredibly fake, but all he could do was chuckle at me.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said, but didn’t stop smiling. ‘Angelina, I know you realise how ridiculous that is. I could never think you are anything less than beautiful, never. I know that this is hard, I’ve been through this, for myself and with other people. It’s never easy, but the more honest you can be with the people around you, the easier the transition will be. Now, I understand that there is still a question,’ he stopped my argument. ‘But just in case, I think we need to prepare for the possibility that you will become a werewolf… so, please, let me help you through this.’

Remus had managed to convince Angelina that he could help, she was resistant for a long time, not quite happy with him seeing the bite, but he followed her instructions and soaked the fresh bandages in the liquid form of the anti-flaring balm. That was the easy part, the more difficult part was removing the old ones.

Angelina stopped resisting after a while and just became still, she was waiting for him to be horrified and leave her to suffer this alone, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t possibly leave her, not now, not ever. She needed someone who was going to be there when all others turned against her, he prayed it wouldn’t happen, but that was the nature of being a werewolf. 

They’d managed to remove everything apart from the gauze holding the wound together, she had insisted on changing into a shirt that would keep the rest of her body covered, but from the way her skin stretched so tightly over her collarbone, it was obvious that it wasn’t more scars she was hiding. Remus decided to leave that observation for another time. 

He carefully lifted the gauze to reveal a set of sharp and angry tooth holes, spanning from the top of her shoulder to the centre of her chest and over her entire shoulder blade. Remus took a moment to rid himself of the image he had of clamping his jaw down into her soft flesh, before carefully cleaning up where the blood had begun pouring out again. 

Remus could see the fear in her still gaze, she tried to pretend that she was just looking out the window, but soon she realised she didn’t need to lie to him, he’d seen that expression far too many times, it was helplessness. Angelina was entirely powerless and it was all his fault. He brought his own chair closer beside her and tried to focus on the task of cleaning the wound. Eventually the bleeding stopped and the wound began healing over at a rapid rate once again.

‘Are you alright?’ He asked, he wasn’t sure what to say, he just wanted her to say something.

‘I did the right thing, didn’t I?’ It was suddenly obvious that the tears had begun building once again. ‘Because, I keep going over it in my head, I’ve been trying to think what else I could have done, but nothing comes to me. I couldn’t change into my animagus and risk losing your attention, what if you’d attacked Harry without giving me a second glance? And I wouldn’t have been able to stop you, I was too far away from him. I didn’t know where Sirius was, so what if you’d bitten him and he was still alive? If I hadn’t lured you away, you might have killed someone.’

Remus took a breath, it was something he couldn’t bear thinking about. ‘You’re right, there was nothing else you could have done.’ Remus would always complete the statement in his head that he just should have remembered to drink his Wolfsbane; but blaming himself wouldn’t help her feel better about what she did.

Without any hesitation, Angelina began sobbing and Remus hated to see her in such pain. He instinctively put everything down on the floor and lifted her shaking body, bringing her into his arms and allowing her to cry against him for a while. She sat so perfectly on his lap, her head nestled between his shoulder and neck and her hand rested against his chest. He couldn’t appreciate the feel of her body against his while she was crying and whispering how scared she was, he just needed to be there for her.

‘I know, I know.’ Remus gently placed his hand on her hip and the other cradled her head against him. He couldn’t help but placed small, soft kisses into her hair, that sweet, light scent filling his entire being once again. ‘I know it’s scary, but I’m not going to leave you to do this alone. I’m going to be here for you every second you need me, I promise.’ 

Remus hoped she believed him, he meant it, he meant every word when he told her he loved her, when he told her he was sorry and that he would do anything to make things right, but the problem was, she was in denial. She still believed that there was a possibility that she wasn’t a werewolf.

‘Has she had any Tea?’ George asked, as he arrived home from work. Remus had let Angelina fall asleep in his arms, she slept for nearly an hour before he heard anyone come home, he put her to bed and hoped that it was enough to allow her some peace. 

‘No, she’s refused any time I’ve brought up the subject.’ Remus shook his head, he still wasn’t sure where he stood with George. Anna had made her feelings clear, she hated what was happening to her daughter, but could at least see the best thing for Angelina was for Remus to try to help in anyway he could. 

‘Is there anything else we can do to convince her to take the treatment?’ Anna asked, she was exhausted and it showed more and more these days. 

‘I’m not sure,’ Remus shook his head. ‘She’s concentrated on the infection at the moment and I have to say it is a little strange that the venom has not behaved in the normal way.’

‘What does that mean?’

‘She tested blood taken from two areas of her body,’ Remus explained, a little wary of George’s sudden attention on him. ‘The infected area is where the venom seems to have stayed instead of spreading to the rest of her body like it should have done, it’s how the body gets prepared for the transformation.’

Anna just nodded, but looked to her husband for an explanation. George just stood and thought for a while.

‘Perhaps we should allow her body to do what it needs to for a while.’ He mused. ‘It’s been reopening of it’s own accord more and more regularly, perhaps its best we leave it to drain for a while.’ 

Remus didn’t want to argue, he just wanted Angelina to be okay, to accept that this was happening and that he just wanted to help.

George was unsure of how to help his daughter, his son wasn’t coping well with some of the bad press and his wife had been relegated to admin duties in the Aurors office, she’d been deemed unfit for field work and for a while, he thought this was a good thing. Adrianna may have been able to spend a little more time with their children as a result, but for the moment, his family was being kept together by a very thin thread.

He knew that Angie had been coping better since Remus’s arrival, but it didn’t stop the instinctive anger that George felt in his chest. He could have killed her and that is something George would never forgive. He felt so many mixed emotions about it, on the one hand, he was very proud of how brave Angie had been in putting Harry’s safety first, but he was incredibly angry that it led to her suffering. He wasn’t stupid, if there was another option, he was sure she would have exploited it, he just wished it hadn’t been her.

‘Is she coming here for the first one?’ Lily asked, sipping her steaming tea and leaning against the kitchen counter in the staff room; they both knew their break would be interrupted and made a point to eat when they could. 

‘Remus is trying to persuade her towards the idea.’ George sighed, biting into his apple. He sat back in his chair and stretched his legs out a little beneath the table. ‘She’s just scared and in denial about what’s happening to her.’

Lily nodded, they both glanced towards the door, listening to the hurried footsteps of someone coming towards the staff room to tell them of some emergency. ‘If anyone can get her through this, it’s Remus. Try and be patient with him, he’s not a bad person.’

‘I know.’ George said, with an attempt at a smile. He quickly finished his apple and accompanied Nathan to see his patient’s status.

Something kept flaring in the back of his mind in the rare moments he had to himself. Darren. Something was wrong, something he couldn’t quite place. Perhaps Angie would have benefited from a visit from her brother.

The day was here and I was terrified. My father had suggested allowing the wound to drain instead of sealing it for a while, but every time I let it drain, it only caused me more pain, like I was being bitten all over again, like sharp vicious teeth were tearing through my flesh all over again until I couldn’t take it anymore. After a while, I didn’t mind that Remus couldn’t watch, there was nothing he could do to help anyway and I was incapable of staying conscious afterwards. 

Remus had convinced me that spending the night in one of St Mungo’s locked rooms was a good idea and promised that he would be there in the room next to mine, he wouldn’t leave me alone. I decided against taking any Silvermint Tea, I wasn’t tired, in fact, when I was awake and in my lab, I was abnormally energetic, my mind raced with a hundred different ideas, I felt I could run for days and never get tired. What was happening to me?

My father made a batch of Lockwood’s Wolfsbane and the smell began to make me feel sick. Remus did his best to encourage me to drink it while we had breakfast at the kitchen table, but it took a while and eventually my father needed to leave for work to prepare the rooms. 

‘Maybe some sugar would help?’ Remus suggested, but it didn’t work, in fact it made me want to throw up even more. I couldn’t finish it, I’d only had a quarter of a goblet, it wasn’t nearly enough to help with the effects of the full moon and it was only making me miserable. ‘You don’t have to have it all in one sitting, as long as it’s all consumed before we leave, it’ll be fine.’ He was so calm, how was he still so calm? Why wasn’t he more upset about this? 

‘I think I’m going to be sick.’ I said and rushed over to the kitchen sink, throwing up what I’d already drank of the Wolfsbane. Remus was with me instantly, he held my hair back and out of the way and gently rubbed my back, trying to soothe me. ‘Why can’t I do this?’ I cried.

‘Angelina, you can do this.’ Remus said, much more firmly. ‘You just need to stop panicking, the second you acknowledge that this is happening, the easier it will be. I promise this is no harder than anything you’ve been through so far, just relax and breathe. Everything is going to be okay.’ 

I almost believed him. I really did. For just a second, I truly believed that I was going to be okay, that I wouldn’t transform into a monster, I wouldn’t be in pain and my body would be mine again. But my stomach spasmed and the rest of what I’d consumed that morning forced its way out of my mouth. 

Remus had taken me back to bed, the exhaustion was catching up to me, why didn’t I just listen to Remus? Why didn’t I take his advice and just drink the damn Tea? Why was this happening to me? 

‘You need to calm down,’ Remus whispered into my hair. I was sweating heavily and I prayed I could just fall asleep and never wake up. ‘Angelina, just breathe for me. Deep breaths.’ He said, I could feel myself wrapping my arms tighter around his lean waist. ‘Come on, just breathe for me.’ It was only then that I realised how stuttered my breathing really was. I closed my eyes and tried to inhale as deeply as I could, I could smell him, the tea, the chocolate, him. ‘That’s it.’ He sighed and kissed my forehead. ‘That’s it, just keep breathing. Everything is going to be okay.’

It was at that moment I realised why Remus kept saying that, it wasn’t to keep me calm anymore, he was trying to convince himself that I would be okay, that I would survive this, because if I didn’t… if I couldn’t hold down the Wolfsbane, the transformation would be far too traumatic on my already weakened body, the wound would reopen and I would lose too much blood.

‘Remus,’ I choked. ‘Tell me something happy.’

‘Something happy?’

‘Tell me about the best day we ever had.’ I needed to hear his voice. I needed to feel his arms around me, cradling me underneath the sheets of my bed and keeping me safe for a while. 

Remus didn’t hesitate, he pulled the sheets up and made sure I was comfortable against his warm body. 

‘The best day we ever had.’ Remus mused, running his finger through my hair and soothing me anyway he could. ‘You know, I’m not so sure I can pick one.’ I could hear his smile. ‘Angelina, we’ve had so many good days together… laughing in my office, dancing at the wedding, going away together.’ Something suddenly hit me.

‘Reykjavik.’ I whispered.

‘Reykjavik was a particular favourite of mine.’ Remus chuckled. ‘I felt so calm there, nothing panicked me, you were so brave and so beautiful in the light.’

I swallowed, trying to find the energy to move to see him. ‘That was the password, wasn’t it? In Dumbledore’s office, you sealed the compartment with a password.’

‘It was, yes.’ Remus smiled against my skin. ‘That weekend meant more to me than anyone could know.’

‘I was so angry at you at the time.’ I said. ‘It never occurred to me to try it.’

‘That’s why I’ve been trying to make amends. I don’t want your anger at me to ever get in the way of you getting what you want or what you need.’

I stayed silent for a moment. I thought about what I wanted to say, if this was the last day I ever had, what did I really want him to know? What was the most important thing I could possibly make him understand?

‘Remus?’ I used more energy than I knew I had to pull away just enough to see his warm eyes. ‘Can we be in love again?’ I could see the emotion in his face, his hand coming up to stroke my cheek. ‘If this is the last chance I get to be with you, then I don’t want to waste anymore time being angry.’

‘Angelina, we’ll get another chance-‘

‘What if we don’t? What if this is it?’ I cried. ‘What if tonight when the moon comes up, what if my body can’t cope? It hurts so much, I don’t know what’s going to happen if it…’ I couldn’t finish the sentence and Remus brought me back close to him.

‘Alright, alright,’ he whispered. ‘Okay… I understand.’ Remus kissed my forehead again and I suddenly needed more than that. ‘No more wasted time, I promise.’

Remus held me while I cried into his neck, he didn’t seem to care, all he seemed to want was to hold me and make sure I knew that he was there.

‘I never stopped loving you.’ I whispered against his jaw. Remus stilled, before slowly adjusting to see my face, he was searching for any sign of a lie. ‘I had to know the first time I kissed you, that I would never love anyone else, I would never want to be with anyone but you for the rest of my life… I guess I’m getting my wish.’ I half laughed, but Remus was still searching my face.

‘Angelina.’ He breathed and placed his soft warm lips against mine. It was just the way I’d remembered it, his lips, his tongue, his teeth exploring my mouth and groaning when he found something I liked, his hand was in my hair and on my back, anything to get closer, to taste more, to feel more. I couldn’t believe I’d wasted so much time being angry, being heartbroken and feeling sorry for myself, I should have just gone to his office and kissed him with everything I had. Maybe none of this would have happened if I’d done that, maybe Remus would have believed me sooner about Sirius Black, maybe he wouldn’t have gotten ill around the full moon, maybe he would have remembered to take his potion and we could have lived a long and happy life together. 

Remus pulled away gently, I could taste his tears on my lips, but I didn’t care, they were a part of him and anything that reminded me of him was a good thing. He looked down at me and smiled gently.

‘I love you so much.’ He whispered. ‘I am so sorry that this has happened, I am so sorry that I didn’t give you wanted sooner and I am so sorry that I wasn’t good enough when you needed me to be.’ His thumb stroked my cheek and again he smiled at me. ‘When this is over, I’m going to be better, I’m going to do everything I can to be the man you deserve and I’m going to tell you everyday how much you mean to me.’ Remus placed another delicate kiss to my lips and I couldn’t stop my tears.

I was so sure that this was it, this was the last time I would ever kiss him, the last time we would ever share a moment together, the last time we would ever be okay. I knew my body, it was exhausted, it was drained, my mind was drained, my heart was emptying quicker than I’d ever felt before. 

Tonight, was going to be my last night on this earth.


	4. What We Could Have Had

Remus couldn’t find a way for her to keep the potion down and by the time they got to the hospital she was already far weaker than he’d ever been during a transformation, so much so that George carried her to a bed so that she could rest. She didn’t let him leave her side, even when people began to arrive to wish her well. There was a real possibility that this could have been it, this could be the last time they ever got to see Angelina. Remus tried so hard not to feel the guilt, because every time he did he could see her eyes growing darker and piercing his, it was like the wolf was sitting just behind them, watching him.

Anna kissed the top of her daughter’s head and tried not to cry when wishing her luck and telling her how much she loved her. Darren had arrived after a friendly Quidditch match between England and Argentina, all he could do was tell her about it, about how much fun he was having because he knew that’s what she wanted to hear more than anything.

‘… and I’ll tell you Angie,’ he said, holding her hand and keeping a hold on his tears. ‘You’re going to see me lift that Cup this year. We’re going to win and I’m going to prove you right. Best brother you ever had.’ He half laughed and it pulled a twitch of a smile from her face, much to everyone’s pleasure. ‘I won’t let you down Angie, no one loves you like I do.’ Darren could bear the sight of his sister so close to death. He kissed her head and tried to smile his winning smile, but couldn’t quite pull it off. 

Jocelyne, Benji and David had all visited along with the twins and it seemed to cheer her up a little more, but nothing could quite settle the wild fury in her eyes, the fury that belonged to the monster she was about to turn into. It was a fury that Remus knew all too well. George had tried again to get her to take the Wolfsbane potion, but the only time she every displayed any kind of energy was when she was throwing it back up again.

‘We’ve already begun putting up stronger precautions,’ Lily sat beside Remus while George tried to keep her temperature down, they had only realised it was abnormally high when Remus mentioned her being warm. They should have been around the same, with their bodies preparing to change. ‘If she can’t hold down the wolfsbane then we don’t have a choice. We thought allowing you to change together would help her get through, but we can’t risk your safety, especially given that this is her first full moon.’

‘I understand.’ Remus said, miserably. He could feel his body getting ready for the change, weakening before a moment of clarity was always the way it went. As much as he hated to admit it, if this was the state she was entering the transition in, then her chances of surviving were slimmer than he wanted to admit. 

‘She’s going to be okay, Remus.’ Lily placed her hand over the top of her old friend’s. ‘The first time is always the worst, you know that… and you know what they say about Lockwoods?’

Remus shook his head, entertaining Lily for a while. 

‘Made of tough stuff.’ It was the smallest voice, but it was Angelina who answered, her eyes were glazed over, but her moment of clarity was happening a little sooner than Remus’s.

‘That’s right Angie,’ George smiled sadly down at his daughter. ‘Lockwoods are made of the toughest stuff. You’re going to get through this, you are going to survive and you are going to live a long and happy life with Remus by your side.’ He placed a cool cloth against her forehead. ‘I can’t imagine a better life for you.’ 

Remus was only half sure George meant it, he still wasn’t on the best terms and if Angelina died that night, the Healer would have every right to blame Remus. It was all his fault that she was here, the least he could do was help her feel brave even just for a little while. 

‘Let’s get you downstairs.’ George said and nodded to Lily to help move the bed down to the secure rooms. Remus dragged his body down with them and watched as Angelina was placed into the locked room. 

She had refused to wear his old t-shirt, telling him that if there was any chance that she survived, she wanted to wake up wearing it and that was how she would know everything was okay. It seemed so small and trivial, but if it made her happy and made her brave then he’d do anything she asked. Instead, she just wore an old baggy t-shirt that she used to sleep in and tight shorts that Remus was sure she used when she exercised to keep her cool. 

Angelina looked so helpless, sweat was pouring from every patch of skin and her eyes were growing even darker as the sun began to descend entirely. She had been given a pillow to rest on, but anything else she may have accidentally hurt herself with. Remus was still tired, but George gave him a moment with Angelina before she was sealed in.

‘Angelina?’ Remus sat against the wall and gently stroked the top of her head. She could almost focus her eyes on him and it was enough to tell him that she was listening. ‘I don’t know how much longer we have, but I want to use this time to show something.’ Remus pulled out a picture from his trouser pocket and positioned it above her so she could see it properly.

It was of a house that sat beside a clear blue lake, a huge forest sat behind it and the whole thing look secluded, with plenty of space to breathe. The cottage itself was an old grey brick house with a maroon front door, the front garden looked a little sparse, but with room to grow into something incredibly beautiful. 

‘Its three bedrooms, with a loft that could easily be converted. At the moment the living room and kitchen are walled off, but I’ve always preferred something a little more open plan and I know you like to have space. The lake and forest are clear of any dangerous creatures, just the odd nest of something relatively harmless… I wasn’t sure if you wanted a balcony, I know you like the one in your lab, but I just thought if it was something you really wanted, we could just fix it up.’ Remus could see her eyes focussing. ‘When you were in Tibet, I went looking for the cottage you described, the one you dreamed of having… it was the best I could do… when I saw it, I imagined us having a life here, whatever life you wanted. I imagined mornings I’d let you sleep in, make breakfast and we’d sit outside watching water before starting the day. I imagined, the two of us watching the sun set behind the mountains – you can’t see them in the picture, they’re just behind the lake – but we’d watch the sunset together before spending the night dancing until we were both too tired. I’d kiss you and tell you how much I love you, pull you into my arms so that you would know you were safe… and if the day ever came that we could have children…’ Remus was beginning to lose control of his emotions and there wasn’t much time left. ‘Angelina, I want you to keep this tonight and when you get scared, I want you to think about the life we could have in this cottage. And when you wake up tomorrow… you can let me know about that balcony.’ He could just about see the tears through the sweat as she looked up at the cottage. ‘I love you so much, Angelina. Just survive for me, please just survive, because I don’t know what I’ll do without you.’ Remus cried, he carefully leaned down and placed a kiss against her forehead.

‘Remus.’ She breathed, it was barely a noise, but he could tell exactly what she wanted. Her lips were wet and salty, but it didn’t take away from the fact that they were soft and warm and welcoming, they were still Angelina in every sense. Remus held on just a little longer, savouring the feel of her against him, of her loving him. He would never forget her, he would never love anyone else.

Remus placed the photo on the wall, in her eyeline. ‘Be brave.’ He whispered and finally left her room, taking one last look at the woman he loved, savouring everything about her, her thick blonde hair, her deep ocean blue eyes, her kind, womanly face, everything that made her so beautiful, before collapsing in a heap inside his own locked room. He’d never had to tell someone that everything was going to be okay with the knowledge that it wasn’t before, he tried hard to believe it for her, to believe it enough that she could believe that she would wake up in the morning, but the creeping fear that he’d just said his last goodbye to Angelina was spreading in his mind.

He heard the sound of George crying and saying goodbye to his daughter. The Healer didn’t say anything to Remus, he just locked the door and left. Remus understood, he knew that this was his fault and his punishment was to listen to her dying, helpless to do anything, the same way she was when he attacked her. Remus believed with all his heart that he deserved nothing less. 

He felt his heart shoot through the floor, in the seconds before he felt his body stretching into the wolf, he heard a blood curdling scream that wouldn’t stop all night. Angelina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys think of the story so far!!!!


	5. Surely... Surely Not

Nathan tried as hard as he could to hold everything together, but George Lockwood was crying, not just crying, he was sobbing, so much so that his entire body weakened and shook and he let out a great wailing. No one else was much better, Anna and Darren were trying to comfort him through their own sobs and Lily Potter was just standing still in shock. He’d heard that Angie couldn’t hold down the Wolfsbane, that it made her sick, but surely that wasn’t the end of the world, she was the world’s leading expert in Lycanthropy, surely if there was a way around this, she would find it.

The first transformation was always the worst, Nathan knew that from the experiences he’d had at St Mungo’s, he was determined to take on the werewolf cases since George had told him how much he reminded him of Jack Rathborne. A picture of the young Healer when he and Angie made Lockwood’s Wolfsbane hung in the staff room, it was on the wall of achievements and a point of pride for George. 

Jack looked like an incredibly happy young man, a great big smile was on his face as he turned to Angie and laughed before turning back to the camera. That seemed to be how everyone remembered him, happy, smiling and never without a kind word to say to anyone. He was barely over fifteen in the picture with his styled blonde hair and crisp grey eyes, he was incredibly handsome even then, his jaw was chiselled and sharp and he stood just a little taller than Angie. If Nathan hadn’t already seen her with Professor Lupin, or Lupin as he now called him, he would have said that Angie and Jack would have made a perfectly suited couple.

No one ever said how Jack Rathborne died and that was what had Nathan thinking about him, it must have been a big cover up, something that the ministry didn’t want getting out into the public, because the same thing was happening now. Everyone in the hospital was being given strict instructions to keep Angie Lockwood’s condition a secret, they couldn’t risk word getting out that the leading expert in lycanthropy was dying from a werewolf bite.

Nathan wasn’t an idiot, he could put two and two together, the whole thing with Lupin’s secret getting out a month previous, combined with Sirius Black on the run again and Harry Potter escaping a fully formed werewolf. Angie had obviously done something very stupid to save Harry and this was the price she and Lupin were paying for it.

It was hard to watch the two men he’d come to admire suffer so much pain and helplessness, but there really wasn’t anything else for them to try, the moon was up, the rooms were locked and without the Wolfsbane to ease the trauma, Angie Lockwood was probably already dead. 

Nathan didn’t have much choice, with one of the highest ranking Healers crying over the loss of his daughter, no one was taking responsibility for his patients. Nathan picked up his rounds and went to visit each one of the patients, if they asked, Nathan told them that George had a family emergency that couldn’t be put on hold and most of them were happy with that. Now, Nathan wasn’t exactly sure about all of the ailments, but he did his best, he asked other Healers and read the books he’d seen George reading. He even managed to get permission to discharge a man who’d gone through George’s recommended treatment and heal completely. 

It was a long night and on occasion he would check in with the Lockwoods, all of whom were in and around George’s private room. Nathan knew that they were just holding onto any last hope that Angie survived, as slim a chance as it may have seemed, the hope wasn’t leaving them and it was causing them so much pain. 

Nathan was exhausted and the sun had already begun to come up, the moon was long gone and yet no one moved. Someone needed to go down to the rooms, one to see if Lupin had hurt himself in the night and two in case Angie survived. Not a single person felt that they could, all of them had stayed in the hospital waiting until morning so that they could see her, but now that the time was upon them, no one wanted to go. Nathan understood, he knew that they had gotten through on a faint hope that she was okay, but now that morning was here, the realisation that the hope was in fact very faint, was sinking in. 

‘I’ll go.’ Nathan spoke up and everyone looked at him, some wondering who he actually was. ‘It’s okay, I can do this for you.’ Nathan told George, who for a moment just looked at him, before letting his emotions get the better of him again and his wife couldn’t do anything but hold him close to her. 

‘Nathan, you don’t need to.’ Lily said and wiped away her tears, finding herself some composure. ‘It’s not your responsibility.’

‘Nor was checking on your patients, but I did that.’ Nathan shot back, he wasn’t being stubborn or brave, the truth was he was terrified of what he was going to find in the locked rooms, but it was clear that his fear was nothing in comparison to the pain George would feel if he went down there. ‘I discharged Mr Fletcher an hour ago, the treatment worked and there was no more reason for him to still be here.’ Nathan swallowed his fear. ‘I can do this for you.’ He repeated and Lily just nodded but insisted she would go with him seeing as it was her son’s behaviour that led to all of this. 

Nathan took a breath, everything was prepared, there was a batch of Silvermint Tea brewing and two beds ready. One more breath and he descended the metal stairs down to the locked rooms, Lily close behind.

No one was ready for what they saw, not a single person could have predicted this and Nathan froze for just a moment. In the right room, Lupin was curled into a blanket and was mumbling through the wall, the glass was a little scratched and his beige t-shirt was a little ripped from where he hadn’t bothered taking it off before transforming. But in the left room, there were no ripped clothes or scratches on the glass; there was just blood, it was splattered all over the glass and it made it difficult to see into the room. 

Nathan slowly approached, Lupin seemed to be recovering the way he should have done, but it was hard to see what had happened to Angie. As he got closer to the room, he could just about make out a body lying on the ground, it wasn’t moving. 

‘Help me open it.’ Nathan turned to Lily who was losing her composure again, but Nathan wouldn’t let her crack. ‘Lily!’ He snapped her out of it and they began dismantling the protective spells. 

Another two Healers had appeared to help Lupin, but Nathan wasn’t so sure it was a good idea to let him see the blood.

‘Keep him in there for now.’ Nathan said quietly. Lupin was still mumbling through the wall, something about being brave and Nathan’s heart cracked, were those his last words to the woman he loved? To be brave in the face of death? A death he held himself responsible for.

The Healers did as they were asked and began helping him drink his Tea and get dressed, while Nathan and Lily finally got the glass door open to find Angie’s lifeless body in the middle of the floor. He kept his wand out and went over to her… she was warm, not just warm, but she was sweating through her clothes… wait, none of her clothes were ripped, they should have been torn apart from the transformation and she was far too weak to have dressed by herself.

Movement caught Nathan’s eye and when he looked towards the corner closest to Lupin’s room, he saw a puddle of black liquid dripping down the wall, but where did all the blood come from? 

‘Nathan?’ Lily couldn’t step into the room, not quite yet.

‘Where was she bitten?’ Nathan immediately asked, slipping on protective gloves.

‘Her shoulder.’

Nathan immediately moved the loose t-shirt away from the left shoulder to find it covered with drying blood, he waved his wand, removing the blood and found a set of pink scars that looked incredibly similar to dog teeth. They can’t have been a month old, they looked like they’d been a part of her for years.

She still wasn’t moving, but she was breathing, it was low and shallow, but she was alive. 

‘What?’ Lily gasped.

‘She’s alive, but only just.’ Nathan repeated, jumping into action. ‘We need to get her upstairs, there’s no visible wounds, but this blood has come from somewhere, so we need to be ready.’ Lily didn’t move. ‘Lily! Go and tell George his daughter is alive!’ Nathan shouted; he couldn’t let Angie down now. 

He noticed she had been holding onto a picture of a cottage, was that her house? Whatever it was, it must have been important for her to hold onto it so tightly. 

Nathan suddenly heard a wailing just beyond the glass door, it was Lupin being taken out of his room, he saw the blood and before Nathan could tell him that she was alive, he was taken away. How could the Healers be so stupid as to let him see what had happened? Nathan put his annoyance to one side and concentrated on finding where the blood had come from, maybe Lily was mistaken and she wasn’t bitten on her shoulder.


	6. A Familiar Face

Everything was white, it was peaceful, the sun was high in the sky, the lake went on forever and the castle stood behind me, shining out in a glorious ray of white light. Where the Forbidden Forest should have been, there was just a path, I couldn’t see where it led, but I had a feeling I knew exactly where it went. 

I sat on the same rock I used to sit on when I was in first year, it was the way I remembered it, quiet with so much room to breathe and think. I closed my eyes and tried to remember the way the sun felt on my face and the way the breeze circled my body, keeping me at just the right temperature. 

‘Angie.’ A warm voice breathed. I opened my eyes to see bright, grey eyes smiling into me. Jack. ‘It’s been a while.’ He said, still smiling. His thick, blonde hair swayed in the breeze and he never looked more handsome. ‘Sorry I didn’t dress up for you,’ he joked. ‘I didn’t think you’d mind though.’ I suddenly took in the rest of him, he wore a loose white jumper, rolled up to his elbows, tight white jeans and perfectly white slip on trainers. He was still so cool.

‘Jack.’ I breathed. I couldn’t help myself, I wrapped my arms around his body, he didn’t feel like the Jack I remembered, but it was good enough to simply hold him again. 

‘So, what’s been happening?’ He jokingly asked and we both began laughing. I hadn’t laughed that way in so long, not with anyone.

‘Oh you know, this and that.’ I laughed back, wiping the tears from the corners of my eyes. ‘What’s been happening with you?’

‘This and that.’ There was something a little more cryptic about his answer than I anticipated. We sat back down on the rock. ‘So, you do realise I’m resisting every urge I have to joke about the fact that you’re the leading expert in Lycanthropy and you’ve chosen to die in the most ironic way possible. You’re a cliché, I hope you know that.’

As much as it was a harsh reminder of what had happened, Jack somehow managed to get me to laugh at the bitter irony of the way I died.

‘Well, I always knew you’d have the last laugh Rathborne.’

‘Oh yeah, I died a hero,’ Jack said, rather proudly in that playful way he always had. ‘I took down a dark wizard, all by myself and all you could do was cry because you hurt you back a bit.’

‘I broke my spine!’ I hit him playfully. ‘And you didn’t take him down on your own, it took four of us just to restrain him!’

‘Shhh,’ Jack giggled. ‘Don’t say it too loudly.’ 

I felt like my stomach was going to burst I was laughing so much. 

‘God, I’ve missed this.’ I sighed, happily letting the last few laughs escape.

‘Yeah, me too.’ Jack looked out at the white lake and sighed. ‘But you know, all good things come to an end eventually.’ 

‘Yeah, we had it pretty good, didn’t we?’

‘We did. Putting on shows in the courtyard, pulling pranks on the Slytherins-‘

‘Only in defence of first years!’

‘Sure.’ Jack shrugged. ‘Whatever you say.’ He looked over at me with those handsome eyes and I couldn’t help my smile as he leaned back on his hands. ‘I’ve missed you, Angie.’

‘I’ve missed you too. Every day.’ I didn’t want to cry, I never wanted to cry with Jack, I only ever wanted to laugh and to see him laugh back at me. We sat for a moment just watching each other, taking in every memory that floated across our faces and remembering the good times. 

‘So…’ Jack finally said. ‘What are you going to do now?’

‘What do you mean?’ I frowned. 

‘Well, as fun as this is, you can’t stay here.’

‘Jack, I don’t even know where here is.’ I half laughed. ‘Where am I supposed to go?’

There was a deep sadness in his eyes that I hadn’t counted on. ‘Well, you’ve got two options… that path,’ he pointed the one that led back up to the castle. ‘Goes back to where you came from and this one,’ he gestured to the on in place of the forest. ‘Goes… on.’

‘On?’

‘Don’t make me explain it, it’s hard enough trying to figure it out myself.’ Jack kept his small grin while he looked at me. ‘The point is, you have to choose one and you need to do it before the sun sets, otherwise you’ll be stuck here forever and I’ve heard that’s a less than friendly experience.’

I frowned at my best friend, trying to figure out what it was he was actually trying to tell me. ‘Wait, I am dead, aren’t I?’

Jack bobbed his head from side to side. ‘Sort of… in a way… look Angie, not everyone gets this choice, I didn’t. So, you need to think about it and really think about what it is you want to do here.’

‘Jack, you’re not making any sense. I was bitten, I had venom in my system and I was too weak to survive the transformation.’

‘Really?’

‘Yes!’

‘And you remember that do you? You remember that exact thing happening?’ The question was enough to make me stop and think, the answer was no, I didn’t exactly remember that, but what else could have happened? The moon came up and I had werewolf venom in my system. The transformation should have killed me. ‘Angie, you didn’t transform, why do you think that was?’

‘But I should have done-‘

‘Stop thinking on what should have happened!’ Jack snapped and stood up from the rock. He sighed put his hands on his hips. ‘Angie, what actually happened when you got to St Mungo’s…’ I couldn’t think, all I could hear was my parents crying and Darren telling me about his match. ‘Angie! Don’t dwell on the bad things, what actually happened? Think about it!’

I tried, Merlin knows I tried. All I could remember was the picture of the cottage, the one that Remus had bought for us, he remembered when I had told him about my dream cottage, one that had room for me to think and for us to have a future.

‘Angie, move on from that, what happened afterwards? After your dad locked the door, just before the moon appeared in the sky.’

I suddenly put my hand up to my shoulder where the bite should have been, but when I felt the skin beneath my vest, it was smooth, there were no scars and in fact there were no scars anywhere on either myself or Jack. I remembered pain and screaming, I remembered clawing at the bite, trying so hard to scratch out the venom.

‘Yes.’ Jack breathed with a relieved smile. ‘There it is.’ 

‘I didn’t transform.’ I said, more as a question than anything.

‘No, you didn’t. Why do you think that is?’ Jack pushed for a little more.

‘I don’t know.’ I shook my head trying to think. ‘Maybe the balm had a delayed effect, or some of the wolfsbane-‘

‘No, go back even further than that.’ Jack said. ‘Go back three thousand years ago.’ What was he talking about? ‘Angie, you already know the answer to this. Tell me about how werewolves first came to be, tell me the most insane theory you can think of that just might be possible.’ He had that smile, the cheeky one that told me he knew something I didn’t.

I rolled my eyes and tried to think about what I knew of the creation of werewolves, on occasion I’d catch Jack glancing at the castle, I tried not to let it distract me.

‘It was blood magic,’ I thought out loud. ‘The she-wolf used blood magic to try and bring her sons back to life, but it went wrong.’

‘But remember that your dad said the brothers could feel what was happening to their corporeal bodies and Remus’s son was born feeling the pain, every Lockwood is born feeling that pain.’ Jack reminded me. He was right, but how did he remember all this stuff, I hadn’t thought on the creation of werewolves for so long now, I was so concentrated on getting rid of the brother’s soul. ‘Angie, think, really think on what happened that day, how did they die?’

‘They died from wounds they’d inflicted on each other-‘

‘No, no they didn’t.’ Jack interrupted, why was he so desperate for me to reach the conclusion? And why right now? ‘Your memory is of Remus in the middle of a battlefield, blacking out, it’s of the sounds of Romulus choking on his own blood, it’s not of them dying, is it?’

He was right. Had I really been so stupid all this time? Had I really overlooked that one small detail? Was that the key to getting rid of the brothers once and for all? Jack could see my brain working in overdrive and knelt down in front of me. 

‘Angie,’ he smiled his charming smile. ‘Tell me the most insane theory of how werewolves were created.’

I swallowed nervously. ‘The most insane thing…’ I started, knowing the answer but not quite wanting it to be spoken allowed. ‘Is that the pieces of the soul were somehow still connected to their bodies and that on some level while their bodies were being changed, it was having an effect on the unborn child.’

‘What kind of effect?’

‘I don’t know,’ it was my turn to stand in frustration. ‘I don’t know, it can’t even be possible!’

‘What can’t?’

‘That the pieces were still linked and while the brothers were dying and the she-wolf tried to change them into a wolf the same as her, the pieces that were inside the unborn child could feel that change happening!’ I said it all so fast that I wasn’t even sure I was in control. ‘The most insane theory is that the child inside Dora, the magic that every witch and wizard is born with, it can be changed, or maybe not changed but taught to do certain things. That’s why its so dangerous to use wandless magic when you’re a kid, that’s why the wand chooses the wizard. Wands are built to find the strength within each person and help them control it, help them to excel without hurting anyone and that’s magic on its deepest level. That’s soul magic.’

‘So, what does that mean?’ Jack was smiling so widely.

‘It means that I didn’t transform into a werewolf… because technically,’ I couldn’t believe I was saying this out loud. ‘Technically I already am one. At least, I’m what the she-wolf was trying to create. She was an animagus and when she was dying she transformed into a wolf because it was the only way she was able to survive whatever was killing her and protect her children. She thought that by forcing her sons to change into wolves that she would somehow save them, but that’s not really how it works, you can’t force an animagus change in someone who isn’t animagus. The two pieces of soul that were inside Remus’s child could feel that and was malleable enough to work it out, that’s why Lockwood’s Patronusses and my animagus is a wolf. They’re guardians designed to help us survive things that other people can’t. We are what werewolves are supposed to be.’

‘Exactly!’ Jack exclaimed. ‘See, you know this stuff, you were always the smart one.’ I rolled my eyes, it wasn’t exactly as comforting as he thought it was. ‘So, now begs the question, what happens when a Lockwood gets bitten by a werewolf?’

I didn’t want to say it, but I’d already thought about the conclusion, I already knew the answer from the way my wound had behaved. 

‘We reject the venom.’ I mumbled and Jack just continued to smile at me. ‘The venom is designed to change the physical form of a human body, but seeing as Lockwoods are already different and already capable of changing whether we know it or not, our bodies just reject the venom… I think that’s also why when I get angry or upset, my body wants to change. I can feel it pulling at me… do you think that’s why Clara and Remus enjoy my animagus so much? Because they can see it’s the thing they were supposed to be?’

‘Probably.’ Jack nodded and began walking towards the path that led away from the castle. ‘You’re the expert, not me.’

‘Where are you going?’

‘Sun’s setting Angie, time to make a choice.’ Jack had that deeply saddened look again. ‘You can’t stay here, you can either go back and live your long and happy life as best you can… or you can go on. The choice is yours, but you have to make it.’

‘It’s too hard, I don’t want to choose.’

‘Angie,’ Jack strode towards me, a new determination in his eyes. ‘I know that this isn’t something you ever wanted, but I know you can do this, you can make this choice. If you go back, you’ll have the fight of your life on your hands, and it will be hard, and it will make you want to give up every day you live through it… if you come with me, everything will be over, easy as that. Done.’ Jack’s eyes darkened as he stared down into me. ‘I always loved you and if I was in Remus’s position right now, I’d be holding onto the dream of the cottage in the middle of nowhere, I’d be so angry at everything and furious with myself… I’d want to die because living without you is the hardest thing I’d ever have to do.’

‘So, you’re saying I should go back?’ I only just realised that tears were trickling down my face. Jack smiled softly and brushed them away with his thumb.

‘I’m saying, you can die any time, but living… you only get one shot at truly living and the fight for it starts now.’ 

Jack gently placed his soft lips against mine, they felt different, it wasn’t warmth I could feel, but light. Bold, brilliant light illuminating every part of me. 

‘I always loved you, Angie Lockwood,’ he whispered against my lips. ‘But the woman I fell in love with was stubborn, she fought dragons and dementors and she danced like it was the only thing she ever wanted to do. She’d never let a mad dog bite get in her way of living.’ 

I couldn’t help but laugh, he was right, since when did I let anything stop me doing anything? Jack placed a delicate kiss to my forehead and smiled down at me. I knew what I needed to do, I needed to go back, I needed to see Remus and try to keep my promise to my brother that we would live long happy lives with the people we loved the most. 

‘I’ll see you around, Rathborne.’ I said, smiling through my tears.

‘Hopefully not too soon, Lockwood.’ He winked.

I backed away, not wanting to take my eyes off of his handsome face, trying hard to memorise every inch of it and remember it the way I used to. Young, carefree and with the biggest smile. As soon as I thought about it, Jack shook his head and laughed the same way he used to, before his whole being faded away and I was left alone to walk back up to the castle.

I reached the gates and turned to see that Jack was right, the sun was beginning to get lower in the sky. I remembered when Tenzin died something similar happened, the sun set in his soul and the lights went out. I was suddenly filled with a new determination to wake up in my bedroom and tell Remus how much I loved him.

The inside of the castle wasn’t exactly the way I remembered it, occasionally there would be a corridor that led towards bright light and no classrooms, but the Dark Arts classroom was exactly the same with white wood tables and Remus’s desk sitting at the far end of the room and his office door open as it always was for me when I was in school. I could even feel his kindness and generosity coming out of it. 

I kept wandering through the corridors, aware that I was heading towards Gryffindor Tower, somehow knowing that if I lay down in my bed in my dormitory and go to sleep, I would wake up in my bed at home and Remus would be there smiling down at me.

Suddenly something made me stop, everything around me was white, white stone, white steps, white windows, white light, everything. Except one thing that kept catching my attention in the corner of my eye. I’d stopped just next to the stairs that led down into the dungeons and saw a pair of beady black eyes staring up at me, the eyes belonged to a strange creature with a wolf-like face, sharp teeth bared and curled blonde hair. It’s thin body was small to begin with, but as the creature slowly began to stand, it was clear that it had long, spindly arms with sharp claws at the end and powerful, spindly legs that bent in ways that no normal leg could bend. It was like a werewolf caught midway towards fully transforming and it was looking at me with such fury like I’d never seen before.

Adrenaline shot towards my legs and sprinted as hard as I could towards the Tower, the creature chased me and let strangled cries of rage until it finally caught up to me. I felt my body slip into survival mode and change into the great wolf I’d been on the side of the mountain, but where the sight of my animagus would turn some creatures away, it only made this creature angry.

It began to claw into my fur and bite hard into my shoulder, causing me to whimper in pain. The sun was setting even faster and if I didn’t make it to the dormitory, then I would never get home again and I would never see Remus again. The creature was stronger than it looked and even breaking its bones didn’t seem to slow it down any. I targeted its legs, throwing it violently down the stairs before darting up towards the tower, but once again it caught up to me, barely acknowledging that anything was wrong with it.

It’s jaw clamped hard into my leg, the same place I’d been bitten by the lionfish so many years ago and everything was suddenly clear. This was what the brother had been turned into, this was Remus’s true form and this was what the mist was so afraid of. I growled painfully, before snapping my jaw around his neck and shaking the same way I had done with the yetis in Tibet. I felt the break between my teeth and threw the creature off the side of the moving staircase, panting hard. If he was still alive then he was coming to get me again, I didn’t have much time left, the sun was almost gone.

I raced up the rest of the stairs and sure enough I heard the strangled growl coming up behind me. I ran through the common room and up the remaining stairs to my old dormitory, morphing back into human form and locking the door behind me. Remus was right outside and was trying to break the door down, but something was telling me that all I needed to do was lay down on my bed and close my eyes.

The second my eyes closed, the growling stopped, the white light disappeared and my whole body flooded with pain. I felt like I was on fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The return of one of my favourite characters! I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, I hope I did some justice to Jack's memory and would love to hear what you guys think.
> 
> (Also the chapter is loosely based on what happens to Harry when he goes to Voldemort at the final battle. But I'm sure you all figured that out!)


	7. The Hollowness Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus is feeling empty, Angie is trying to fill a gap.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a throwback to all the long chapters I used to write, hope you guys like it, let me know in the comments!! And don't forget to leave kudos if you really love it ;)

Remus felt incredibly hollow, like everything inside of him had been carved out and disposed of. He felt nothing and part of him was glad, because at least he couldn’t feel his pain anymore, at least he couldn’t feel the loss of her anymore. He hoped he’d done enough, he hoped that she was brave towards the end, he woke up and dragged his body to the wall separating them, hoping she was still alive and could feel him, but the screaming hadn’t stopped all night, it was as loud and painful from the second the moon came up to the second the sun was glimpsed just beyond the horizon.

Remus had done this to her, he’d caused her to be in such agony that her dying moments were filled with the thought that he did this to her. When he’d been helped to his feet by the Healers, he couldn’t help but risk a glance back to see her, even if it was just a small part of her, he wanted to see Angelina one last time. 

The blood had stained his mind ever since he saw it, any moment he had alone, was filled with the image of her blood covering the walls of the locked room. He couldn’t stand the thought of her dying alone and in such pain when the thing that did her the most harm was sitting curled into a ball just the other side of the wall. He never wanted this for her, never wanted to see her hurt and never because of him.

Remus could feel his body coming back to him, but the real problem was he didn’t know what he was supposed to do now, he didn’t have a job, he didn’t have a home to go back to and he didn’t have Angelina. He honestly didn’t need all three, just one would have been enough. The thought of going to the cottage was making him feel sick, how could he go somewhere he’d picked out especially for them to build a life in? How could he even think about a future without Angelina? How could anything ever be okay again?

‘Remus!’ Lily called, coming into his room as he was buttoning up his shirt and finishing his Tea. ‘Remus… she’s alive.’

Everything stopped, his whole world came to a standstill. It wasn’t possible, he’d seen the blood, that much blood loss would have killed a Hippogriff, Angelina stood no chance. He’d heard her screaming all through the night, there was no way she could have survived, no one could have survived.

‘Remus, I wouldn’t lie about this,’ Lily came to stand in front of him. ‘Angie is alive, but she needs help… please just help her.’ Remus didn’t have a choice, he was too weak to stop Lily pulling him towards her room and too hollow to really feel anything resembling resistance. 

No one was doing anything, they were just standing still, surrounding a bed that Remus couldn’t quite see. Nathan turned to see him and moved just enough that Remus could see what looked to be a pure white tail hanging off the edge of the bed, he got closer and saw that Angelina had transformed into her animagus, but she was struggling to breathe and whimpering. George and Anna were standing the closest, just trying to provide some comfort for their daughter who was clearly struggling to morph back into her human form.

‘She changed while we were bringing her up here,’ Nathan explained. ‘She’s weak and George says she’s stronger when she’s a wolf. This probably isn’t a bad thing for the time being, at least until she gets some of her strength back.’

Remus tried, Merlin knows he tried to listen to Nathan, but all he could do was stare at the beautiful shape of Angelina’s wolf, the soft white fur moved gently with her shallow breath. She was the most beautiful thing in all of creation, that wolf was everything to him, everything he ever wanted, everything he wanted to look at for the rest of his life, he’d never sleep again if it meant watching her breathe. 

He didn’t step any closer to the bed, he just stood watching her struggle to breathe and whimper, it was like she was having a bad dream and no one was surprised. Eventually people began to leave the hospital, unable to help in any way, there was no other reason for them to stay, she was alive and not getting any worse and that was good enough for now. 

Remus just stood at the end of her bed, unsure of what he could do to make things better and terrified that if he did anything, it would make it worse.

‘Remus.’ Lily approached him, George had fallen asleep in his chair and everyone else had left. ‘Why don’t you sit with her for a while?’ She went about waking George enough to get him to his private room to rest. ‘She needs to know you’re here.’ Lily guided George out of the room and left Remus still standing rigid. 

He took a deep breath and slowly took the chair that George had been asleep on, it was from this angle that he could see the scars from what he’d done to her, her face was almost hanging off the bed from where her much bigger frame covered the smaller bed. Remus didn’t know what to do from there, he tried to get himself to feel something, anything that would tell him what to do, but there was nothing. He was numb.

He wanted to touch her, to stroke through the soft fur on top of her head, it was darker there and it somehow made her look more defined, unique. Angelina was nothing if not unique. 

Remus carefully placed his hand on her warm cheek, she made a low growling sound and leaned into the touch a little. He kept his hand there, satisfied that he wasn’t doing anymore damage and continued to rub his thumb against her impossibly soft fur until Lily came back.

‘Has she done anything yet? Woken up? Or… anything?’

Remus shook his head, but continued to stroke her, it was the same sensation as running his fingers through her hair when they were in bed together, and the only way Remus knew it really was Angelina, he knew what she felt like beneath his hands. 

‘I honestly don’t know what to say Remus.’ Lily was struggling to keep things together now. ‘I don’t know if she’s ever going to wake up again.’

‘She will.’ Remus whispered and suddenly Angelina stopped moving. ‘Angelina will wake up, I don’t know when, but she will.’

Suddenly her eyes snapped open, they were darker and he could see a fury sitting behind them. Remus was suddenly very worried it wasn’t Angelina that was staring at him.

‘Angelina, please come back to me.’ Remus whispered, risking everything and pulling his chair closer to the furious wolf. He didn’t care anymore, he just wanted her and if he didn’t have her then he didn’t have anything worth living for. ‘I need you to come back to me, please.’

The wolf began growling and finding it’s feet, its teeth began to be revealed as its lips pulled back and Remus knew that this wasn’t Angelina, whatever it was, it wasn’t the woman he loved, this was something else entirely. Was this really what he’d done to her? It was always a possibility he supposed, that given her family history and how magically unique she was, that her animagus would become a wolf similar to that of a werewolf. 

Remus didn’t move, even with the wolf inches from his face and ready to attack and rip him to pieces, he couldn’t give up if she was in there somewhere. Suddenly the wolf stopped everything and like the dying of a light, her eyes returned to the deep ocean blue he associated with Angelina.

She suddenly collapsed back onto the bed, but couldn’t take her eyes off Remus as tears began to stream into her fur. 

‘Angelina?’ Remus breathed and she began whimpering a little more this time, like she needed him to hold her. He couldn’t refuse and the second Remus placed his hands on her face, she began morphing back into her human figure. 

‘Remus.’ She cried, unable to stop her tears or her body reaching out for him. Remus complied with her wishes and climbed into the bed to hold her body against his.

‘Angelina.’ Remus sighed, finally able to feel something and he was glad that it was overwhelming love. ‘I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.’ He kept repeating, running his hands through her hair and kissing any part of her that he could reach, she was still so weak, but he didn’t mind in the slightest, he was just so happy she was alive.

I could smell tea, hot, steaming tea and a little chocolate. Remus. I could hear the turning of a page, he was reading. I could feel worry and severe anxiety radiating off of him, I must have been asleep for a while. I just about managed to pry my eyes open and look up at the familiar sight that was my bedroom ceiling. Of course, I would have been brought home, they couldn’t keep me at St Mungo’s forever, people would ask too many questions and my parents couldn’t risk any ministry officials coming in and seeing me.

I felt a smile start to form on my face as I took in the moment for what it was. I was alive. Remus was there, looking over me, being kind and considerate and everything he always strived to be and he was okay. We were both okay. I felt my back stiffening up and the small movements had Remus noticing that I was awake.

‘Angelina.’ He sighed and gave me a small, worried smile. ‘You want to turn over?’ I managed a nod and Remus gently helped to ease me over so that I was on my side facing him. I was still tired, but nothing was going to stop me looking at him for as long as I could. ‘Is that better?’ I nodded again and took a breath. I didn’t have much energy to say anything, but it looked like I didn’t need to, Remus seemed happy enough that I had my eyes open and was watching him. ‘I kept my promise.’ He said and gestured to the dark grey t-shirt I was wearing. ‘It’s actually not the same one, we thought you were going to wake up sooner, so I brought another one for you to wear.' 

Suddenly my face was able to smile and I was able to breathe a ‘thank you.’ It was enough for now and Remus could tell I appreciated the effort he went to. He just watched me for a moment, before quickly turning to the table next to him, he broke off the smallest piece of chocolate he could and let me take it. I felt the warmth spreading from the inside out and it made me smile.

‘I am so happy to see you.’ Remus said and gently moved my hair away from my face. ‘Do you feel any better?’

‘A little.’ My voice was hardly more than a whisper. ‘Was it bad?’

Remus nodded, his smile fading slightly. ‘It was terrible.’ He confessed. ‘I thought you died.’ Remus’s face broke out into tears and part of me was so fed up of the both of us crying, but then again, we hadn’t resolved anything for so long. We hadn’t had the chance. 

‘Don’t cry.’ I said and tried to move to hold his hand, but my arms felt like they were being weighed down and my joints weren’t much better. Remus got the hint and brought my hand to his jaw, kissing my palm and holding me against his skin for a while.

‘I’m so sorry, Angelina.’

‘Stop apologising. Forgive yourself.’ 

Remus half laughed. ‘I can’t believe you’re still asking me to do that, after everything you went through… I could hear it… and I saw… on the walls. I saw the blood.’ Remus was losing himself again and I couldn’t let him do that.

‘Please.’ I begged. ‘I have good news.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘I’m not like you.’ I could feel the pull of exhaustion over coming me again, but I had to let him know I was okay. ‘It’s the brother… and the curse.’ I felt darkness overtake me once again.

For the next week while Darren was competing in the group stage of the World Cup, my dad had taken time off work, it was the first time in nearly twenty-five years and he was looking forward to spending time with me. Unfortunately, most of the time was spent either talking about what had happened with the brother and the transformation that never happened, or it was spent listening to Darren’s matches on the radio with my mother, Remus, David, Jocelyne and Benji and the twins. 

The family time was exactly what I needed to help me recover. Since Tibet and since I’d shown everyone what I’d been doing over there, they didn’t have much trouble in believing me about the brother and the fact that Lockwoods are technically werewolves already, just not quite werewolves as we knew them. Once again, Benji was the only one who found it a little more difficult to handle and once again.

‘Where’s Clara these days?’ I asked Remus, one evening as he helped me into bed a little early. I was getting tired talking to everyone in the kitchen, I wasn’t quite at full strength yet and most things were still taking a toll. 

‘I’m not sure.’ Remus shook his head. ‘I’ve not actually heard from her in a while, but the last time I saw her, she was busy with work and trying to stay out of the limelight. Not an easy task with your brother being England’s biggest star right now, I’m sure you can imagine.’

‘I suppose.’ I wasn’t sure I was entirely convinced, but then I was still in recovery. ‘Thank you for helping me.’

‘You never need to thank me, you know that.’ Remus smiled and sat on the edge of my bed. He took a breath and brushed my hair away from my face, though I was sure none of it was out of place and he just wanted an excuse. ‘You have no idea how relieved I am that you’re alive. I don’t know what I would have done without you.’

‘You would have been okay-‘

‘No,’ Remus stopped me. ‘No, you don’t understand, Angelina, within the space of a month, I lost everything. I lost my job, I lost my home and I was losing you. I don’t have anything else.’

I frowned. ‘You have the cottage.’

A smile finally appeared on his face for the first time that day. ‘Yes, but it wouldn’t have felt right to live there without you. The cottage was your dream, not mine. I honestly… I never cared where we lived, I just knew that if I had you, everything would as it should have been, and I would have been happy… I suppose I missed my chance.’ Something stopped me from denying it. Remus nodded, knowing that once again we were in a position where it could have been the end. 

‘Remus-‘

‘It’s fine.’ He interrupted and tried to make me think he was okay. ‘I understand completely. I don’t know if I honestly thought we could be what we were before, I had hoped, but this is probably better… as long as you’re happy and healthy, then that’s what really matters.’

I shook my head. ‘I don’t know what’s in the future, all I know is what I have right now is pretty great. I have my family, I have my friends and I’m happy with that. You and I… there’s work to be done. That’s all I really know.’

Remus nodded and again tried to smile and make me think everything was okay. 

‘Do you still have the picture?’ I asked and watched his smile become a little more genuine. Remus reached into his trouser pocket and pulled out the picture of the cottage, he let it sit propped up against a mug on the table next to my bed. ‘It’s beautiful.’ I whispered.

‘It is.’ Remus chuckled. 

‘How long did it take you to find?’

‘A while.’ Remus laughed and ran his hand through his hair. ‘But when I saw it, I knew it was the one.’

‘Despite not being an open plan.’ 

It was nice to see him laugh for a while. ‘It was just a thought.’

‘It sounds nice.’

Remus swallowed nervously for a moment. ‘Is it too soon to ask if you still want to live there… with me?’

I thought for a moment, but the thought of living with Remus or doing anything more than what we already were doing, was still making me a little angry. ‘It’s too soon.’ I confirmed and watch him nod a little sadly. 

‘Okay.’ He said. ‘I’d best go, I’m sure my father will be wondering where I am,’ I chuckled at that bit. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow?’ I nodded and Remus looked as if he was about to lean down and kiss me, but decided against it. ‘Goodnight Angelina.’ 

I let that flare of anger fill me up a little more, why wouldn’t he kiss me? Nothing has stopped him before and I could have died. That picture and the dream of the cottage was the only thing that made me fight so hard for my life, Remus had no right to leave without kissing me. 

A part of me knew that it was ridiculous to get upset about it, he was walking on thin ice constantly, but the more immature part of me wished he’d just kiss me like he used to and behave the way he used to behave around me. I just wanted things to go back to the way they were. That’s why Jack sent me back… wasn’t it?

A week later I woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed and physically capable. My father had taken my mother into Diagon Alley for lunch, they were adorable and held hands as they wandered up the path. After all these years together and their love never faltered or faded. They were beautiful. 

Remus had been limiting his visits, trying to let me recover alone, but the problem was I was still angry that he wouldn’t kiss me, I wasn’t sure why, but I knew there would come a point where I would just ask him to do it. 

England had made it to the semi finals and we were all going to see Darren play that night, my father was a little worried that I wouldn’t be able to make the trip, but was satisfied that I would let him know if I was wearing down. Darren had made sure we got a box so that I at least had a seat if I did get tired. I’d put off telling him about the fight with the brother in the place between life and death, I thought it would distract him from the competition and he’d already been through enough. 

‘Good morning.’ Remus’s warm voice floated through the kitchen, I’d really only just made it out of bed before my parents left and I could see the faint blush on Remus’s cheeks as he noticed my bare legs. In my defence, I was sure this was a day he wouldn’t visit, so I didn’t think it that big a deal to wander around in just his old grey t-shirt. 

‘Good morning.’ I said, politely. ‘I’m just making some breakfast.’

‘It’s midday.’ Remus frowned, a little amused. 

‘I only got up half an hour ago. Dad’s taken mum into town for lunch.’ I explained, moving my messy hair to the other side of my head so that I could see Remus better. I felt the warmth of his attraction to me the second my neck was exposed to him. The problem was that with everything that had happened, I was having trouble controlling what I could block out and the struggle was particularly difficult with Remus. 

‘I can make some tea if you like?’ Remus tore his gaze away from my legs long enough to speak and the warm fog began lifting. 

‘Sure.’ I knew my voice cracked, I absolutely knew it did, but he ignored it and began making tea in silence. 

It was a little awkward and occasionally I’d feel him watching me and that warmth would spread through my limbs and into my core. If he really felt that way, why didn’t he just tell me? Why didn’t he just do something? Anything? 

I gave him a quick smile as I spread the toast I was making with some jam and handed him a plate. 

‘Thank you.’ He smiled and for just a moment, his fingers brushed my hand. The warmth was not longer warm, it was hot and it was making me feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time. We sat and ate quietly, I didn’t bother putting the radio on, so the only sound was of us eating toast and drinking tea. But I could feel him, I could feel him thinking about me and I could feel how much he wanted to kiss me.

‘You’re an idiot.’ I said quietly. Remus just looked up at me and smiled nodding.

‘It’s been documented.’ He said. ‘Though I feel as if you’re not talking about any past infractions.’

‘No.’ I couldn’t look him in the eye, if I did, I would break and Remus Lupin was not going to break me in that way. I was in full control. 

‘May I ask what has made you say it this time?’

I rolled my eyes, not exactly finding any of this funny and got rid of my empty plate and mug. 

‘I need to take a shower.’ I said and immediately I felt the desire coursing through him. 

‘Okay.’ He swallowed, he sounded so normal, like his mind wasn’t filled with images of previous showers we’d had together, like he wasn’t staring at the very bottom of where my t-shirt hung revealing the very top of my thighs. I could feel it dripping from him.

‘That’s why.’ I said quietly.

‘Angelina?’ 

I turned to face him and folded my arms. I finally looked him in the eye and for a moment I wasn’t in control, it was just for a second, but it was long enough to convince myself that I needed this.

Remus was taken by surprise at first, he wasn’t expecting me to take two strides across the kitchen and kiss him with all the intensity I felt radiating from him. His lips were soft and still tasted like jam. His hands came up to my waist and he contemplated pushing me away, but stopped as my tongue began exploring his mouth and twisting with his, dragging my teeth along his full lip. Remus let out a deep groan and happily let me swing my leg over his so that I was straddling him comfortably.

I could already feel his excitement beneath me and I made a point to grind against him, just enough to force another deep groan from his chest. I needed to feel his skin and began unbuttoning his shirt, he didn’t stop me, his hands dropped to my thighs and massaged the flesh, pulling me closer, making me grind a little harder against him.

Finally, his shirt was open and I let my hands take in every part of his body I could reach, his hard stomach, the bumps of his muscles, the softness of his scars. I needed to touch him, to feel his warmth against my skin once more. Remus let his hands drift higher up my thighs and found my hips underneath my t-shirt, caressing the bone and rubbing his thumbs just inside. He was hesitant to encourage my movements at first, but I couldn’t let this go. I placed my hand on top of his and showed him what I wanted him to do, the movement that was giving me the most pleasure; I needed this so badly.

I didn’t waste anymore time, I needed more than just a little grinding, I needed him to fill me up the way he used to, to make me feel things I hadn’t felt in years. My fingers began working on his belt and trousers, anything to get him closer to me, anything to feel him sliding inside me again. 

Remus was soon as urgent as I was and helped me push his trousers down enough that I could finally feel him nudging my centre. I lifted myself just high enough to line him up with me, Remus placing one hand underneath my thigh, the other splayed out halfway up my back to guide me gently, and I looked down into his deep dark eyes, not breaking until he was all the way inside me. For a moment, we just took each other in, we just felt each other, breathed with each other and savoured the feel of one another. But soon it wasn’t enough, I needed him to let me move against him. 

I steadied myself using his shoulders, my fingers in his soft hair, lifting myself up just a little before sliding back down, I felt my head instinctively fall back with the intensity of the sensation and that was Remus’s cue to kiss my neck and growl with approval. I continued to move on top of him, trying to find the right friction, his lips dragged over my throat and his hands only encouraged my movement, until finally I was close.

Remus growled heavily into my skin and I knew that if I just kept up the pace, he’d be falling over the edge with me. I could hear his breath getting more and more ragged, his movements more frantic and desperate. 

‘Remus.’ I panted and felt him groaning my name into my neck as we both fell together. I could feel him pushing himself as deep into me as he could, and it only furthered my own release. 

I could feel his breath beginning to even out and I couldn’t stay in that position above him for much longer. I started to get up, feeling my legs were weak and a little shaky, but I needed to take a shower and think for a while.

I didn’t say anything before heading upstairs, I didn’t really have anything to say at that moment, I just left Remus where he was and headed for the bathroom. The hot water was exactly what I needed to clear my head, it wasn’t exactly the way I’d imagined being with Remus again, it was messy and desperate and filled with need rather than want. It didn’t make anything clearer, if anything it only confused things even more. 

I stayed in the shower a lot longer than I intended, taking my time washing my hair, ensuring that every part of my body was clean and then still standing under the water for just a little longer. 

It was getting ridiculous and soon I needed to get out. I slowly wrapped the towel around myself and wandered into my bedroom to find fresh clothes. I heard his footsteps before I felt his presence at my bedroom door, when I turned to put my jeans on the bed, I saw him leaning against the door frame, looking a little uncertain of himself.

‘Are we going to talk about what we just did?’ He asked.

‘No.’ I shook my head. ‘No, I don’t think I’m ready to do that just yet.’

Remus sighed and I began searching for a t-shirt, again taking a little longer than usual. 

‘I really think something should be said.’ He pushed.

‘Like what?’

‘Like… like maybe how you feel right now?’ Just the suggestion made me more annoyed than I should have been. ‘Angelina-‘

‘Unsatisfied.’ I suddenly said and turned around to look at him. I hated the hurt expression on his face. ‘I feel unsatisfied. I got what I wanted, but it…’

‘It wasn’t enough.’ Remus finished my sentence and nodded. ‘Do you think that-‘

‘I really don’t want to talk about it right now.’ I said firmly and again Remus just sighed and nodded, I could feel his shame and guilt crashing into each other, and all I could think was it was incredibly annoying. ‘I need to get dressed.’ I hinted. 

‘You can’t seriously tell me-‘ Remus stopped himself speaking and quickly changed his approach. ‘We just had sex Angelina, it’s not normal to feel ashamed afterwards… I’ll leave now, but we need to talk about this, it’s not healthy to leave so many things unsaid.’ 

Remus eventually left my room and after a moment I heard the faint popping of him apparating away from the house. I knew he was right, he was always right when it came to this kind of thing. 

It suddenly hit me that this thing we were trying to fix was a two way street, he’d hurt me, yes, but now I was hurting him, I was ignoring him, getting annoyed with him and as much as I wanted him to forgive himself for what he did, I needed to figure out if I could forgive him as well.


	8. The Long Road To Recovery Starts With Lunch

The stadium was busy and filled with witches and wizards all bumping into each other, trying to get to their seats. My father had made sure that I brought a scarf as well as my long black coat, knowing that the England team tended to play a longer game and the opposition found it difficult to keep up. 

My parents and I entered into the stadium box seats where there was a lot of very high-ranking officials present. There were also a few rich pure blood families at the event, all of them as unbearable as each other. My father said that the only decent pure blood family were the Weasleys and they weren’t usually in a good financial position to come to a lot of these events. I felt bad for them, but then from what I heard, they were never usually seen in bad spirits, so maybe I was wasting my pity on them. 

It really only occurred to me at that moment, when Lucius Malfoy looked across from his box and smirked; I was a pure blood. In fact, Lockwoods were probably the oldest wizarding family in existence. Three thousand years. I wondered how far back the Malfoys went, or the Blacks, or even the Weasleys.

‘George.’ Lucius drawled, we’d only just sat down and he decided to make his presence known. He was taller than my father, but somehow still didn’t have the command of space my father had. He stood up and shook Malfoy’s hand politely. ‘How nice to see you.’

‘Lucius.’ My dad was struggling to stay polite. ‘You’ve met my wife, Adrianna.’ My mother stood up and shook his hand politely as well.

‘We’ve met briefly at the ministry.’ Lucius had a greasy smile that made me take an instant dislike to him. ‘And this must be Lockwood, the younger.’

‘Angie, how do you do.’ I wasn’t exactly sure of what took over my body at that moment, but whatever confidence possessed me, made me stand up and shake Malfoy’s hand in one swift movement. I could suddenly feel everything I needed to know about him. It was a heavy darkness, one that felt strangely familiar, one that I had chased before. Karkaroff. Malfoy was a Death Eater, he had to be.

‘I hear you were recently hospitalised,’ I could see him trying to recover from how startled he’d been at my sudden movement. ‘I do hope it was nothing serious.’

‘Lionfish bite.’ I lied, smoothly. ‘Deadly in high doses, but luckily this was just a baby. Who knew research could be so risky.’

‘I thought it was werewolves you study?’ I wasn’t keen on the accusatory tone he took on. 

‘I do, but realistically speaking, I still have twenty-nine other days of the month to occupy myself with other things, like Lionfish or doing odd jobs for the minister-‘

‘With the minister himself? Your parents must be very proud. Such an achievement for one so young.’

‘Well, we’ll see who they’re more proud of when Darren wins the World Cup. Anyway, don’t let me keep you.’ 

He seemed a little taken back by my lack of resistance to conversation with him, but I’d learned from past mistakes that it was usually better to play nice until you were sure you had the upper hand. 

Malfoy said a polite goodbye and my parents just gave each other a slightly amused look before we all sat down again to watch the semi final between England and Spain. If England won, they’d face either Bulgaria or Ireland in the final, Ireland being the more desirable of the two. 

My parents chatted away about taking a trip somewhere, my mother being a little worried about leaving me on my own, but I encouraged them to get away for a while and get some distance from all the stress of the past few years. I wasn’t a child anymore, I didn’t need a babysitter.

‘When’s the last time you both had a decent holiday?’ I reasoned and my father couldn’t help but laugh.

‘I suppose you’re right.’ I loved the way they looked at each other, with nothing but love in their eyes and it partly filled me with joy and partly with sadness. Remus and I were supposed to be like that. 

My parents held hands through the opening ceremony and it was sweet to see Darren darting out of the locker rooms on his broom and flying over to wink at the two of them. I cheered loudly for my brother and he just laughed, re-joining his team for their aerial display before the start of the match.

Remus was in a daze, he’d made sure his father was comfortable in his chair before making himself a cup of tea and sitting in his usual spot on the old sofa, far too old to still be in use. He momentarily thought about getting his father a new one, but he wasn’t sure if he’d appreciate it or not. 

They listened to the radio to the semi final and every time Darren Lockwood’s name was mentioned, Remus felt a pang in his heart. He’d missed the feel of Angelina’s body against his for so long, but now that he’d felt it again, he realised how unsatisfied he felt as well. 

He played the whole thing out in his mind, over and over again, he tried to resist at first, knowing that this wasn’t going to fix anything, but soon he didn’t care and realised how desperate he’d been to really kiss her again, to touch her soft, warm skin, to listen to her soft sighs as he reached inside her, steadying her so that she could take what she needed from him. Remus tried so hard to forget how empty and drained he felt afterwards. The feel of her tightening around him and panting his name was all he needed to follow her over the edge. But when it was over, he expected her to say something, anything that would have told him she was okay, that this was right, but she didn’t say anything. She just walked away and spent a suspiciously long time in the shower.

He contemplated leaving the house to return home, but he needed to try and do something to make this all seem okay. Angelina was so beautiful, even coming out of the shower, her hair dripping over her shoulder, the one with the scars, even when she was upset and angry with him, she was still so beautiful. 

‘Remus?’ 

He was suddenly snapped from his thoughts to his father calling him. 

‘England just scored,’ he said. ‘Even if Spain catch the snitch it won’t be enough. I thought you’d be a little happier about that.’

‘Oh yes,’ Remus tried for a smile. ‘That’s great news. Shall we find out what’s happening in the other game?’ Remus didn’t wait for his father’s reply, he just leaned over to the radio and switched to the Bulgaria Ireland game in which Ireland were currently in the lead with sixty points. 

He tried to ignore his father’s constant looks of concern, he really didn’t want to explain his problems with his relationship with Angelina to him. On occasion he would open the conversation up to talking about her, but Remus would usually just put the conversation to rest as soon as it came up. 

He was glad that England were through to the finals and admittedly he was glad that Angelina got what she needed from him and was probably celebrating with her brother, he just didn’t know what to do with any of it.

The whole team was exhausted, but not enough to stop them partying in the locker rooms. James and Darren were leading the charge with the other fourteen players and everyone was cheering and singing loudly. My brother looked so happy that they won, he managed to rack up a considerable number of points with James a distant second. I wondered how much Darren really needed this, after everything that happened the year before with Azkaban and everyone in the papers doubting him, he needed a good run.

My father had been concerned that I was more tired than I was letting on, but I wanted to spend time with Darren while I could and he promised he’d send me back home the second I looked a bit weary.

‘You know they’re just worried.’ He said as we sat down in the empty stadium. It was late into the night and no one was sleeping, echoes of cheering could be heard beyond the walls and it was nice, it was just like the old days. Darren looked physically drained, his messy dark hair was slicked back and he sat in his tight, white training vest and playing trousers and looked as fit as he’d ever been in his life. This was Darren as I always remembered him from school, he handed me a butterbeer and a chocolate frog smiling. ‘I always have one after a game. I sit and I think on how we used to get in trouble with mum and dad when we were kids.’

‘The good old days.’ I laughed and opened up the frog. ‘It sounds weird to say, but I miss the shouting.’

Darren let out a bark like laugh and it only made me do the same thing. ‘Seriously? You miss having dad yell at you for not being responsible, or “you’re adults now, you should know better”.’ I couldn’t deny, his impression of my father was spot on.

‘Well, sometimes it was a bit harsh,’ I shrugged. ‘But they don’t really yell anymore. Now they’re just so sad all the time… feels like things are falling apart a bit, you know?’

Darren took a breath and nodded. ‘Yeah, I know what you mean.’ He took a swig of butterbeer and we both gazed up at the impressive stadium. ‘I have to say Angie, I was really messed up for a while there,’ I frowned. ‘When you were in Tibet, Remus was the only one who still really believed you were alive. I know he doubted things in moments, but on the whole, he kept his faith in you… I just wanted to make sure dad wasn’t getting into trouble he couldn’t get out of.’ 

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘You don’t need to apologise, I just want you to know that I’ll never lose my faith in you again, especially not after what happened last month.’ Darren could see me shifting uncomfortably. 

‘I should tell you some things about that.’ I confessed and took a breath working out where to start. 

I went through everything I could remember, everything from visualising the cottage, the memory of scratching out the venom from my wound, seeing Jack again, fighting with the brother, my body feeling like it was on fire and then waking up with Remus being my only thought. Darren listened intently, his dark blue eyes occasionally shifting away from mine as I explained some of the more difficult parts to hear. When I finally finished, he just looked out into the abyss of the night sky, taking in everything before speaking.

‘So, you think we were what she was trying to create?’ 

‘It’s an insane theory, but… technically it’s possible if you’re a bit limber with some magical laws.’ I reasoned, still not exactly sure of the details. ‘I mean, the whole idea that we have three thousand year old souls stuck inside us is insane and like I said before, it bends magic in ways we’ve always been told that it can’t bend and yet…’

‘Here we are.’ Darren finished the sentence. ‘And that thing you fought? You think that might be what the brother really looks like?’

‘I think so.’ I nodded. ‘It didn’t look human, it looked like it was in pain, I remember feeling its bones break, but nothing happened, it didn’t even slow down.’ I sighed and we sat in silence for a few minutes. ‘I think the sooner we get these things out of us the better.’

‘You still think it’s possible?’ Darren half laughed.

‘I do.’ I nodded again. ‘Darren, I really do think we have a chance, we just have to stay calm, be brave and remember who we are.’ My brother suddenly looked up at me, like I’d just told him the key to winning the final and it only occurred to me that he needed his faith to be reinforced as well. ‘As long as we remember the times we were Lockwoods, brave, smart, compassionate and the biggest pranksters around,’ at that pulled a laugh from him. ‘We have a chance.’ 

Darren nodded and stared down at his emptying bottle of butterbeer.

‘I think we find the best parts of ourselves in the people we love,’ I mused. ‘Like Remus and Clara.’ Darren shifted a little next to me and something was telling me to push it. ‘I haven’t seen Clara in ages, where is she?’

‘She had to work late tonight,’ Darren seemed a little more than annoyed, turning to reach another bottle and handing it to me. ‘She and Lyall have been at the office all night working on some registry stuff.’

I nodded, thinking that Darren had no reason to lie.

‘So, what’s going on with you and Remus?’ He suddenly asked and my heart began to drop. ‘That good, huh?’

I let out a deep breath. ‘We… I don’t know if there is a “we” anymore… we, erm, we were together today,’ I could feel my face flushing red, much to Darren’s amusement. ‘But it wasn’t like it used to be… it didn’t… satisfy.’ I shook my head and looked up to see Darren desperately trying not to laugh. ‘What? Oh don’t be like that!’

Darren suddenly erupted with laughter. ‘I’m sorry.’ He choked out. ‘I’m sorry Angie, I really am.’ He took a slightly stuttered breath calming himself down and I couldn’t help but smile. ‘It can’t be easy, given everything you guys have been through, I imagine you’ve both got a lot to get off your chest.’

‘That was just it,’ I shook my head. ‘I didn’t have anything I wanted to say. I just walked away.’

‘Really?’ Darren seemed a lot more surprised than I thought he would be. 

‘I don’t know, it was weird,’ I tried to explain. ‘Usually I can block people out, but with him its difficult, I can almost feel every thought he has… and I knew he wanted to kiss me, every time he looked at me I could feel it, but he never did anything about it. I just got a bit fed up.’

Darren nodded but didn’t seem to have any advice on the subject apart from what everyone else had been saying. ‘You need to sit down and talk to each other. You can’t let this stuff build up for too long, it’s not healthy. It’s going to be really hard and some parts of that conversation will be painful, but if you don’t at least try to make things right, then you don’t stand a chance… he bought that cottage, he wants to spend the rest of his life with you and I get that now it seems a bit impossible, but if you really want to be with each other, nothing’s going to get the way of that. Talk to him, Angie, yell if it’ll make you feel better, but don’t leave things unsaid to someone you love this much, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you do.’ 

I wondered if something had happened to make my brother understand that regret in a way I didn’t, but I didn’t push the subject, we were happy and tipsy and the night was coming to an end, I needed to get back home and he needed to prepare for the final in a few days’ time. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Remus was surprised to wake up to a letter from Angelina, but pleased all the same that she was able to talk to him, even if it was just inviting him to lunch. She needed to head into Diagon Alley to visit her shop and he agreed to meet her there.

Remus didn’t mind the summer, but he knew that Angelina enjoyed it more than any other season, she loved the warmth on her skin and she was beautiful in the light. He was a little nervous about walking through Diagon Alley, worried that he’d be recognised by ex-students or parents who disapproved of his existence, but all the worry seemed to melt away when he saw Angelina laughing at something Casper was saying to her. 

He missed how oblivious she could be to someone flirting with her, but that was exactly what Casper was doing and for some reason it didn’t get under Remus’s skin the way he thought it would. He knew that Angelina wasn’t really his anymore, but he also knew that she still loved in him some way and that was enough for him.

Angelina looked the way he remembered her when they were happy, her body was still a little on the thin side, but she wore her tight jeans well with her white t-shirt and red tartan shirt, all of it made her body look strong and desirable in every way. Her laugh was contagious and filled him with joy. 

Remus stepped into the shop, nodding politely to a few customers as he edged his way over to the desk.

‘Professor Lupin?!’ Casper exclaimed and made his way around the desk to greet his old teacher, but Remus was more interested in Angelina’s faint smile as she looked at him. 

‘Casper. Please, call me Remus, I’m no longer your teacher.’ Remus smiled and shook the young man’s hand. ‘No longer anyone’s teacher, in fact.’ Remus added with a hint of sadness.

‘Yeah, I heard about what happened,’ Casper nodded. ‘I suppose resigning was the most peaceful resolution.’

‘Unfortunately, yes.’

‘Well, I’m sure something else will come up.’ It was the one thing Remus truly admired about the young man, he was always full of optimism. ‘Anyway, what brings you to Lockwood’s?’

‘Actually, he’s taking me to lunch.’ Angelina spoke up and a wonderfully natural smile appeared on her face. He’d take her anywhere she wanted go if she smiled at him like that, Casper took a moment to catch on. 

‘Right… oh right… you two are…?’ Casper gestured awkwardly between Remus and Angelina, much to their amusement. ‘I see… how… how long have you…?’ Casper’s face began turning a furious shade of pink.

‘A while.’ Remus said, cryptically. ‘Though, I feel we’ve been a little… out of sync, recently.’

‘I feel the same way.’ Angelina gently bit her lip and Remus had the distinct impression that the woman he fell in love with was coming back into his life with a renewed attitude towards him. 

‘Angie?’ A voice called from the level above them. Remus looked up to see Alfred smiling down at him. ‘Remus, how are you, old boy?’

‘Not bad, Alfred. And yourself?’ Remus half laughed.

‘Oh, terrible!’ He said dramatically. ‘My boss drives me mad, she’s so demanding on a poor old man-‘

‘Hey!’ Angelina laughed. 

Alfred just sniggered. ‘Don’t forget your potion Angie, Alice has just finished brewing it downstairs.’

‘Thanks Alfred, now get back to work.’ She added playfully and the older werewolf laughed returning to whatever he’d been doing on the floor above. 

Remus gave her a quizzical frown, concerned about what potion she was taking.

‘I was drinking with Darren last night.’ She rolled her eyes and shook her head. ‘My head is pounding. I’ll be back in a minute.’

Angelina disappeared down the stairs at the back of the shop, leaving Casper and Remus standing alone and in silence.

‘Well, this is a bit awkward.’ Casper suddenly said, chuckling. ‘Sorry, Profess- erm, Remus, I didn’t realise that… that you two…’

‘It’s fine, Casper.’ Remus shook his head, highly amused. ‘Admittedly we’ve not been at our best the last few years, so I’m not surprised-‘

‘Years?!’ He suddenly exclaimed. ‘Sorry, that… that wasn’t appropriate. I just meant that… that… that’s pretty serious then.’ Remus could see him mentally scolding himself.

‘I’m afraid so.’

‘I think I’m just going to shut up now and stop prying into my ex-professor’s personal life.’ Remus had to laugh as Casper’s face flooded red and he went back behind the desk.

‘It’s alright to be curious, Casper,’ Remus chuckled. ‘But to change the subject slightly, tell me about working here, I thought you wanted to be a Healer?’

‘I did.’ Casper sighed. ‘But I didn’t make the cut, they make you take these tests before you start and I failed a couple of them.’

‘I’m very sorry to hear that,’ Remus felt a genuine sadness for Casper, he’d always worked hard in school and strived for more. ‘Is there no chance you could apply again?’

‘Yeah, I did think about that,’ Casper confessed, leaning on the counter. ‘But I think I can do more good here. Angie’s a really great boss and Alfred and Alice are such nice people and I’m good at this, so I figure, if I really want to help the werewolf community, maybe this is the best place for me, you know?’

‘I think that’s incredibly wise.’ Remus nodded, a new sense of pride washing over him. ‘Does it make you happy?’

Casper took half a moment to think, before he smiled. ‘Yeah, yeah I think it does.’

‘Good. I was always very proud of you,’ Remus tried to give him a little encouragement, reminding achingly of the days he would help students with any problems they had. ‘You were always filled with positivity and you worked harder than most other students.’

‘Thanks, you know that means a lot coming from you. You were always my favourite teacher… which makes it even more awkward that you caught me flirting with your girlfriend.’ Casper tried to laugh it off, but it was clear he was still scolding himself for it.

‘Believe me, it’s not something I’d worry about.’ 

There was a short, but very uncomfortable silence between the two men and much to their relief, Angelina could be heard jogging back up the stairs.

‘I’ll get it sorted for next week, Alice.’ She called back, there was a mumble of a reply, but Remus couldn’t really make out what Alice had shouted back. ‘Okay.’ She laughed and shook her head.

‘Feeling better?’ Remus asked as she casually wandered over to him. He could feel her taking in everything about him for a split second before nodding.

‘Much.’ She said and again gently bit her lip. Remus took a small risk and brought his hand to run down her arm, gently stroking the back of her hand with his thumb and watching her intently for a moment. Maybe there was hope after wall. ‘Come on, let’s get out of here.’

Somehow Remus had managed to keep her carefully tucked under his arm while they walked through Diagon Alley, he was still nervous about people recognising him, but with Angelina next to him, the worry didn’t seem so bad. They talked idly about Darren’s game and how the shop was doing, she was very proud to tell him about how amazingly organised they’d become since taking on Casper.

‘Casper is a very bright young man.’ Remus agreed as they sat down in the corner of the Leaky Cauldron, away from prying eyes and ears. ‘I think he’s become very taken with you.’ Angelina frowned and it only made Remus giggle with laughter.

‘Why are you laughing?’ She chuckled.

Remus took a breath. ‘Because I’ve missed you. I’ve missed how oblivious you are to things like that.’ He smiled over at her and watched as her mind began racing through everything. 

‘I’ve been oblivious to a lot of things.’ Angelina leaned on the palm of her hand and watched Remus with a new intensity. ‘I think it’s important that I apologise to you, there’s so much I wish I could take back, moments I wish I’d made a different choice or been a bit smarter. Maybe if I’d just said something or done something, forgiven myself for the mistakes I’ve made, or forgiven others who deserved a second chance… maybe we wouldn’t be here, we’d be somewhere else… maybe we’d be happy.’

‘Angelina-‘

‘I was in Dumbledore’s office,’ she interrupted, clearly something else was plaguing her. ‘Trying to figure out the damn password,’ she half laughed through her building tears. ‘That’s another thing I should have known, I should have been smarter to figure that out, it seems so obvious now. Reykjavik was so important to me, it was the first time I felt brave with you, the first time I felt like I might have deserved a chance at being happy.’

‘You do deserve happiness.’ Remus couldn’t let her cry so willingly over this. ‘Is that what yesterday was about? Because you don’t think you deserve to be happy?’

Angelina half laughed and shook her head. ‘No…’ she suddenly couldn’t look at Remus any longer and let her gaze drop to the table. ‘No, yesterday was… I just needed to… to feel again.’

Remus gently took her hand in his, hoping she would feel that he was only trying to help her. ‘I understand the position you must feel you’re in,’ he said slowly. ‘But if you let your frustration build up, then you might not find the satisfaction you’re looking for.’ 

He could tell that this was still a subject she wasn’t comfortable talking about, Angelina was a confident physical being, but she wasn’t a confident sexual being. Remus never minded and he never held it against her for any reason, it was just something else he could love about her. 

‘I think it…’ Angelina cleared her throat, still unable to look at him properly without a blush creeping over her cheeks. ‘It might not be… physical… what I need, I mean.’ She fidgeted uncomfortably before once again letting the frustration get the better of her. ‘God! Why is this so hard to talk about with you? It used to just be that I didn’t know what to say, but now…’

‘You’re putting yourself out there,’ Remus tried to calm her down. ‘You’re making yourself vulnerable again and given our recent history, you’re finding it hard to trust that I won’t hurt you again.’ She nodded and seemed to let go of her frustration in one breath. ‘That’s completely natural and I do understand, but you need to try and see that I’m trying to make good on a second chance with you.’

Angelina took a long while to think on Remus’s words, they ate in silence for a while before she looked as though she was coming to some conclusion. Remus tried to stay patient and let her form her words on her own, without him intruding or putting the wrong words in her mouth. He loved it, he loved how much it reminded him of the early days of their relationship when she struggled to figure things out, it reminded him of how unique she was.

‘Do you really want to be with me?’ Angelina asked, Remus was about to answer, outraged that she would ask such a thing given all the time they’ve spent together. ‘It’s just that I’m not an easy person to be with, let alone love or anything else. And I still haven’t figured out how to get rid of what’s inside me, I know that it won’t be easy to be around me while I’m working that out. I just have to be sure that… I just don’t want to go through the last year all over again. I don’t think I could survive it twice.’ It was painfully honest and Remus took a deep breath, considering his words carefully.

‘I am in love with you,’ he said, her eyes snapped up to his. ‘I am deeply in love with you and I’m afraid there’s no ignoring that. Angelina, no one said that any of this was going to be easy, in fact I’m almost certain many people said it would be very difficult for many reasons, but I never remember a moment that has gone by where I haven’t wanted you.’ Remus sighed and hoped she understood him clearly enough. ‘I can’t make you believe me, I can’t even prove that I won’t hurt you again, whether emotionally or… otherwise, but I want you to try and see that I have no intention of letting you down again. You are the most important person in my life and I’m not going to make the mistake of throwing that away again.’

Angelina again didn’t say anything for a while, she just watched him, her beautifully deep eyes darkening every so often.

‘Will you do something for me?’ She suddenly asked.

‘Anything.’

‘I can… feel, what you want…’ She saw his slight frown and thought how best to explain. ‘You remember I told you about dark trails?’

‘Yes.’ Remus said slowly, unsure of where this was going. 

‘Well, it’s not just dark magic I can feel now, I can block out pretty much everything if I want, I’m getting better at it anyway… the one thing I can’t really block out… is you.’ She smiled. ‘I just want you to know that even though I’m oblivious to when people are flirting with me, I know when you’re thinking about me,’ Remus felt his cheeks warm up a little. ‘I think the real reason for what happened yesterday was that I was frustrated with feeling that without anything actually happening.’ 

Remus let himself smile and shift nervously. ‘I see.’ He said, realising how funny it really was. ‘Well, if that’s something I can do to make you a little happier, then I’m sure I could happily oblige.’ 

It was good to see her laugh again. Remus was well aware that they had more to talk about, more to put to rest and more to work on, but he felt confident that they would get there in the end and that was all he ever really wanted.

They ventured out of the Leaky Cauldron and wandered back down Diagon Alley, mostly chatting about the World Cup and the Triwizard Tournament that was coming back to Hogwarts. Remus had wanted to be there to give guidance to the next champion, making his case that he’d helped Angelina to actually win the Cup, but last year’s events meant that it wasn’t going to happen.

‘Dumbledore wrote and asked me to make a speech at the feast,’ Angelina sighed, shaking her head. ‘What am I supposed to say?’

‘Well,’ Remus thought for a moment. ‘You could think about your own experiences during the Tournament and think about what you wish you’d known going into it? Maybe what you learnt coming out of it?’

‘I could.’ She nodded. ‘Except what I learnt coming out of the tournament, was that showing off and not taking it seriously works if you’re really lucky.’ 

Remus laughed at the thought, remembering the moments in the lake where she was playing up to the camera and got incredibly lucky that the Grindylows didn’t do more damage to her. 

‘Maybe don’t tell them to get lucky,’ Remus said. ‘Maybe tell them it was hard work and skill?’

‘Is that how teachers come up with their motivational speeches? They pass dumb luck off for skill?’

‘Pretty much.’ Remus admitted. ‘But it does work most of the time.’

They went into Flourish and Blotts and Angelina was especially beautiful in the dim light passing through the gaps in the shelves. She was flicking through a herbology book that Remus didn’t recognise, when she looked up, almost instinctively knowing that he was watching her. 

She laughed shaking her head, before he remembered his promise and wandered over to her. Remus took his time, making sure that she really wanted him to act on what he was thinking. He carefully brushed the hair away from her face and looked down at her womanly features, he noticed that she looked a little older than the last time he really looked at her face, like she’d matured into something much more desirable than he’d ever remembered her being. How was that even possible?

Remus slowly leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, she tasted like coffee from her lunch, her lips were soft, but a little hesitant. Remus didn’t push the kiss, he pulled back just enough that he could still graze her mouth and listened to the quiet sigh that came as a result. 

‘That’s not what you were thinking.’ Angelina said and Remus had to laugh.

‘No,’ he admitted. ‘But anything more than that and we may get thrown out.’ 

Remus loved that he made her giggle for a while. They eventually left Flourish and Blotts, Angelina with her book tucked under her arm and Remus had an idea that he was partly reluctant to share.

‘Would you…’ Remus lost his nerve for a moment. ‘Maybe it’s too soon, but would you like to see… the cottage?’ 

Angelina stopped in the middle of the street and Remus had a very bad feeling as he turned to face her. He couldn’t really tell what she was thinking, she just had an intense stare that pierced his.

‘Okay.’ She nodded quietly. 

Remus nodded and they continued to wander down the street in silence to a place where they could apparate.


	9. Compromise Is A Four Letter Word

The first thing that caught my attention was the smell of the silver fir trees, it was so fresh and invading my lungs in a welcoming way. The second thing that caught my attention was the way Remus suddenly grew more nervous than I think I’d ever seen him, his eyes were darting all over my face, trying to work out what I was thinking and trying not to push me for an answer straight away. 

His hand was still gently holding mine, but soon he let go, looked behind me, presumably where the house sat and moved to the side so that I could take in the breath-taking view of the lake. Remus had been right, the mountains were a stunning sight in the distance, there wasn’t a single cloud above me and the light blue of the sky faded into the white of the mountains, the sun was drifting high in the sky, but soon would descend behind them and without a doubt, I knew it would be beautiful. 

The lake itself was incredibly calm and bigger than I thought it would be, there was a small wooden dock that looked like it needed a little repairing, it protruded into the lake and I suspected there were some interesting plants growing around the wood submerged in the water. Beyond the lake and in front of the mountains was what looked to be vast expansive fields, there was just so much space to breathe and think.

‘Angelina?’ Remus said, quietly so as not to disturb me too much. I turned around to see him standing at the end of the path that led towards a grey brick cottage, though it didn’t look much like a cottage and more like a house, similar in size to the one my parents had. 

I could see Remus was still a little uncertain, so I smiled and wandered over to him. The front garden was in need of some care, nothing that couldn’t be fixed up fairly quickly and nothing that I couldn’t imagine spending the time on. The path was just the same, a little rough and gravelly, it was straight and stopped in front a maroon door. 

Remus carefully pulled the keys from his pocket and opened the door, the act itself put something warm in my chest, it was just so domestic and it looked right. The whole place was empty, clearly he hadn’t wanted to do any decorating without me and it replaced the warmth with a slight ache. 

Every wall was either covered in old, off white wallpaper or the grey brick was exposed, the floor was a light wood and the fireplace didn’t take up too much room in the living room, it looked like it could have been cosy and warm, but it wasn’t there yet. The stairs that led up to the first floor were the same, a light wood and baron of much comfort.

The kitchen was walled off with an archway between it and the living room and I couldn’t help but feel Remus was right, an open plan might have worked better for the two rooms. It was a nice size and big enough to fit a table into it. The door to the back was midway between the kitchen and the dining room, with a large window staring out at the forest. 

Remus carefully opened the back door which was slightly weakened, pale grey stable door, it opened out to a wide space between the house and the forest, there was no real garden at the back, but it somehow suited the whole feel of the place. 

The upstairs was just as sparse, the master bedroom was beautifully placed at the front of the house with the majority of the light coming in on the west side. It looked as though where the window was placed, the light from the sunrise would enter as well and land in the spot that was the natural place for a bed to go. I was aware that the sunrise was a particularly favoured time for Remus as it signalled the end of a long night.

The other two rooms were much the same in size and faced the back of the house, looking out at the fir forest. Remus had been right about the loft, it was spacious enough that it could easily be converted into whatever we wanted to convert it to. 

Overall, it was perfect, it was exactly the kind of place that I could see myself growing old and living that happy life we’d always talked about. I was suddenly aware that I hadn’t actually said anything to Remus, who was nervously shifting in the archway to the kitchen. 

‘I think you’re right,’ I said, putting my book down as I leaned against the counter and watched a small frown appear on his face. ‘I think open plan would be better.’

It seemed that all the air was suddenly being let out of his lungs and relief appeared all over his body. 

‘So… you’re happy with it?’ Remus stepped a little further into the kitchen. I could feel the uncertainty in the air that was becoming default.

‘I think it’s exactly what I wanted when I imagined a life with you.’ I nodded.

‘It needs a little work,’ he said, bashfully. ‘But I think it could be right for us.’ 

I felt myself gently biting on my lip and the love began pouring from Remus again, he cleared his throat and looked just past me towards the forest.

‘Come with me.’ He walked out of the back door and I followed him out into the forest. ‘I want to show you something else.’

We walked for around half an hour, wandering deeper and deeper into the forest, there was so little light coming in through the trees, but there was enough that we could walk easily into a small clearing, there was something strange about it though. Remus stopped on the edge, I was a little suspicious of the nervousness and guilt that was surrounding him.

‘I’ve been thinking – a little more seriously now – about arrangements that need to be made.’ Remus said and took another breath, running his hand through his hair. ‘Angelina, I can’t put you at risk again, I just can’t. I thought seriously about once a month apparating as far away as I could and changing in some cage in the south of England, but I know that would upset you more than I think it should.’ Remus pulled his wand from his jacket pocket and waved it towards the middle of the clearing, lifting a concealment charm on a small shed like building. ‘This is my proposal, there’s a window in the roof that looks up through an open area of the canopy, it’s humane enough that it’s not a cage and it’s far away enough from the house to settle me. It’s as much compromise as I’m willing to make, I’m afraid.’

I took a deep breath and thought about it. This was a huge compromise as far as I was concerned, I didn’t actually expect him to change inside the house and he was right that I would be devastated if I knew he spent once a month inside a cage. Maybe this was the next best thing, the middle ground.

‘Okay.’ I nodded, still not quite happy with everything.

‘Angelina,’ Remus sighed. ‘This is the best-‘

‘I know.’ I interrupted. ‘I do know, I just… I’m still just processing everything.’ I said, honestly and Remus just let his breath go, nodding. ‘I told you that I needed to know if it was possible for you to forgive yourself for what happened, but I think I realise now that I need to forgive you as well.’ Remus seemed a little surprised at my statement. ‘As much as I hate to say it, I felt so ashamed… even just letting you look at me.’ I knew it was painful to say out loud, but I also knew that if I didn’t say what was on my mind, then there was no hope for us. ‘I need to forgive you, because it’s not fair to you… I can’t treat you this way and expect everything to be okay between us.’

‘Angelina-‘ I felt his heartache and it was killing me just to stand so close to it.

‘I’m not breaking up with you Remus.’ I stopped him. ‘I’m just saying that maybe picking up where we left off isn’t the best thing for us. We’re so different to who we were three years ago, I don’t know if all of it is for the better, but we’re different and we need to stop pretending like we’re not.’ 

For a moment, I thought I saw the whisper of a smile appear on his face. ‘I can’t believe how much you’ve grown, you’re so wise, Angelina and you don’t even know.’ He whispered. ‘Okay.’ Remus nodded. ‘What do you think we should do?’ 

‘Well, that’s your area of expertise,’ I smiled gently. ‘What do two people do when they don’t know each other anymore?’

‘They reacquaint themselves.’ Remus smiled back just as gently. ‘We can do that. I’ve got all the time in the world.’

‘Me too.’ I could feel his desire again and it was starting to frustrate me. ‘Will you just kiss me already?’ I let out an exasperated chuckle, to which Remus responded with a casual saunter towards me, smiling.

‘I want this to work, Angelina.’ Remus said, quietly. ‘I want us to be together and I truly believe that there is a way for that to happen.’ He brought his hand up to brush my cheek and I could feel his breath against my mouth, it was making me dizzy. ‘Long and happy.’ He whispered the promise against my lips, before pressing them gently into me. 

His other hand found my waist and I knew he felt my hesitation, loosening his grip on me. I wasn’t sure I was ready for him to feel my body in quite that much detail just yet. Remus slid his soft lips in the way he knew I loved, before dragging his teeth across my bottom lip and forcing a sigh out of my throat. He placed one more delicate kiss to my mouth before pulling back to see me. I could smell that refreshing scent of the silver fir trees and mixed with the scent of Remus, the tea and chocolate and parchment, it was enough to make me fall into him there and then.

‘We should go back.’ He whispered and despite my disappointment, I knew he was right.

Remus quickly put the concealment charm back up and with his fingers lightly pressing against the bottom of my spine, we wandered back through the forest to the house. I loved how refreshing and secluded the whole place felt. 

We talked a little about my Triwizard Tournament speech and the campaign speech I would be making in a week’s time and it felt good, it felt like the old days, when we used to talk about anything and everything so easily. He mentioned that his father was getting on a bit and he was worried about his health.

‘Yeah, I heard he and Clara have had to work late a few times.’ I nodded as we got to the outer edge of the forest and the house came back into view. 

Remus shrugged like it was no big deal. ‘He enjoyed the game last night though.’

‘Who did?’ I frowned and Remus led me a little closer to the lake.

‘My father, it’s become one of his obsessions, he can’t help but commentate whenever it’s on the radio,’ Remus half laughed. ‘Like yesterday when your brother scored from nearly half way across the pitch, my father was describing the action as if he were really at the game and it was happening in front of him.’ 

I laughed a little at the thought, but there was something capturing my attention in the back of my mind. ‘Your dad was at home last night?’

‘Yes, he came home from work early, I think the stress is starting to get to him a little.’ Remus confirmed.

‘I thought he and Clara had to work late last night, that’s why she wasn’t at the game. That’s what Darren said anyway.’

‘That is a little strange.’ Remus admitted, frowning out at the water. ‘But then again, with your brother carrying the weight of a nation and my father’s ill health, it’s understandable that she wouldn’t want anyone worrying about her. She’s always been the same, putting others before herself.’ I wasn’t sure I was convinced by Remus’s explanation. ‘You think something might have happened?’

‘I don’t know.’ I shook my head. ‘They were supposed to get married. Darren always wanted to get married in the autumn, he likes the colour of it.’

‘I’ll write to Clara tonight, if that will make you feel better?’ Remus offered and that question all on it’s own had me smiling again. ‘What is it?’

‘Just… I don’t know.’ I shook my head, biting my lip again. ‘Just you. You make me smile.’

‘If I didn’t know any better, I’d say I was making progress in getting back into your good books.’ Remus teased.

We ended up leaving the house before the sun set and Remus walked me back home. He kissed me at the end of garden path and it was only then that I realised I’d forgotten my book at the house.

‘Do you want me to go back for it?’ Remus asked, his thumbs brushing my cheeks.

‘It’s okay, it’s not urgent or anything. It’s a side project I’m working on.’ I looked up into his warm blue eyes and smiled. ‘Just go home and see your father,’ Remus chuckled. ‘Tell him I said hello.’

‘I’m sure he’d love that.’ Remus kept his smile and I couldn’t help but notice how young he looked when he smiled. ‘Goodnight Angelina.’

‘Goodnight Remus.’ 

Remus pressed a slightly more intense kiss to my lips and I felt that same love pouring out of him. I knew at that moment, we were going to be okay. We’d come through the worst and made it out pieces, but no matter how fractured we were, as long as we had each other, everything would fit back together again.


	10. World Cup Catastrophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The World Cup Final!!

In the days leading up to the World Cup final, Remus and Angelina had spent most of their days talking about everything that they needed to talk about. Most of it was hard for them both to say and hear and often would result in one of them either losing their temper or crying, but the one thing they promised not to do was walk away from the conversation. They couldn’t risk leaving each other out of anger, not again.

Remus had told her about how worn down he became when she was away in Tibet and how angry he’d become that she stopped writing, not realising how close to death she really was. Angelina explained how she learnt to sense other types of magic around her but be perfectly able to block it out or focus on one thing. It was clear that she almost hated that she now had this ability as it was a constant battle inside herself over the right and wrong of using it. If she so wished, she could walk into someone’s mind and root out every thought they’d ever had, but it would be an invasion of privacy and a moral crime she wasn’t willing to commit.

Remus was a little uncomfortable when he realised the extent of her ability, but incredibly proud when he realised how responsible she was trying to be with it. He tried to have patience and let her explain some of the more complicated aspects of her trip to Tibet, but he was struggling to understand most of it. 

It was difficult and the day of the final, Remus was slightly worried about Angelina, she seemed distracted, her speech at the rights campaign had gone well the day before and she was excited to see her brother in the match, but there was still something lingering in her mind.

‘You alright?’ Remus asked just as they were about to catch the Portkey close to the Burrow, they were waiting on Arthur and the Diggorys, Remus had begrudgingly agreed to go with her. He wasn’t that keen on going to such a public place where he was recognisable, though he was sure Angelina had a plan beyond him sitting as far away from people as possible.

‘Yeah, fine.’ She smiled, but it didn’t look quite as reassuring as she thought it did.

‘Are you sure? You seem distracted.’ Remus pushed a little. He tried to keep his voice low, aware that her parents were keeping an eye on them and knowing that they were still in a state of delicacy. 

Angelina took a breath and thought for a moment. ‘I just feel like something bad is about to happen.’ That caught Remus’s full attention. ‘You remember when the minister came to the house? I woke up and I could see it, well, not exactly see it, but I knew… I just, I can feel something happening. I didn’t sleep last night, I just kept waking up with this… feeling.’ It was clear to Remus now that she was in fact exhausted and exasperated.

‘Okay.’ He said and nodded, gently running his hand down her arm to calm her down a little. He’d learnt in the last week that she was unusually quick to frustration, but attributed it to her senses constantly being overwhelmed with the bombardment of her surroundings. ‘These types of events do tend to attract people with less than friendly intentions, does it feel like that?’

‘No.’ Angelina shook her head, she was sure. ‘I know what those people feel like, generally their intentions come with a sense of fear, probably that they’ll get caught. This felt more… I don’t know… just worse.’

‘Alright,’ Remus nodded, unsure of what he could do to make her feel better. ‘We’ll keep an eye out and if you feel at any point that something is about to happen, we’ll be ready. Okay?’

‘Okay.’ She breathed much more calmly than before, but Remus could still see an air of uncertainty. 

Remus made sure to keep her close as Arthur finally arrived, he was especially kind to Remus, having heard all about what happened at the school and thinking it a despicable act that Snape would out him without any thought for the consequences. As soon as Arthur said the word, Angelina grasped at her shoulder, causing Remus to immediately turn his attention to her.

‘I’m fine.’ She shook her head, but it was clear the newest wound was causing her pain. ‘Portkey will be leaving in a few minutes.’ It was enough to distract everyone else, but not Remus, he would bring her shoulder up again at another point. 

The whole campsite was buzzing, everyone in full pre-match swing, celebrating the event and cheering on the two final teams. Remus kept a closer eye on Harry, realising Angelina’s slight annoyance at him watching her so closely and deciding to turn his attention elsewhere for a while. 

‘Sorry, Miss Lockwood?’ Hermione caught up to Angelina who was just about in earshot behind Remus, he chuckled quietly at the discomfort she must have felt in being addressed in such a way.

‘It’s Angie.’ Angelina said immediately.

‘Angie,’ Hermione chuckled nervously. ‘It’s just that I don’t think we ever properly thanked you for what you did for us.’

‘You don’t need to.’

‘Well… I just want you to know that we’re sorry you got hurt and I hope you’re adjusting to every-‘

‘Adjusting to what?’ Remus knew that tone, she was getting a little defensive. ‘I felt out of a tree Hermione, nothing more than a scratch, I already told you that.’

‘Sorry… I just… I thought that…’ 

Remus decided it was time to step in. ‘Hermione,’ he turned to see Angelina suddenly letting go of her shoulder again. ‘Angelina appreciates your concern, she’s just a little too tired from the last week or so to express that properly.’ 

Hermione didn’t say anything, she just nodded and caught up with Harry and Ron, while Remus sighed walking beside Angelina.

‘You know, we did a lot of talking over this past week,’ Remus kept his voice to the absolute minimum. ‘But we never once went into any detail about that night.’

‘I know.’

‘Then you also know that the longer we leave it like that, the harder this will be to deal with properly.’ Remus tried not to lecture or treat her like a child, she knew full well that they couldn’t keep it up, but this wasn’t the time.

‘I know, I just can’t think about it right now.’ She sighed. ‘I’m just a little distracted.’

‘Okay.’ Remus nodded, giving up the argument altogether, it wasn’t worth pushing. ‘Well, let’s just enjoy the game. Just try to breathe and relax, I know this must be overwhelming for you.’

‘It is.’ Angelina sighed, taking in a much deeper breath. ‘More so than last time… don’t leave me. Just stay with me, no matter who we run into, just stay with me.’

‘Of course.’ Remus responded automatically, if it helped her in anyway, he’d ignore all of his own instincts and do as she asked of him. 

They continued to walk towards the stadium, the Weasleys and Diggorys left to head in the direction of their tents and the Lockwoods were left to make their own way towards the box seats. Harry was staying with Ron and Lily would be at the game a little later, she was still on shift, but wouldn’t miss her husband playing in the World Cup final for anything.

Remus had stayed close, but subtly avoiding getting too involved in conversation with anyone who came over to them. He had a strange feeling that some of the ministry officials were deliberately ignoring him, but not of their own accord. He looked at Angelina and could see there was a focus in her eyes; she was making sure they didn’t notice him. It only made Remus smile that she would go to such lengths to see that he was safe and able to enjoy the game.

‘Thank you.’ He whispered just as everyone else had found their seats. Remus strategically placed himself next to the wall of the box so that he was as out of sight as possible, while Angelina was cornered in by her parents and Lily when she finally turned up just before the game began. David, Jocelyne, Benji and the children filed in just as the whistle was about to blow.

‘For what?’ She frowned.

‘For making sure no one paid me too much attention.’ Remus had his slightly cheekier smile on which pleased her to no end. 

‘I don’t know you’re talking about.’ Angelina laughed, pretending like she wasn’t responsible for Remus actually having a good time, he knew she just wanted him to be happy for a while.

Remus laughed and nodded as the game finally began. They cheered on the England team, joined in the chants for James and Darren and reacted in every possible way that suited the events of the match. Remus had taken his turn with Jackson and Harper, keeping them occupied while their parents relaxed for a while. Angelina gladly did her bit in keeping them interested in the game and for a moment Remus felt his heart pull. She loved her godchildren and Remus remembered how much he hated himself for not being able to give her the simple pleasure of a family. 

He put it out of his mind in order to keep his promise of being happy, he couldn’t let her feel his sadness. Remus would catch Angelina on occasion getting distracted by the same thing that was bothering her before, but he remained silent and continued to be happy for her.

They watched as James made a pass to Darren, the crowd were on the edge of their seats as he darted in and out of the opposing players, using his strength to push past them towards the goal, where he scored without a shadow of doubt.

‘Darren looks like he’s been busy in the gym.’ Remus smiled, trying to get Angelina more interested in the match.

‘Yeah,’ she nodded, looking around at the rest of the occupants of the box around them. ‘He wanted to bulk up a bit before facing Bulgaria, try to match them physically. He said he didn’t want to put too much on and take away from his speed though.’

‘I think he found a good balance.’ Remus nodded in agreement, but she didn’t seem to be able to stay focussed on the match. ‘Angelina, are you alright?’

‘What?’ She suddenly snapped her gaze to Remus. Her bright blue eyes were even brighter as the pupil was the smallest Remus had ever seen it.

‘Angelina, what’s wrong?’ Remus wasn’t messing around anymore, something was wrong and her desire to keep him in the dark and happy was no longer a satisfactory excuse. He held her shoulders and made sure she wasn’t lying. ‘Tell me what you can feel.’ He demanded.

‘I can feel a Death Eater.’ Angelina breathed in horror. Remus felt his heart sink, he knew that there were still Death Eaters around since the end of the war, Angelina would have been able to feel them as well as dark trails, so it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise that they were lurking around the World Cup, but this was different. 

Angelina was never usually spooked for no reason, this had to be a real threat. His first instinct was to get her as far away from the stadium as possible-

‘Well, you know full well that’s not going to happen.’ She snapped, interrupting his thoughts. Why was he even surprised that she knew what he was thinking? ‘If I can just figure out where they are-‘

‘Angelina, please don’t.’ Remus begged, he lowered his voice, vaguely aware that Benji had given him a strange look. ‘If there is a real threat, then they will be caught, there is no place currently more secure than where we are sitting right now. Aurors and officials are patrolling looking for anything remotely out of place, your mother and father are sitting next to you, your friends are sitting behind you and I am sitting here. You could not be safer and with you so concerned for me, I could not be safer… please, just try to see that nothing is going to happen to anyone until the match is over. Please try and enjoy the match for your brother’s sake and then we will look for the Death Eater, I promise.’

Angelina frowned, unsure of if she should have done what he asked, but eventually she was convinced and nodded, sighing as she slid her hand into his, making sure he knew she would keep her word. 

Remus kissed her forehead and whispered: ‘Thank you, Angelina.’ 

To her credit, Angelina sat and watched the game intently, cheering on her brother every chance she got. Even when James came swooping past to catch a stray pass she cheered with Lily.

‘That’s my husband!’ Lily shouted, much to Remus’s amusement who just laughed as the beautiful red head came bounding over to kiss his cheek and wrap her arms around his neck. It made Angelina laugh and Remus could not have been in a happier place, with one of his best friends wrapped around him, cheering her husband and the woman he loved happily smiling up at him. 

Remus’s happiness was short lived for a moment when the commentator suddenly said: ‘And the snitch has been caught!’ Everyone held their breath for just a moment, waiting to see which team had won the Quidditch World Cup. ‘AND THE WORLD CUP GOES TO… ENGLAND!!’

Almost the whole stadium erupted with cheers, the England team flew around celebrating, James flew over to the box and immediately Lily ran to her husband and kissed him with everything she had. Darren flew by and high fived Angelina, giving her his trademark wink and winning smile. Remus stood with the rest of the box clapping and whistling along with the crowds. Jocelyne and Benji cheered with David and their children, singing England songs in celebration.

Angelina turned to Remus, smiling so wide she was nearly in tears. Without any hesitation, Angelina wrapped her arms around him and kissed him hard. Remus was only caught off guard for a moment before he slid his hands around her waist and kissed her back with just as much love. He could have stayed like that for the rest of his life, her beautiful, slender, strong body pressed against his, her sweet, light scent invading his lungs and spreading warmth throughout his whole being. He could feel her fingers tangling in his hair and her silent hum approval vibrated against his mouth. 

Remus missed this, he missed her, he missed having her body in his hands, her lips move with his and her love pouring into his soul. ‘I love you.’ She whispered and if Remus had been a lesser man with much less control over himself, he would have made love to her right there in the box seats. Instead he just took a steady breath and stroked her cheek, delicately. 

‘I know you can see what I’m thinking,’ he smiled, a warm flush coating his cheeks. ‘But I feel we have other priorities right now.’

Angelina laughed and rest her forehead against his. ‘We do.’ She sighed and her darkened blue eyes stared into his for a moment, before there was a slight cough behind them.

Remus felt his cheeks flush as they parted slightly to see David grinning at them.

‘We were going to get a drink,’ he said, still grinning and holding Harper as Jocelyne and Benji were following Angelina’s parents out of the emptying box. ‘You know, just in case you wanted to take a breather and join us.’ He winked.

‘They were kissing!’ Harper exclaimed, pointing at Remus and Angelina and making a disgusted face.

‘I know, gross right?’ David joined in with his goddaughter.

‘Oh, you think that was gross?’ Angelina swept up the young red head, laughing with her. ‘What if I cover you in kisses instead?’ She started kissing a giggling Harper, on her cheeks, her head and anywhere else. Harper tried to resist in between her helpless giggles, but it was no good. ‘Come on, let’s go and find your mum and dad and maybe I’ll give them kisses as well.’ 

Remus knew he should have been smiling and he tried, he really did, but just for a moment, his heart broke. He remembered when he looked into the Mirror of Erised, he saw himself unburdened with Lycanthropy with Angelina, his wife and a son who had his mother’s bright blue eyes. He wanted that life so badly, but he knew it was a far off dream. He thought idly that maybe they could adopt if Angelina really wanted children, but he just couldn’t give her his own and risk passing on his condition. 

‘Remus? You coming?’ David frowned.

‘Yes.’ Remus answered a little too quickly and David caught his slightly frantic response loudly and clearly. He didn’t judge Remus, instead he just wandered over and sat down on one of the benches, facing Remus.

‘You want to talk about it?’ He asked, there were no judgements in his eyes and Remus felt his heart wrench even harder. Remus opened and closed his mouth momentarily, nothing came out and David waited patiently while he formed his words, but nothing seemed to happen. ‘We don’t have to talk if you don’t want.’ David half laughed.

Remus just smiled and sat back down on the opposite side of the bench, taking a deep breath and figuring out how to put his fears into words.

‘Angelina is very good with children.’ He said and David gave a look of recognition of where the conversation might have been going. ‘I think she wants a child, maybe not right now, but I’m certain there will come a time where the question is asked… we both already know the answer and yet I think she is still grasping onto some distant hope.’

David took a deep breath and nodded. ‘Well,’ he mused. ‘I think this is something you need to talk to her about. Angie can’t have kids while the brother is inside her, she’d only be risking their safety, at least, that’s what I understand from what she’s told us about this thing, so maybe she isn’t thinking about having children at all…’ David gave Remus a sympathetic smile. ‘Thing about Angie is that you never really know what’s important to her until she says it. When she got that big award for inventing Lockwood’s Wolfsbane, everyone in the school kept congratulating her, but she kept saying that she still had a lot of work to do, and not in that fake humble way, but in a real way that said she really was going to put the work in. When she won the Triwizard cup, she didn’t parade around the school with it, she just carried on thinking about what she was going to do about her feelings for you and how she was going to help that pack in Bulgaria… I don’t know how any of that helps,’ David suddenly laughed, making Remus smile. ‘But I guess what I’m trying to say is that if Angie wants kids and all the rest of it, she would have said it by now and she would already be figuring out a way for that to happen.’

Remus wished he could take comfort in David’s words, but the problem with that was she had already said she wanted kids and her going to Tibet was a step towards making that happen.

David eventually got Remus up and led him down to the winner’s tent where Jocelyne and Benji had congratulated Darren and James, they were about to leave to take the twins home to bed. David saying his goodbyes to his friends and Angelina questioning where Remus was, he didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth so instead just asked that she not think on it until he’d organised his thoughts a little. She respected that and promised to try harder to stay out of his head for a while. 

Remus saw Angelina having a quick word with Benji just before they left and it seemed to get the Meyers away from the tent at a slightly increased pace, but she didn’t elaborate on what the conversation was about and Remus didn’t ask. 

‘There she is!’ Darren cheered and scooped his sister up in a death hug, laughing as he did.

‘Congratulations Darren!’ She cheered back with as much joy.

‘I told you, I told you I would lift the cup, didn’t I say I was the best brother in the world?’ 

Remus smiled at the Lockwood siblings and decided to leave them to their celebrations, instead heading over to the Potters. Lily was still crying and kissing her husband, but Harry would turn up soon with the Weasleys and Remus could distract himself with them for a while.

‘Alright, Moony!’ James said, hugging his best friend.

‘Congratulations Prongs! Well deserved.’ Remus smiled happily, pulling away and turning his attention to Lily. ‘I guess this means there really is no hope for you and I, I could never compete with a World Cup winner.’

‘I’m sorry Moony,’ Lily laughed wrapped her arms around James’s waist. ‘You’ve got the brains and the looks, but he has the money. I’m a material girl.’ Lily winked, with James rolling his eyes, too happy to be unamused by the whole show and Remus couldn’t help but laugh, knowing it was so far from the truth. Their love was so pure and never failed to make his heart lift when he thought about all they’d been through. 

‘Dad!’ Harry came rushing past Remus and hugged his father excitedly. Ron and Hermione were a little more tentative and the rest of the Weasleys soon came in after to congratulate the team.

‘Great game, wasn’t it?’ Arthur had said with a smile.

‘It was excellent.’ Remus agreed. ‘Definitely one for the history books.’ 

Arthur had somehow managed to get Remus interested in talking about England’s tactics during the game and began discussing them in depth. Remus didn’t mind in the slightest, because every so often he would feel Angelina’s hand brushing him as she wandered past to talk to one person or another. At one point she was speaking with Kingsley who wore the same strange expression as Benji had when he hastily left the tent. 

There was a loud cracking that came from just beyond the tent and someone joked that the celebrations were in full swing, but Remus’s smile faded when he saw the look of fear on Angelina’s face moments before she and Kingsley darted out of the tent.

Remus didn’t even bother telling Arthur where he was going, he just followed Angelina out and towards what looked to be a riot starting.

‘Angelina!’ He called and her head immediately whipped around to see him. 

‘Remus, I need you to get everyone out of the tent, get them somewhere safe and stay with them.’ She ordered and he was suddenly reminded of the time in Bulgaria when she had showed the same determination to save the pack. 

‘Angelina, I can’t leave you-‘ 

‘I will find you!’ She snapped. ‘Remus, please trust that I will find you. Just do this for me… trust me.’ 

Remus hesitated for a moment before a ball of fire crashed and blazed not too far from where they were standing. ‘Okay, but please stay safe.’ Remus begged. Angelina nodded and was about to walk away, before turning back to press a harsh kiss against him.

‘I’ll find you.’ She whispered before running off to help Kingsley. 

Remus felt his body surging with a new energy, one made up of worry, dread and fear. He did as she asked and found Anna to help him clear the tent. She didn’t hesitate and Remus could see where Angelina truly found her protective instinct from, it was the same look of focus and concentration to see others safe. He just hoped that Angelina would find him again.


	11. The Burrow

I could barely see anything through the smoke and fire, people were running in every direction, pushing past me and knocking each other to the ground in a panic. I’d done what I could, helping people back up and away from the crowds and sending Benji and Jocelyne home with their children, they had to stay safe. I’d told my mother and Kingsley about what I felt, and they believed me straight away. Remus was right, everyone needed to feel the happiness of the World Cup before I got them worried about anything else, so I did as he asked and put the Death Eater firmly at the back of my mind.

However, there was no ignoring it when the loud cracking could be heard over the celebrations. Kingsley jumped straight into action and I instinctively followed him out, my first thought was how could I get Remus and my family to safety. We tried to get people to move in one direction, but it was hard, my senses were being overwhelmed and I couldn’t pick up the dark trails as easily as I thought I could. Kingsley didn’t care, just as long as we tried to limit the damage being done so that people had a better chance of escaping. 

‘Angie!’ Darren? He came running towards me, still in his white and red national team jacket and riding trousers, wand at the ready. Of course he wouldn’t just go home to safety, he never did as he was asked when I was in danger. ‘What can I do?’

‘There’s still too many people here, I keep losing the trail.’ I yelled over the noise. ‘Is everyone safe?’

‘They’re fine. The tent is clear, mum and dad are helping Crouch and the minister. Remus is with the Potters and Weasleys.’ That was the only thing that settled me at all, at least Remus was safe. 

Darren and I worked together to get the rest of the people away from the campsite and somehow, we managed to do it much quicker than Kingsley and I had. It was the ultimate sign that my brother and I were capable of much more as a team than individually. 

Finally the site was clear, only a few Cup officials were around us and it was much easier to follow the trail.

‘This way.’ I said to Darren, who just followed me with his wand at the ready. We ran through the debris left behind by the fires, changing direction a couple of times as I felt the trail getting thicker; we were closing in, that much was certain. We ran faster and faster until Darren yelled at something in the sky, I looked up and felt my heart sink through to the floor.

The Dark Mark.

We could suddenly hear the sounds of people sending stunners off in a clearing not too far from where we were standing. Darren and I sprinted towards Barty Crouch along with some Aurors, firing stunners towards what looked to be Harry, Ron and Hermione. Why weren’t they with their parents?

‘Which one of you conjured it?’ Crouch demanded, with Arthur Weasley coming into the defend his son. They were kids, none of them could have produced it. I caught Kingsley’s eye and tried to pick up the trail again, following something that felt faded and having it led me nowhere. 

Darren and I finally found our way back to where everyone was still arguing and I felt such anger, shaking my head at Kingsley indicating that I lost the trail and whoever really did conjure the Dark Mark was long gone.

‘It’s alright, we’ll get them next time.’ Darren panted and I tried to believe him, but the weight of the mark was weighing heavily in my chest, the same way Nakamura had done all those years ago, if I had just gone with my instinct, I could have found the culprit sooner. I found myself idly rubbing my shoulder, feeling it ache in a way I wasn’t ready for and soon we were all being sent home. Darren found my parents and they apparated to the Burrow with Harry, Ron and Hermione while Kingsley and I did one last sweep of the campsite to make sure we hadn’t missed anything.

There was nothing there, the dark trails all ran cold, the ash was getting into my lungs and limiting my breathing. Kingsley was patient, but after a while even he could see that I wasn’t sure what I was looking for anymore.

‘Angie,’ he said, placing his hand on my shoulder. ‘We lost this one. Go home, rest, and come back ready for the next one.’

He was right, I was so exhausted from entire event, I needed to go home and sleep and make sure my family got back safely.

The Burrow was one of the homeliest places I’d ever been to, everything about it was warm and welcoming. I could smell something rich and sweet being baked as I stepped through the front door of the house. I suddenly felt the urge to wipe my feet before I stepped any further and a small, red headed woman came into view.

‘Oh, don’t worry about that dear, just you come in and get settled.’ She said, even her voice was warm and I felt a strong desire to see this woman have every happiness she could ever want. ‘You must be Angie?’

‘Yes.’ I panted, realising that I was still out of breath. ‘Molly, isn’t it? Molly Weasley? You’re Ron’s mother?’

‘Unfortunately, I am.’ She said it with a broad smile that contradicted her use of the word ‘unfortunately’, it was the same broad smile that my own mother had from time to time. Molly Weasley was the very essence of a mother. ‘Now, come on, let’s get you inside and fed. Do you want some tea as well?’ She asked the question so plainly, like the most important thing was my well-being.

I smiled at her and hoped she could see how wonderful she was. ‘I would love some. Do you need any help?’

‘Oh, no, no, no. Just head through to the living room, everyone’s in there. Bit shaken, but everyone is fine, just you rest now.’ Molly encouraged and I felt her warm hand guiding me through her cosy home. 

‘Ah, there she is.’ Arthur said, relieved. ‘Thought we’d lost you.’

‘I was just checking we all made it safely.’ I said, looking around to see the whole Weasley clan and Hermione, but no Potters. I wasn’t exactly surprised that they weren’t there, but where was Remus?

‘He’s gone to take Harry back.’ David entered the living room, with a tray filled with mugs of tea for everyone. ‘He’ll be back soon, he just wanted to make sure he was safe.’

‘Right.’ I sighed, letting go of a breath I wasn’t aware I was holding onto. ‘Okay, that’s good.’

‘Angie, might I have a word?’ Arthur gestured for me to follow him through to the kitchen where the smell of bacon and eggs was wonderfully overpowering. I suddenly spotted both my parents helping to make breakfast and chatting with Molly. 

‘Angie.’ My father saw me first and wrapped his strong arms around me. ‘Thank goodness, you’re safe.’

‘I’m fine dad.’ I smiled, holding onto my father as tight as I could before my mother took over. I never realised how much they truly worried until then, why did I never realise it?

‘Angie?’ My mother said quietly against my ear. 

‘Mmm?’

‘You’re filthy.’

I couldn’t help my bark-like laugh, with all the smoke and debris, I didn’t even take into account the fact that I was picking up dirt from all sorts of places. 

‘Darren’s not much better.’ I chuckled and Arthur offered to take us both up to the bathroom to clean up. 

The whole house felt cobbled together, not like the sleek and contemporary design of my parents’ home, or even the cottage in the Isle of Skye that Remus had bought. In some ways, the Burrow felt better than that, like it was built by a family from scratch.

‘I just wanted to thank you both for all you did,’ Arthur said, gesturing to the small wash basin, where Darren immediately took his jacket off and began scrubbing the dirt from his face. ‘Barty Crouch was the one leading the search for the culprit, but as I hear from Kingsley, you were the ones who got the closest and sent Remus to warn us, so I want to thank you for seeing my children safe.’

‘It’s fine, anyone would have done it.’ I shook my head, suddenly missing Remus more than anything. 

‘You really think that with all those people running around panicking about their own safety, any of them would have given a second thought to anyone’s children?’ Arthur smiled a slighter sadder smile and I wanted to erase it from his face, never to be seen again. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you Lockwoods, some things a little more unlikely than others, but from what I’ve seen and heard from much more reliable sources, such as Kingsley and Mad-Eye, I can say with an amount of certainty that the safety of my family could never be in better hands than yours. Thank you.’ Arthur nodded and left us to clean up for a while. 

Darren dried his face with a spare towel and sighed. I could see what my mother was talking about, my whole face was covered in blackened marks from the burning ash and wood of the campsite. There was a little in my hair as well, making me look like some sort of street orphan, a part of me felt like laughing, but truthfully I just didn’t have the energy. So, I methodically began wiping away the marks with the warm water. 

‘So…’ Darren began, letting the towel hang around his neck. ‘Any ideas?’

I scoffed and looked at his sharp blue eyes through the mirror. ‘I don’t know.’ I sighed. ‘Someone was there that shouldn’t have been, someone of some significance.’

‘Well, we know it was a Death Eater,’ Darren said, logically. ‘The minister will probably lean on the Prophet to report it as some pranksters, but I doubt anyone with a brain will believe it.’ I gave my brother a small frown. ‘Trust me, I’ve been around the media long enough to know how Fudge will want to play this, he’ll try and limit the panic and keep all the scary details in house.’

‘I forget you’re famous sometimes.’ I half smiled at Darren who just rolled his eyes.

‘Not all it’s cracked up to be, I’m afraid.’ Darren sighed and I had a feeling there was a lot more to the statement than he had shared with anyone. ‘Anyway, do you think they’ll come back?’

‘I have no idea.’ I shook my head. ‘All I know for sure is that this Death Eater was someone who might be trying to warn us of another attack, possibly one we can’t sweep under the rug with the Daily Prophet… the only good news is, I think they completed whatever task they set out to do, so we can be grateful it wasn’t a lot worse.’

‘I suppose.’ Darren ran his hand through his damp hair. ‘I’m going to head downstairs, make sure mum and dad are okay. Remus managed to get everyone out pretty quick, you would have been very proud. I’ll see you down there.’ 

Darren left, carrying his jacket under his muscular arm and I couldn’t help but feel incredibly sorry for him. This was supposed to be the greatest achievement of his life and it had been ruined for everyone. I leaned on the basin for a moment, letting the warm water run down my face and thought about what should have happened. 

We should have been up celebrating well into the night, we should have been so hungover we thought our heads would explode and I should have spent the day in bed either with Remus or wishing he was there to hold me. I hadn’t been able to resist kissing his bright happy face when the snitch had been caught, and when I felt his desire to make love to me there and then, my whole body had gone weak. 

The one thing that was now bothering me as I ran my fingers through the dirt in my hair, was that my chest still felt heavy, like we still weren’t quite clear of danger and something bigger was coming. I was so angry with myself that I lost the trail so carelessly, if I had just stayed focussed, everything might have been fine. 

I sighed and dried my face which was now clear of any dirt, my hair was still a little damp and usually I would just tie it up, but the scarring on my shoulder would be exposed if I did and I didn’t want to get any awkward looks or questions from anyone. 

Everyone was piling into the kitchen when I joined them and it was only then that I realised how exhausted I was, leaning against the doorframe. Molly was encouraging everyone to find a seat as she began sending food to the long table, Darren was caught in a conversation with Ron about the final and I liked seeing him entertain the conversation with a smile. My mother was talking to Arthur while my father listened in closely and it seemed the only seat left was next to Hermione and… Remus.

‘Angelina.’ He breathed as he stood. The whole table had suddenly gone quiet, but I barely noticed because I’d started crying as Remus strode towards me and wrapped his arms around me, kissing my hair and telling me everything was alright. ‘You’re okay, it’s fine, everyone is fine.’ He kept repeating, but all I could do was cry.

‘I’m so sorry, I’m sorry.’ I sobbed, not letting go of him. I could feel his hands in my hair and around my waist, just trying to show me he was there. ‘I shouldn’t have left you; I should’ve kept you safe. I just kept losing it and then it was gone. I’m so sorry.’

‘It’s alright, everything is alright.’ Remus kissed the side of my head, how was he so warm? So filled with love, when all I could do was panic about what I could have lost? ‘I stayed safe; I did as you asked.’ Remus lowered his voice to an almost inaudible level. ‘I’ll always do as you ask Angelina. Just breathe.’ I tried, I took a deep breath and relaxed against him, resting my forehead against his shoulder and just trying to calm down. ‘That’s it, just relax, everyone is safe and unharmed.’ Remus’s fingers gently massaged the back of my neck, while he continued to place kisses wherever he could reach. 

I wasn’t sure how long we stood there, everything was a blur. It was overwhelming as I let my concentration slip and the bombardment of everyone else’s thoughts began invading my mind. We sat and had breakfast and no one brought up what they had witnessed between the two of us, I blocked everyone else from my mind, still unable to quite block Remus and I was glad for a while; it seemed his thoughts were the only thing that were grounding me.

It was a couple of weeks later and the papers had reported the event exactly the way Darren said they would and it only served to annoy me, my parents had told me to put it out of my mind, stating that whoever had really conjured the mark wouldn’t try again so soon to carry out whatever plans they had. I supposed they were right and tried to focus on the speech I would give at the opening ceremony of the Triwizard Tournament. 

I was nervous about everything, but Remus was there to look over my speech and give me a few pointers just before I set off for Hogwarts. 

‘It looks good to me,’ he nodded, flicking through my notes on my bed while I got changed into something appropriate. ‘But you don’t need me to tell you that. Angelina, you are going to be fine.’

I took a deep nervous breath and stood back from the mirror, I’d chosen my trademark long black coat with a slimming, cream, V-neck top and my tight black jeans. My long blonde hair was hanging down half way down my chest and I put my glasses on a few times to see which looked better.

‘What do you think?’ I turned to see Remus’s gaze flicker over my entire being, his mind wandered to memories of times spent in my bedroom and I couldn’t help but smile as his cheeks turned faintly pink. 

‘I think your glasses hide your eyes.’ He smiled and I couldn’t help but laugh. ‘I also think a variety of other things, but I feel it would only delay you.’

I turned back to look in the mirror and took my glasses off, sliding them into my coat pocket. ‘I think you’re right about the glasses.’ I eyed him through the mirror, catching his gaze drift down my back. ‘I can see you staring.’

‘Am I not allowed?’ It seemed to be a half genuine question and I wasn’t sure how to answer. Remus could see my uncertainty and lifted himself off the bed, slowly stepping behind me and wrapping his arms around my waist. ‘I don’t know if I’ve told you this recently, but you are so beautiful Angelina.’ He said, in a low voice and kissed the side of my head.

I let myself lean back into his body, sliding my hands over his and letting my eyes close for a while. I felt him breathing deeply, absorbing me the way I was absorbing him. ‘I miss this.’ I whispered.

‘So do I.’ I felt the brush of his lips against my ear and it sent a rush of warmth through me. I could have stayed in his arms all night long and never been happier, this was what my happiness looked like. It was just Remus Lupin and nothing else. I was only broken out of my trance by Remus kissing my temple. ‘As much as I would love to stay like this all night, if you don’t leave soon, you’ll be late to the feast.’

‘Yeah.’ I said, not really caring that much. ‘Suppose I best go.’ I didn’t move or even bother opening my eyes and it only served to make Remus laugh.

‘I’m serious, you need to go Angelina.’ Remus kissed my temple again and this time he moved his arms and took a step back, forcing me to open my eyes and take a breath just to wake myself up a little. I turned to face him and smiled up at his handsome face, I made no secret of the fact that I liked his slightly scruffy beard that he had been growing, something he didn’t remotely care about taming unless he was going somewhere important. ‘I wanted to ask you something,’ Remus kept his hand lightly placed on my waist and swallowed nervously. ‘Of course, I would completely understand if you said no, but I would like you to take some time to consider it…’ Remus closed his eyes for a moment and I could feel a heaviness to his thoughts. I tried with everything I could to avoid simply finding out what he was thinking. ‘It’s just that while I’m trying to stay out of the public eye, I just think that I could be doing something useful and I wanted to ask if you’d consider the option of my going to the cottage and… renovating?’

I frowned for a moment, almost unsure of why he thought he needed to ask permission.

‘I don’t mean to make any huge changes,’ Remus was starting to panic a little. ‘I just thought that with what you said about liking the open plan idea, maybe I could get started on it? And maybe look at fixing a few other bits and pieces.’

‘Remus,’ I half smiled. ‘You don’t need to ask me to do that, if you feel like it’s something you want, then do it.’

Remus deflated and smiled. ‘Angelina, the cottage was your dream, not mine. I don’t care where I live, as long as you’re there. I just I don’t want you to live somewhere you don’t love.’ It seemed to be a realisation that hit me harder than I was ready for. Remus bought the cottage for us with the intention of us both living there and calling it our home. He could see the realisation hitting me and gently brought his hand up to stroke my hair. ‘I’m not saying that we have to move in the second it’s finished, there’s no pressure for you to do anything, but if and when you make a decision, I want it to be ready for you.’ Remus kissed my forehead. ‘I should mention an ulterior motive… Sirius is still on the run and the last place anyone would look is some remote cottage in the Isle of Skye belonging to a werewolf.’ That at least made me laugh a little. ‘It might keep him safe and busy for a while?’ He knew how to get to me, but I didn’t really mind that much.

I smiled up at Remus and looked into his warm blue eyes, I’d missed those eyes watching me with adoration sitting behind them. ‘Okay.’ I nodded. ‘I think you should both have something to keep you occupied.’ I couldn’t help but let my fingers drift idly through his beard. ‘I take it there’s no word on any new jobs then?’

‘No, but that’s alright,’ Remus sighed and his smile was suddenly a little sad. ‘I’ll be fine for at least the next year, so no need to worry too much just yet.’

‘Okay.’ I nodded. ‘Well, just let me know if you need any help, with renovating or otherwise.’ I could tell that Remus was a little uncomfortable talking about money, but he didn’t need to be with me, he never even had to ask the question. ‘Now, I really have to go.’ 

Remus laughed and let go of my waist, allowing me to collect my wand and broom from the corner of my room. 

‘You’re flying?’ Remus frowned. ‘I thought you were apparating?’

‘I’m apparating to the station, but I’ll have missed the carriages so I’ll need to fly there.’ I quickly explained as we wandered downstairs and I began locking up the house. ‘Are you worried?’

‘I’m always worried.’ 

I looked up at Remus who was watching the sun go down in the distance, he looked good in the last of the summer light, like someone who’s only thought was ever of home and family. He was suddenly aware of me watching him and smiled gently at me. 

‘I’m sorry, I know you don’t like me worrying.’ He said.

‘I don’t,’ I sighed and locked the back door. ‘But I know I can’t stop you.’

Remus half laughed and carefully took my broom to carry down the path, it wasn’t really necessary, but I knew he liked to do those things for me, it made him feel useful and in recent weeks it was something Remus was severely lacking in. 

‘I wish you could come.’ I found myself saying at the end of the path. 

Remus just took a breath and ran his hand down my arm. ‘I know, but when you come back and feel ready, we can see each other and maybe we can finish off our talk.’ I knew he caught my discomfort, but he didn’t let me feel it for too long. ‘There are things I want to clear up and if we’re going to start fresh and build something new, then I want to do so with a clear head and a clear heart.’

‘I understand.’ I nodded and went to take my broom back.

‘What are you doing?’ He frowned.

‘Erm… taking my broom?’ What did he think I was doing?

‘I see,’ I could see his cheeky smile making an appearance. ‘So, you don’t want me to kiss you goodbye?’

‘Well, yeah, but-‘

I never finished my sentence because Remus pulled my broom up to hover next to us, while his hands delved into my hair and his wonderfully warm lips crashing into mine, he pressed his body into me, using his tongue to tease my mouth open so that he could map out inside my mouth. He felt so good and forced a whimper from my throat, unexpectedly. It made Remus laugh gently and my face flushed red. 

‘I love you, Angelina.’ His lips grazed mine and I started to feel my body coming back to me. ‘I fully intend to give you everything I am capable of for as long as you would have me.’ Remus pressed his lips gently to mine once more. ‘Now, go and show those students what a real Triwizard winner looks like.’

I felt that warm buzz running through my whole body, the one that only he could make happen and I laughed, pulling away to see his darkened eyes scanning my face.

‘Why is it you’re always thinking about me like that when we can’t do anything about it?’ My cheeks were aching with how much I was smiling.

‘I’m afraid it’s not just when we can’t do anything.’ He joked. ‘I had hoped to hide what a crude man I could be, but you seem to bring the worst out in me.’

‘I’m not even sorry.’ I laughed and checked the time. ‘Right, now I’m late and I really have to go.’

‘Okay.’ Remus nodded, pulling away. ‘I’ll see you soon. Good luck.’

‘Thank you. See you soon, Remus.’ I grabbed the handle of my broom and took one last look at Remus, before apparating to the castle. I loved Remus Lupin more than anything and I hoped one day I could show him just how much.


	12. The Speech, The House and The Party

The feast was just about to commence when I arrived, Snape was the one who I had managed to catch up with on my way through the entrance to the castle.

‘Professor Snape.’ I nodded, politely. 

The Potions Master just swivelled on his heel to face me, he seemed to give me a once over and assess my state. ‘You’re late.’ He noted, gesturing for me to enter into the Great Hall first. It took me a moment to adjust to the overwhelming concentration I needed to have to block out the hundreds of students’ thoughts, but with one deep breath and the memory of Remus kissing me deeply, I knew I’d be okay.

‘Well, it’s good to see you too.’ I smiled, knowing it was the best I would get from Snape, but my good mood wouldn’t be damped by him. I strode into the Hall, seeing the familiar sight of the start of term feast, it looked like I’d missed the Sorting Ceremony, as well as the arrival of the other two schools. ‘I do hope you had a good summer, Professor?’ 

I made sure to walk with Snape beside the Slytherin table and up to where there happened to be two empty seats next to each other. McGonagall seemed to be pre-emptively excited to see me and I couldn’t deny it had been far too long since I’d laid my eyes on my old Head of House.

‘It was adequate.’ Snape commented, cryptically. ‘I presume yours was filled with no small amount of celebration.’ It wasn’t really a question. ‘I suppose it’s fair to say your brother did very well during the competition and will seek to capitalise on his achievements during the season.’ If I didn’t know any better, I’d say Snape was being nice to me.

‘Yeah, I hope so. The Falcons will be looking for a second straight season win and if I know my brother, it’s pretty likely.’ I nodded reaching the teachers table.

‘Oh Angie, you made it.’ McGonagall stood up and much to my surprise, she hugged me tightly. ‘You’ll be introduced after Barty, give your speech and reveal the cup-‘

‘Wait, what?’

‘Oh, you weren’t told?’ I gave her a look. ‘Oh, well, now you know, in the meantime have a seat, you look freezing.’ 

I wasn’t quite used to this amount of attention from McGonagall, usually she would give me a quick word and that would be it, but I supposed the excitement of the occasion was getting everyone’s spirits up. Much to my surprise, Snape had pulled out my chair and waited for me to sit first before taking his own seat. 

It was then that I noticed, that while surrounding McGonagall was a variety of emotions all co-ordinating around the students and the Goblet, Snape was baron of all thought. I subtly glanced at him and wondered if he was an Occlumens. 

Dumbledore stood up to introduce Crouch and the Goblet and I felt my heart swell, that goblet was the reason I spent what felt like a year of my life in the maze, it was the reason I realised my feelings for Remus and it was the reason I could call myself an experienced survivor. It had taken far more than I was ready to give to get through the Tournament and some days I just wanted to quit. 

Barty stood up to introduce the Tournament and something caught my attention behind me. Mad Eye had crept in through the door behind the teachers table, probably not wanting to draw too much attention to himself which was understandable. I gave him a quick nod, but all I received as a reply was a stare and I thought it strange until Barty began speaking.

‘…the ministry has decided that no student below the age of seventeen will be allowed to enter the Tournament.’ There was quite the uproar among the students, but given the recent events, it was understandable why the new rule would be imposed. Dumbledore silenced the crowd immediately and Barty listed off the rest of the rules. 

I took the opportunity to look at my notes a little nervously and check I knew what I was saying.

‘Nervous?’ Snape said, quietly next to me. I jumped a little and gave a shy smile. ‘Surely not, given you exit from this school, you practically poured confidence in your ability to entertain.’ Was he giving me a pep talk? ‘Not to mention your impressive charm and skill when presenting your invention to the minister himself. However, I can see how school children would be an unparalleled challenge for someone who has achieved so little.’

I had to chuckle at his motivational speech, it was so like Snape to lace a compliment with insult and underwhelming comments. 

‘I never did thank you for helping me with Lockwood’s Wolfsbane, not properly, I mean.’ I said, quietly, trying not to disturb anyone else at the table. ‘I do appreciate everything you did for me in school, you were the only one who really pushed me to do it and I couldn’t understand it at the time, so thank you, Severus.’ I chanced using his first name and his dark eyes snapped to my own.

‘I may vomit at your sentimentality.’ Was all he said, I wasn’t even upset or annoyed at his dismissal of my thanks. It was just how Snape was.

I turned back to watch Barty finishing up with the rules. I took a calming breath and Dumbledore stepped forward.

‘And now, to give you all her wise words,’ I had really hoped that Dumbledore wouldn’t raise the expectation too high, but it may have been too much to ask. ‘The previous winner of the Tournament, one of Hogwarts own and quite possibly her generation’s brightest and bravest… Miss Angie Lockwood.’

The Hall seemed to erupt in a much bigger cheer than I was ready for and much to my surprise, many of the teachers stood as a mark of respect, including Snape, who stood to the side allowing me to move out from behind the teacher’s table and take front and centre stage. Dumbledore pulled me in for a quick hug, but gave no more words of advice. I was on my own.

I waited a few more moments as the cheering died down and suddenly I slipped into a state I’d not been in for years. I was the confident performer from all those years ago and I felt good being in front of a crowd. I had an idle thought about it being something to do with the brother, but quickly dismissed it from my mind.

‘Well, that was quite something, Professor Dumbledore,’ I joked. ‘Let’s see if I can live up to your fine words.’ I took a quick breath and stood up straight, looking out into the crowd. ‘I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say when I came here tonight, I went over my memory of the tournament too many times to count and quite frankly, more times than I ever intended.’ I could feel the mood shifting in the room. ‘I was sixteen when I entered into the Tournament, I was young, far too young to really know what it was I was getting myself into and absolutely convinced that my best friend Jack Rathborne would be chosen as champion. As far as I was concerned, Jack was everything a good champion should have been, he was popular, he was brave, smart and I fondly remember putting on very entertaining shows for the rest of the school in the courtyard. He was loved by everyone.’ I felt a small lump forming in the back of my throat and took a breath to compose myself. ‘But when the time came for the champions to be chosen I was hit with a reality that I was not prepared for… the Goblet was never going to choose Jack, not in a million years and the reason for that was because he was too good a person.’ The room was definitely feeling the discomfort now. ‘Jack was the very best of us because he would gladly give up everything he had to see us living long happy lives… but that unfortunately is not what this Tournament requires of it’s champions. It requires skill and bravery, yes, intelligence, creative thinking, of course, but it also requires a deep sense of self-preservation. All I was ever told walking into to every task was to simply survive, if all else failed, if I couldn’t complete the task, that was fine all I had to do was send up sparks and someone would come to my rescue. The cost of that was ejection from the Tournament.’ 

I felt everyone’s heavy gaze on me, but I was glad it was simply sliding off of me like this was all I was ever made for.

‘I could have given up any time, I could have sent up those sparks, forfeited the task and gone home, some days I wonder why on earth I would have considered anything else. But I didn’t give up… I’m afraid I can’t stand here and tell you that I became a better person because I didn’t give up, but I certainly became a more experienced person. The harsh reality is that this Tournament can’t offer you anything better. Your name will be put in the history books, your achievements will live on long after you leave Hogwarts and you will be remembered for eternity, but I urge you all to think carefully about the true cost of that.’ 

I knew what I was saying wasn’t exactly the words they wanted to hear, but I knew Remus would be disappointed if I didn’t try and make them see the reality of what I went through.

‘Having said that, if you choose to put your name into the goblet, know that you will stand alone and should you succeed you will have earned the right to call yourself a Triwizard Champion. I wish you all the very best of luck and to those three who will be chosen, I say this: be brave, don’t be proud and above all else, survive. Thank you.’ 

The applause wasn’t quite what it was before I spoke, but I knew I did the right thing, the Tournament nearly killed me more than once and it would have been irresponsible to think otherwise. I whipped my wand out and tapped the edge of the container, it revealed the Goblet of Fire and I didn’t bother hiding my slight fear of it as I stepped to one side and allowed Dumbledore to finish his own speech.

The feast went on and I couldn’t help but find myself talking more and more to Snape, anything that kept the Goblet out of my eyeline. It was the simply memory of Jack that got to me more than anything, especially where he had been at the bottom of the lake and I’d put a beard on him while he was helpless to do anything about it. We’d laughed and joked and everything seemed like such a laugh at the time, but the truth was, I was fighting for my life and I was more scared than I’d ever let on.

Remus was excited to hear that her speech had gone well, and even more excited to learn that it had mostly involved a well thought out warning about the reality of the Tournament. The champions were about to be chosen that night, but Angelina wouldn’t be there, she would be at the cottage with Remus to talk about what they wanted to do to fix it up. He would be taking her to Jocelyne’s house for dinner, and she would be able to spend an evening relaxing with her friends, hopefully finding some normality again. 

Remus hadn’t heard from Sirius since writing to ask for his help in fixing up the cottage, but he knew it was a risk for him to write under any circumstance, so simply presumed his old friend would turn up at some point. 

Angelina had arrived in the afternoon, refreshed and looking as beautiful as he’d ever seen her. Her hair was up, revealing her slender neck, her white t-shirt hung from her lean frame in just the right way and his old green cardigan wrapped around her shoulders, making her look like someone who really was just coming home. 

‘Angelina.’ Remus breathed carefully leaning on the door frame. He’d taken to doing the little work he’d already done in just his old beige t-shirt and dirty old brown trousers. 

‘Well, look at you.’ She smiled. ‘I didn’t know you could look so… is rugged the right word to use?’

Remus laughed shook his head. ‘I have no idea, but you look wonderful as always.’ He gently kissed her cheek and led her into the house. 

They spent a few hours looking at the structure of the house and deciding whether they needed to fix something or replace it entirely. Remus was sure that a lot of it could be fixed, but he was willing to be proven wrong if Angelina had another idea. 

She seemed so happy making the small decisions about their home and became more than excited when Remus had his own suggestion that she fell in love with. The one that gave him the most pride was the idea of turning the loft into her research lab, it was big enough for her to work and she could easily fit in her desks, work benches and anything else she had in her lab at her parent’s house. 

‘If it was something you wanted,’ Remus helped her down the rickety steps that led up into the loft, they would need to be replaced as soon as possible. ‘We could open up the roof to let a little more light in?’

Angelina thought for a moment. ‘It would probably help with any plants I’ve got in there, you know what I’m like.’ She just laughed and the went downstairs into the kitchen.

‘I do.’ Remus smiled. ‘First thing to do, is get rid of this damn wall,’ he said, knocking on the wall separating the kitchen and living room. ‘I’m hating it the more I have to look at it.’

‘Well, you’d best not do it on your own, either wait until Sirius is here or I’ll work out a day to come up and help.’

Remus paused for a moment, thinking on his old friend. He took a breath and turned to where Angelina was sitting up on one of the counters. ‘You know that I’m sorry, don’t you? About Sirius?’ 

‘I know.’ She nodded and gave him a sympathetic smile. The sun was starting to descend in the sky and put her in a slightly dimmed light, it was like something out of a memory. Remus didn’t want her to be a memory, he wanted to be with him in the here and now. He had a sudden urge to change all the lighting in the house so that she would never be just a memory to him. ‘Do you know that I’m sorry?’

‘For what?’ He frowned.

‘For… being me.’ That was why he didn’t like the light, because he couldn’t see that she was crying. ‘I’m sorry that I’m so impulsive and I can’t do as I’m told. And I’m sorry that I’m not more sensitive to the way you feel.’ 

Remus stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair the way he’d become accustomed to doing when she was upset and breathing with her.

‘Some days, I’m not sure I can blame the brother either,’ she continued, but the crying subsided marginally. ‘Some days, I know it’s me and I know I’m selfish and I really wish I wasn’t.’

‘You’re not selfish.’ Remus whispered, kissing her head and pulling back to see her tears streaming down her face. ‘Angelina, you are the most selfless person I have ever met. How many times have you been in a situation where you could have died, only to put other’s before yourself?’

‘I don’t know.’ She shook her head, her wet blue eyes searching his face for some sign that she was okay again.

‘Nor do I. Too many, I suspect.’ Remus chuckled, making her give a small smile. ‘You’re not selfish Angelina, you’re just… you’re still working things out and that’s fine. I told you a long time ago, I am a patient man,’ he wiped away any stray tears on her soft, red cheeks. ‘And for you, I have endless patience.’ 

Remus placed a small, soft kiss to her wet lips, he could taste the salty tears, but he didn’t care, not even a little bit. 

‘Tell me what else is bothering you.’ Remus whispered against her mouth. She frowned and it only made him pull away to look at her and smile. ‘You’re not the only one who can feel when something is wrong.’

Angelina half laughed and Remus stood back a little to give her some space to think, placing his hands just above her knees.

‘I think I’m just overwhelmed,’ she said, not sure if that was the right word, but Remus let her find the right ones. ‘I mean, mentally it’s hard to block everyone out, but emotionally, it’s hard to… think.’ She sighed, knowing she hadn’t said any of it the way she wanted to, Remus gave her a moment. ‘It’s just that I know that I want you, but I don’t know if I really know what that includes… like this house, like a future… I’m not saying any of this right.’

Remus breathed a laugh and thought about what she was trying to say. ‘Okay, I know you’re not saying that you don’t want to be with me, because you’ve already told me off for such questions,’ at least that made Angelina smile a little. ‘So, this is something else, something you’ve not realised?’

She nodded and watched him for a moment. ‘I see my parents sometimes, living their life in their house, with their kids, with their marriage and their new cat and I think to myself, that’s the future I’m supposed to be working towards… but, I think in all my thoughts about a future with you, I never honestly considered the fact that I would have to eventually move away from my parents house, live somewhere I haven’t called home for the last twenty-four years with a man I haven’t called my family before.’ Angelina sighed and Remus couldn’t help the slight hurt he felt at the way she worded it, but he understood. 

‘It’s a change you never anticipated actually happening?’ Remus clarified.

‘Yes.’ She exclaimed as if he’d suddenly hit the nail on the head. ‘Yes, I’ve always wanted you and I’ve always wanted this place and a future with you, but I just never actually expected it to happen… I don’t know why I would think that.’ Angelina was suddenly very hurt at her own words and Remus gently squeezed her thighs, forcing her to look at him.

‘Angelina, I told you before, there is absolutely no pressure for you to do anything you are not ready for.’ Remus assured her. ‘I will not force you to leave your home and I will not force you into a future with me if you are not ready… but, think about it this way, your parents built that home together. When they acquired that house, it probably wasn’t much more than this one is now, what made it a home was everything they did with it, every piece of themselves went into making that home for their children to grow up in, they made changes to it to accommodate those children’s needs, like the tables in the back garden when Darren would bring his friends over, like converting your father’s office into your research lab. All these things, these little seemingly insignificant changes made their house a home, and they protect that home with everything they have. They make it warm so that when you go back, you feel comfortable and safe and they are there to welcome you into their arms so that you know you are loved. That’s what makes it a home.’ Remus brought his hand up to brush away a stray tear that fell down her cheek. ‘Your parents are so far into the future they envisioned for themselves that it looks like they were always that way, but everything starts somewhere…’ he smiled at her. ‘And it usually starts with knocking down a few walls.’

Angelina chuckled and brought her hand to rest on top of his, kissing his palm. ‘Thank you.’ She whispered.

‘You never have to thank me Angelina,’ Remus kissed her forehead. ‘I’m in this with you and we’re doing this together.’ He remained close, just placing soft kisses against her skin, settling her. ‘I’m never leaving you again, Angelina. I love you more than I could ever say.’ He whispered, feeling her other hand run up the length of his chest and sending a rush through his body. He felt her chuckling, knowing she could sense what he was thinking.

‘You really are crude.’ She laughed and Remus began laughing with her. ‘On the counter wouldn’t be very hygienic.’ She joked.

‘Well, we don’t have a kitchen table yet, so I’m stuck improvising.’ Remus joked back and it only made her laugh even harder.

‘Have you always been like this?’ She managed to choke out.

Remus shrugged. ‘When in the presence of a beautiful woman, the mind tends to wander to more desirable places.’

‘Is that right?’ 

‘I’m afraid so.’ Remus ran his hands through her hair. ‘If I acted on every wandering thought I ever had about you, I’m afraid you’d never leave my bed.’ 

He was glad he could simultaneously make her laugh and go red all at the same time. 

‘I might have to take you up on that offer one day.’ She finally said, calming down and relaxing into the gentle circles he was making in her hair. Remus wondered for a moment if she would ever let him touch her again, they still hadn’t spoken about the last time they had sex and there were things he wanted to clear up. ‘I was desperate.’ She suddenly said, opening her eyes, possibly not realising they had closed in the first place. ‘And I was angry.’ Remus slowed his movements. ‘I just wanted things to go back to the way they were, but I felt like it was never going to be the same again… I still feel like that in some ways.’ Remus frowned. ‘We never spoke about the night Sirius came back, I felt like I’d lost everything and I realised that I didn’t care as long as I had you, but then you became the reason I was still losing things,’ Angelina let a few tears go and Remus felt his heart sinking. ‘I blamed you so much for how much pain was in, I wanted you to take responsibility for fixing that, but I didn’t want you to touch me or look at what you did, because somehow it felt like I wasn’t worth a second glance from you anymore.’

‘Angelina-‘

‘I still want you to take responsibility and show me that I can trust you with my body again,’ she cut him off, not allowing him to apologise and it was only then that he felt his own tears falling. ‘But it’s hard when I don’t feel like I’m worth your love anymore.’

‘No,’ Remus said, stepping as close as he could to her. ‘No, you deserve so much more than my love.’ He swallowed the heavy lump in his throat and tried to stay calm. ‘Angelina, I thought I’d killed you,’ he whispered. ‘I thought I’d destroyed the one chance I ever had at happiness. I knew it would never be perfect and I didn’t want to be, merlin knows, neither one of us is perfect and that’s fine… you’ve always been more beautiful than you knew, men don’t flirt with you for no reason, you’re invigorating and intoxicating and exhilarating and I never thought about what it would feel like to be with someone like that, because I never believed myself worthy of such love. And then the day came when you chose me and I promised myself at that moment, I would never put you in harm’s way, I would give you every piece of myself that you asked for, I would protect you from anything or anyone who tried to hurt you including me… I knew the consequences of breaking that promise, I knew that given what I am, you could die should you have gotten too close, I knew that all I ever had to do was drink that damn potion and I could continue to keep my promise… but I broke it… I broke you.’ Remus took a steady breath and looked down into her watery blue eyes. ‘I don’t know if I could ever live up to what you deserve, but I know that the night you failed to change was the worst night of my life. I wanted to stop taking the potion altogether and feel the agony again, because that’s what I deserved. I deserved to be in more pain than I had ever been because of what I did to you.’ Remus closed his eyes and rested his forehead against hers. ‘I will take responsibility, I will live up to my promise, Angelina, I’ll never make you feel unworthy ever again. Just give me the chance to prove it and I will prove it, every single day.’

Angelina took a moment to breathe, before shifting her lips closer to his, grazing them lightly before speaking. ‘I don’t want to hurt you either,’ she whispered. ‘But I want you to see what you did and love me anyway.’

Remus stilled, he suddenly realised that he wasn’t ready. For all their flirting and suggestion of spending the day in bed, he really wasn’t ready to see what the monster inside of him did to her. 

‘That’s okay.’ Angelina whispered. ‘I’m not ready either. Not yet.’

Remus sank into her kiss, knowing that she was everything he ever wanted, she understood him, she loved him and Remus was never throwing that away over anything ever again. 

He wasn’t sure how long they spent, placing lazy kisses against each other, but eventually the sun was descending much lower in the sky than he realised and they still needed to go to Jocelyne’s for dinner.

‘There you are!’ Jocelyne opened the door, embracing Angelina, before hugging Remus as well. ‘Come in, we’re were just about to start.’ 

Remus had changed out of his dirty old clothes and into something more appropriate for dinner, but Angelina still wore his old cardigan and she wore it well. He was hardly surprised to find that David wasn’t there, he was still teaching Care of Magical Creatures at Hogwarts and would be there for the three champions being chosen as was customary for Hogwarts staff to watch.

Benji had invited Tonks to dinner as well as a few people from the observatory where Jocelyne worked as a Star Gazer. Remus wasn’t exactly sure about what her job really entailed, but he was glad to see that she was happy with her life. He soon learned that Jackson and Harper were at their grandparents for the evening and so Benji and Jocelyne had a rare free weekend to spend however they liked, free from children and work commitments.

‘The office were a bit reluctant to let me have the weekend,’ Benji said as he grabbed another butterbeer for Remus from the fridge. ‘But I’ve not had a weekend off since the kids were born so they kind of owed me one.’ 

Remus took the bottle and sat back down at their kitchen table, he was proud to see Benji had grown into such a respectable father and husband figure, regardless of his wonderful career as a leading expert in Lycanthropy for the Aurors office, he seemed most proud of his achievements as a family man, something Remus was immensely jealous of.

‘I’m glad to hear it,’ Remus smiled, sipping his butterbeer. ‘I take it you’ve got plans?’

‘Well,’ Benji had a very proud smile indeed. ‘Last year was our five year wedding anniversary, but we couldn’t celebrate properly because of a few work things, so I’m taking her to Hawaii for the weekend. We leave first thing in the morning and we’ll be back Monday evening, but don’t say anything, it’s a surprise.’ 

Remus couldn’t help but smile so widely it hurt his cheeks. ‘I won’t say a word and congratulations on your anniversary. I’m sure you’ll both have a wonderful time.’

‘I hope so, she’s been talking about wanting to get away somewhere warm and her mum said how much she always wanted to go to Hawaii as a kid, so… yeah.’ Benji nodded, leaning back against his kitchen counter and running a slightly scarred hand through his rich, red hair. ‘But anyway, Jocelyne said you guys might be fixing up the cottage soon?’

Remus nodded and sighed, thinking on the conversation he’d had with Angelina that afternoon. ‘Yes, it looks like it’ll be a big job, but Angelina seems happy enough with everything.’

‘Happy enough?’ Benji frowned. ‘Not actually happy, just happy enough.’ 

Benji had never been particularly comfortable talking about other people’s relationships, the only exception he made was his own and Remus knew he wouldn’t want to get into anything with Remus and Angelina.

‘Everything’s a work in progress at the moment.’ Remus sipped his beer again. ‘Angelina has been through a lot over the last few years so we just need to take things slow and make sure she’s comfortable with everything.’

Benji nodded, thinking on something. ‘You know, I was never that keen on you and Angie, I probably made that clear on more than one occasion,’ Remus half laughed, knowing it was an understatement. ‘But I want you to know that it was never because I didn’t like you or because you were our teacher for seven years, or even because you weren’t a good person. It was because I knew Angie far too well and I knew the day would come where she would get too curious and do something incredibly stupid that would get her killed.’ Remus’s good mood disappeared. ‘It wasn’t your fault, you know that don’t you?’

‘Benji, it was entirely my fault.’ Remus stood firm, but Benji wasn’t having any of it.

‘No,’ he shook his head and stepped towards Remus, making his point clear. ‘No, trust me when I say that none of what happened that night was your fault. From what Anna said, Angie could have changed into her animagus and lured you to the other side of the country, but she didn’t, she kept you in the Forest and put her life at risk, without any regard for the consequences. Now, she’s always been curious, she’s always been willing to jump in the Black Lake and find out what lives in there herself rather than reading it out of books and maybe it’s just me, but have you noticed how reckless she’s become in the last few years?’ Remus frowned at the question. ‘She ran off the Alban Hills with no real knowledge of what she was going to find there, she wanted to see what was inside her soul, I don’t know anyone else in the world who would go to such lengths to do that… and she could have lured you away in order to save her own life.’

‘What are you saying?’ Remus didn’t like what he was hearing.

‘I’m saying that I’m not exactly sure of who Angie is anymore,’ Benji lowered his voice, there wasn’t much need as everyone was in the garden singing the night away, but he was a cautious man. ‘I’m saying that she might not be aware of what that thing inside of her is really doing and I’m saying you of all people need to be really sure of who she is and what it is. The Angie I went to school with is still in there somewhere, but she’s getting real hard to see these days. So, I’m asking you, as her friend, please don’t let her down again, because I know she won’t survive a second heartbreak.’

Remus looked up at the young man who had once been an innocent first year, incapable of producing the simplest of spells and now he was a pillar of wisdom and an extraordinarily observant man. 

‘I won’t let her down again.’ Remus promised.

‘Good.’ Benji nodded and looked out the window to wave at his wife who was already on her sixth beer. ‘Merlin, here we go.’ He half laughed as Jocelyne came bounding into the kitchen, wrapping her arms around her husband. ‘Well, well, well, you’re in a good mood.’ He smiled, holding her steady against him.

‘Oh, come on, Benji, don’t be such a buzzkill,’ Jocelyne gave him a sloppy kiss and laughed. ‘Come and dance with me.’

‘Oh, alright, why not?’ Benji sighed, exasperated and Remus couldn’t help his laugh at the two of them. 

Remus followed them out into the garden, only to see Angelina leaning against the wall of the house next to the back door. She was watching her friends dancing, Benji mostly making sure Jocelyne didn’t fall, but still having a good time with her. Her hair was a little loose after she had redone it into a bun revealing the darker blonde at the roots, something he’d not noticed too much before. He liked the way it didn’t feed too far down the back of her neck, revealing enough flesh to make Remus’s mouth water, it had been far too long since he’d been able to kiss that flesh or inhale the scent of her hair and he sorely missed it.

‘Are you alright?’ Remus asked, she jumped slightly, not realising he was standing next to her. ‘Sorry, thought you would’ve heard me.’

‘Oh, no, I think the alcohol is messing with concentration.’ Angelina laughed and went back to watching her friends. 

‘Do you want to dance?’ Remus asked, chancing his luck a little, he could just about smell the sweet, light scent that was his Angelina.

She grimaced and shook her head. ‘Not really.’ 

‘Okay, well, do you want another drink?’ 

‘I’m fine.’ She shook her head again.

Remus just watched her for a moment, trying to decide what he should have tried next, she couldn’t have overheard the conversation with Benji, so something else must have been bothering her.

‘I just…’ she started, but the words weren’t coming to her. Remus leaned against the wall next to her and waited, patiently, observing the way her eyes moved around as she tried to catch her thoughts. ‘We’ve got a long way to go, haven’t we?’

Remus inhaled deeply and smiled sympathetically. ‘I believe so, yes.’

Angelina nodded and remained quiet, still watching her friends drunkenly dance with each other in the small crowd of people. ‘Is it alright to admit that I’m scared?’

‘Of what?’

‘Of messing everything up, of breaking another promise, of… not being enough.’ 

Remus took another breath, trying not to get agitated. ‘Angelina, how can I prove to you that you’re so much more than enough for me? What can I do to make you see that-?’ Remus suddenly stopped; he knew exactly what he could do. Angelina frowned, her eyes were slightly glassy and he was momentarily grateful that her concentration was off to the point that she couldn’t see what he was thinking. ‘You are enough for me, even if we never fell in love, you would always be enough for me.’

Remus gently stroked her cheek and smiled.

‘Just promise you’ll continue to be who you are and everything will work out for the best, I promise.’ Remus said and watched her go slightly red, possibly her concentration was ebbing in and out of focus. 

‘Are you coming back to mine tonight?’ She asked, quite innocently.

‘I can.’ Remus smiled. ‘If that would make you happy?’

‘It would.’ She bit her lip gently and smiled. Remus simply allowed his thoughts to wander to his own teeth dragging over her lip, his hands buried in her hair and her quiet moans vibrating against his mouth. ‘Your constant sense of control is incredibly frustrating at times, particularly when your thoughts don’t match that control.’ Angelina joked.

‘Well, would you rather I kiss you gently in quiet corners?’ Remus quickly glanced to make sure no one was watching them. ‘Or would you prefer a much more exhilarating approach?’

‘Exhilarating?’ Angelina breathed as Remus moved closer to her lips, softly grazing over them.

‘Mmm, I am in a constant state of control because if I wasn’t, then nothing would stop me from stripping you down in the middle of the garden, kissing every inch of your body, making you feel all of me inside you and forcing my name to leave your lips without a care who was watching.’ Remus could feel how shallow her breath had become and how dark her eyes were. He slowly pulled back watching her dazed expression with a cheeky smile. ‘Another drink?’

Remus didn’t wait for the answer, he chuckled to himself and went back into the kitchen to grab her another butterbeer, knowing exactly what he had just done. When he went back outside, it was to find Angelina taking deep steady breaths, she laughed when she saw him and shook her head, taking a mouthful of butterbeer.

‘I cannot believe you just did that.’ She said, still smiling. 

‘Well, this is a party and I’m here to have fun.’ 

‘And are you having fun?’

‘Oh yes.’ Remus smirked and sipped his beer, watching Angelina’s face finally go from red to pink as she calmed down. ‘I think I may have had one too many.’ Remus suddenly said, bashfully. ‘Even I can admit it was a little out of character, but I think it got my message across.’

‘Your message?’ Angelina frowned. 

‘Your pleasure is my responsibility and in certain moments, I simply don’t care about anything else.’ Remus found himself be abnormally honest and he wondered briefly where it was coming from. ‘Would you mind if I asked you to finish that so I can take you home and take more responsibility for your pleasure?’

Angelina’s eyebrows shot up in surprise and even Remus couldn’t quite fathom where his question had come from. ‘Did you really just ask me that?’

Remus felt his cheeks light up red. ‘I think I did, I must have had more than I thought.’ He lightly chuckled, idly looking at his almost empty butterbeer bottle. ‘Sorry, I’m not sure what’s come over me.’

‘It’s okay, I’ve nearly finished anyway and they’ll hardly notice if we just leave.’ It was the cheekier side of Angelina that Remus missed so much over the last few years. She gulped down the last mouthful of her butterbeer and turned to him. ‘Take me home, Remus.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this will be the last chapter for a little while as I'm going away for the week for my birthday and won't have any time to update.
> 
> Don't worry though, I will be back with a bang in the next chapters and I promise you it'll be worth the wait!
> 
> Love Jadders92 xx


	13. One Day Like This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I am back after my week away with a nice, long chapter. Hope you enjoy it, more coming soon!  
Love Jadders92 x

I could feel my mind was blurring, but I couldn’t focus on anything that wasn’t the warmth of Remus Lupin, his confidence was jarring and only made me want him that much more. I couldn’t deny that there was a moment where I would have let him act on his private fantasy of worshipping me in the garden there and then, but the sudden change in his eyes, going from almost entirely black to blue told me he was thinking better of it. 

Ever since the moment he’d kissed me on top of the kitchen counter, I couldn’t help but want him to throw away all of his insecurities and make love to me the way he used to.

We apparated away from Benji and Jocelyne’s house to the darkened path, but I had no real time to think, because Remus had kissed me with more intensity than I was ready for. His hands started in my hair, slowly moving down to the back of my legs as he lifted me with such ease. I wrapped my legs around his waist, momentarily grateful that my parents were gone for the night as Remus carried me through the house, occasionally stopping to kiss me harder against a wall, groaning my name against my skin as his hands moved from the back of my legs to the curve of my arse, squeezing the flesh, before he moved again. I was pretty sure that we’d knocked something over on our way up the stairs, Remus thought about fixing it, but I couldn’t stand the space between us and it only meant that he kissed me more passionately.

Finally, I felt the soft comfort of the bed beneath me and all I wanted was for Remus to do everything he said he wanted to do, to kiss every inch of my skin and make me feel whole again. 

I felt him slow down as he took his jacket off, flinging it somewhere behind him, his lips pressing gently to mine as he leaned on his forearms either side of my head. ‘Angelina.’ He whispered against my lips. ‘Tell me you’re ready?’ 

I looked up at his darkened blue eyes, I could feel how hard he was between my legs, I knew that this was all I needed to feel whole once more, to satisfy me.

‘Remus,’ I placed my hand on his jaw, his scruffy, handsome face and smiled. ‘I want you.’

That was all he needed to kiss me hard again, I began unbuttoning his shirt, needing to feel his skin and I was vaguely aware of him putting up a silencing charm, it sent a thrill through me that he thought he would need one and I felt free to relax and enjoy this moment. 

His lips soon began a descent down my jaw and neck, stopping at the neckline of my t-shirt. Remus sat up on his knees and helped me out of his old green cardigan and my white t-shirt, throwing his own shirt behind him in the growing pile of clothes and deciding that I wouldn’t need my jeans or shoes.

I couldn’t help my giggle as Remus struggled to pull them off the whole way, getting caught on my heel. He eventually got it and I could just about make out his cheeky smile in the partial moonlight. Remus placed a kiss first on my the scar on my leg from where I’d been bitten by a lionfish, he moved methodically up to the top of my thigh, using everything he knew about my body to send hot rushes through my entire being, before he descended again and moved up the other leg.

I ran my fingers through his soft, sandy hair as his mouth and tongue began their exploration of my hips, his hands massaging my breasts and strategically removing my bra without my knowing much about it. His long slender fingers worked over my nipples as his tongue ran over my stomach, between my breasts, up my throat and finished with a kiss. ‘Remus.’ I breathed when he moved back to my jaw.

‘Angelina, tell me what you want. Tell me anything you want.’ He begged next to my ear. The muscles of his arms were somehow leaner, I could feel every crevice and every fibre all the way up to his shoulders, before diving once more into his hair.

‘Make me come.’ I whispered, my mouth operating of it’s own accord. Remus groaned, pushing his hips into me and making my back arch, he took that as his cue to once again, kiss his way down to my underwear, which he removed seconds before I felt his tongue run the length of me. ‘Remus.’ I moaned, knowing it wasn’t going to take very long, I was so ready for him. 

‘You’re so wet, Angelina.’ Remus whispered, I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to hear, but it made my fists twist into the unusually soft sheets.

His hands ran up the back of my legs, pushing them apart so that I was completely open to him. Remus started tenderly licking through my folds, savouring each swipe of his tongue, listening for the moment my breathing changed and I needed more, his movements became harsher and quicker and suddenly he was devouring me. I felt him slide his long finger inside me and knew instantly how tight I was from the way his movements stuttered and he growled into me. 

Soon, I couldn’t take anymore and his name came tearing out of my chest. Remus allowed me to fall so gracefully I thought I’d never quite come back, but eventually I felt him place a soft kiss against my entrance and listened to the sound of him removing his own underwear while I regained my breathing.

All noise stopped for a moment and I looked up to see him frowning at me, well, my shoulder. I was about to cover myself up when he leaned down and stopped me. ‘Don’t.’ He whispered. ‘Angelina, I still love you, let me prove it?’ Remus’s wet lips were brushing my own and I swallowed nervously for a moment.

‘Okay.’ I nodded and felt the delicacy of his kiss. His whole body pressed into mine and I could feel every part of him. His hardened length lay between us, rubbing against my now hyper sensitive folds and running his hands through my hair.

Remus paused again for just a fraction of a second before tracing his mouth down the other side of my jaw, I knew exactly where he was going and I needed him to go slow. Thankfully Remus knew that and took his time, finding all the sensitive spots of my neck and running his tongue down to my shoulder. Remus stopped for a moment, before placing a soft kiss to the tip of the scar on my shoulder, I felt my grip tighten momentarily in his hair, before I realised that nothing about what he was doing was hurting, in fact the skin felt somehow more sensitive than it ever had and soon I was begging for more.

‘Never again.’ Remus whispered against the scar, before running his tongue over it again. ‘I promise, never again.’ His opened mouthed kisses became more intense as he tried to remove the painful memory and replace it with a pleasurable one.

‘Remus, please, I need you.’ I groaned against the side of his head. I felt him line himself up with me as he came back to look at my face. His eyes were black and I imagined mine were much the same, he took a moment to scan over my face before smiling.

‘Angelina, I love you so much.’ He whispered and placed a soft kiss to my lips. At the same time, I felt him sliding into me smoothly and slowly, making the pleasure last longer as my back arched and his mouth found my neck once again.

Remus took a moment for me to get used to him and he somehow felt bigger than he had ever felt before, it felt better than I remembered and it made me half laugh.

‘Why are you laughing?’ Remus chuckled.

‘Because,’ I smirked, kissing him hard. ‘It feels so good. I don’t ever want to forget this.’ 

That seemed to be the exact thing to say to get him lifting my leg around his waist so that he pushed deeper into me. He moved slowly at first, but very quickly we realised it simply wasn’t enough and he began thrusting into me at an increased pace, still kissing my sensitive scar and whispering how much he loved me until I felt that familiar surge of energy pulsing through me.

‘Come for me Angelina.’ He growled and I did as I was told, tightening around him as Remus followed me over the edge, thrusting at a slightly different pace making the high last as long as possible for both of us.

‘I love you Remus Lupin.’ I half laughed.

‘I love you Angelina Lockwood.’ Remus panted, kissing me one last time before removing himself from inside me and adjusting ourselves so that we were tucked underneath the warm sheets. I felt the safety of Remus’s arms wrapped around me and never wanted to leave his embrace ever again.

Remus woke the next morning smelling that beautiful light scent that was Angelina’s hair laying across his cheek, he took the opportunity to tighten his embrace around the sleeping figure next to him. He gently kissed below her ear and listened to her hum, pushing her hips back against him.

It took Remus a moment to realise that the light wasn’t coming into the room quite right, it was directed on the other side of the bedroom. He opened his eyes a little more and saw his wardrobe door open and his clothes falling out of it. Remus lifted his head and felt his heart sink. He was in the wrong bedroom. 

‘Angelina.’ He whispered, listening to her hum as she adjusted against him, snuggling closer to him. ‘Angelina, wake up.’ He moved his arm and saw her eyes open quickly to look up at him. ‘Don’t be alarmed, but I believe we may have apparated to the wrong house.’

‘What?’ She suddenly said, moving to get up.

‘It’s fine,’ Remus kept his voice low. ‘It’s alright, this is my father’s house.’

‘Your father’s house?’ Angelina exclaimed.

‘Shh,’ Remus insisted. ‘I can hear him downstairs.’ 

Angelina was panicking slightly, but Remus couldn’t help but start laughing.

‘Why are you laughing?’ She whispered while he tried to stay quiet, burying his face in her warm neck.

‘Because you’re the first woman I’ve ever brought home.’ Remus kissed her as he manoeuvred his body over Angelina to find his clothes that he’d flung off the night before. ‘I’ve also never had anyone else in my bedroom. I’m sure my father will be… well… I actually have no idea how he’s going to react.’ Remus was still laughing to himself as he quickly put his shirt around his shoulders. He tried to find her t-shirt from the night before, but somehow it had gotten lost in amongst his own clothes. He quickly threw her one of his clean t-shirts. ‘I’d best go and see him and try to explain.’

‘You really think he won’t have figured it out?’ Angelina half laughed.

Remus just ran his hand through his hair and chuckled, leaning down to kiss her. 

Remus had managed to zip up his trousers and began buttoning his shirt as he descended the stairs of his father’s small cosy cottage. It was a lot like the Burrow, cobbled together by two people who loved each other and fit for a small family to make a home in. His father was making tea when Remus arrived in the kitchen, humming along to the radio.

‘Good morning, Remus.’ His father said cheerfully. ‘You hungry?’

‘Erm… yes, I suppose.’ Remus ran his hand through his hair again, unsure how to approach the situation. ‘Father, I should apologise-‘

‘Is Angie alright with egg on toast? I’ve not got much else in.’ Lyall cut his son off and brought down two mugs from the top shelf of his cupboard. He turned to Remus who was at a bit of a loss. ‘Heard you two coming in last night,’ he explained, and it made Remus lean back against the opposite wall of the kitchen next to the stairs, rubbing his temples in embarrassment. ‘Sounds like it was quite the party last night.’

‘Look, I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have-‘

‘Remus.’ Lyall stopped his son in his tracks. ‘It’s alright, no harm was done and I’m glad you both made it somewhere safe in the state you were. Now, why don’t you stop hiding the poor girl in your room and-‘ 

Lyall didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence because both men turned towards the stairs, hearing the slight creak of the second step from the bottom.

‘Angie.’ Lyall smiled. ‘It’s nice to see you again.’

Angelina looked exactly the way Remus wanted to see her every morning. She wore his old grey t-shirt and green cardigan along with his thick grey socks, her hair was in that wonderful state of morning unruliness and Remus could smell her sweet shampoo from where he was standing. Those big blue orbs smiled at his father as she quietly slipped past Remus, giving him an amused look.

‘It’s lovely to see you again, Lyall.’ Angelina said, hugging his father. ‘I’m so sorry if we disturbed you last night, someone apparated to the wrong house for some reason.’

‘Oh, don’t you worry about that,’ Lyall chuckled. ‘I was telling my son I’m just happy you both made it safe and sound. I’ll put the kettle on, you take a seat.’ 

Remus just watched the strange scene play out; Angelina sat at the head of the table, the seat Lyall offered, and listened to his stories of a young Remus never having the confidence to bring any girls home. He eventually sat next to Angelina, giving up all sense of normality and watched her tired features reacting to his father’s stories. He eventually slid his hand over hers and ran his thumb over the back of her hand.

‘…but I have to say,’ Lyall put down two plates in front of them and turned back for the tea. ‘I am very glad that you made it home from your research trip. I cannot tell you how worried Remus was, but I understand that you made some interesting findings, so of course, he was glad that you were pursuing your ambitions.’

Angelina momentarily looked in questioning to Remus, who didn’t have time to explain, but she quickly got the picture anyway.

‘You’d be very proud of your son,’ she smiled. ‘He’s very supportive of my research, it makes the long trips a lot easier.’

‘He gets that patience from his mother.’ Lyall said, idly. ‘His temper, he gets from me I’m afraid, but don’t you let him push you around.’

‘I wouldn’t dream of it.’ Angelina chuckled, never really having seen Remus truly lose his temper the way his father was describing.

Remus noticed that his father seemed very revitalised that morning, like the appearance of Angelina had brought out a new energy in him.

‘Are you not joining us?’ Remus asked.

‘Oh no, I’m afraid I’m late for work as it is.’ Lyall waved the question away. ‘I just wanted to make sure you were both fed before I left.’ He quickly checked his watch and rolled his eyes. ‘I’d best get going, I’ve double the work to do these days and it won’t get done on it’s own. Have a good day and don’t be a stranger Angie, despite my son’s manners, you’re welcome here any time.’

Lyall grabbed his coat and began wandering towards the front door, Remus quickly followed him out, giving an apologetic smile to Angelina. 

‘Will I see you tonight, Remus?’ Lyall asked, happily wandering down the path of his old cottage. 

‘Erm… I’m not sure, I think so.’ Remus shook his head. ‘Look, I’m sorry about turning up unannounced last night, I’d had a bit to drink and couldn’t focus and-‘

‘Remus.’ Lyall held his hand up. ‘It’s perfectly alright, we all make silly mistakes and no one got hurt.’ He adjusted his dark coat and smiled at his son. ‘I’m very happy that you and Angie are back together and it looks to me that you’re both in a very happy place… though I’m not sure how you could claim to have been that drunk, I thought with your condition it would take a couple of crates to obscure your focus that much?’ Remus frowned, realising that his father was right. ‘Anyway, let me know what your plans are for the rest of the week and I’ll see you when I see you.’

The was a sudden crack as Lyall apparated off to work, leaving Remus a little bewildered. He trudged back up the path to his father’s cottage and mentally went over his actions from the previous evening. He’d barely drank four butterbeers, hardly enough for him to feel the effects and yet he behaved so uncharacteristically.

Angelina was sipping her tea, watching the door where Remus had followed his father out, her knees pulled into her chest and he hoped that he could wake every morning to the sight of her watching him in that way. He smiled, forgetting all about what his father had said and wandered over to Angelina. 

Remus very carefully pried her mug away from her grip, placing it back down on the table, she frowned at him momentarily before Remus leaned down sliding his hands up her jaw and into her thick hair. She tasted like warm sweet tea, and Remus found himself asking for permission to enter her mouth, which she granted easily as his tongue slipped past her lips, groaning as he brought his body down to his knees, slotting between her legs and not being able to get quite enough of the way she tasted. 

Angelina was responsive up until a point where she began to slow the kiss, her fingers dropping down his chest as Remus began to calm down a little. He placed a few more soft kisses against her, just absorbing the way she felt, before finally pulling away and smiling up at her darkened blue eyes. 

‘I am sorry that we didn’t apparate to the right place,’ he said. ‘But we can at least be grateful that I managed get a silencing charm up on the door before anything truly obscene was heard.’ Angelina giggled, kissing him softly again. ‘It’s strange though, I don’t remember drinking that much last night.’

Angelina took a breath and stroked his cheek with her thumb. ‘I think, erm… I think I might know what happened.’ She admitted and Remus frowned. ‘Well, I was finding it difficult to concentrate and I might have been thinking about… well, you and me, in the garden and then you said it…’ Angelina looked down at her hands. ‘I wanted you to just take me away and… I think it’s my fault and I’m sorry if you weren’t ready, you said you weren’t ready yesterday afternoon and I think I just-‘

‘Angelina.’ Remus stopped her speaking so that he could catch up for a moment. ‘You’re saying you think you influenced my behaviour?’ She nodded and Remus just watched her. ‘Then why wasn’t anyone else effected?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘If you were losing concentration, surely others would have been effected.’

‘Remus, it was you I wanted,’ Angelina shook her head. ‘I wanted you to just… have me, I was frustrated and then suddenly you were saying those things that are so unlike you.’

Remus couldn’t help but laugh, he sat back up on his chair and ran his hand through his hair. ‘Angelina, you’ve been inside my head, is it really so shocking that I might already have been thinking something incredibly obscene about you?’ She just frowned and half laughed. ‘Look,’ Remus put his hand out for her to place hers into. ‘Do you feel like I stepped over a line last night?’

‘No.’

‘Did you want me to make love to you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Do you think you could have possibly forced me to want you in that way?’

She didn’t answer.

‘The answer is no.’ Remus smiled. ‘Angelina, I was in a good place last night, so were you and despite what we discussed on our kitchen counter, we both seemed to be ready at that moment. I don’t think anyone could have forced me to want you anymore than I already did.’ He gently pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.

‘So, you’re not upset?’

Remus kissed her skin again and smiled. ‘The only thing I’m upset about, is apparating to the wrong house, but even that seems to have worked out for the best.’

Angelina laughed and rested on her other hand watching him. ‘Okay.’ She said, satisfied that everything was okay. 

‘Okay.’ Remus nodded and let her hand go to drink his tea. He let her finish her breakfast, occasionally exchanging satisfied grins, before he asked anything. ‘Are you alright?’

Angelina looked up at him suddenly and frowned. ‘I’m fine.’ She said, finishing her tea. 

‘Are you sure?’ Remus asked again, leaning on the table. 

She mirrored his movement and he found himself face to face with a slightly tired Angelina, trying to assess his question. ‘What are you really asking?’

Remus swallowed nervously. ‘Your shoulder,’ he said. ‘I wasn’t sure if I was going too far, or if you even wanted me to-‘

‘I wanted you to.’ Angelina interrupted him. ‘Believe me, I wanted you to. It felt so good.’ Her body seemed to relax a little more at the memory and Remus felt his cheeks turning pink. 

Remus smiled and for a moment they just watched each other. ‘Thank you for trusting me again.’ He said.

‘Thank you for taking responsibility for my pleasure again.’ Angelina shot back and it made him laugh. 

Remus eventually cleaned up from breakfast, making her another cup of tea while Angelina wandered around his father’s kitchen. She stopped at a bookshelf where a picture sat of his parent’s wedding.

‘Your mother’s so beautiful.’ Angelina said quietly, hugging her mug against her chest, watching Lyall and Hope laughing as they danced and finished with a kiss. 

Remus stood behind her and looked down at the picture as well. ‘She was a very beautiful woman and my father never ceases to remind me of that.’

‘He said you get your patience from her and your temper from him?’ Remus had a feeling she would bring it up again and slid his arms around her waist, kissing the top of her head. ‘I know how patient you can be, I’ve reaped the benefits of it.’ Remus chuckled into her hair, kissing his way down to her neck. ‘But, what kind of temper are we talking about?’ 

‘One I never intend to expose you to again.’ Remus said cryptically, he could already feel her curiosity spiking. He kissed her cheek and allowed Angelina to turn and face him. ‘You need to understand that what happened at the end of the war is something I’ve never been able to cope with properly,’ Remus gently brought his hands up to her jaw, stroking the skin up into her hair, he couldn’t seem to get enough of how soft it was. ‘And I never realised just how much pain I was causing myself until his name was mentioned again… I am so sorry, Angelina-‘

‘Don’t.’ Angelina stopped him. ‘We’ve already done this, I don’t want to spend the rest of my life apologising for making a mistake and I don’t want you to either.’

Remus smiled gently and stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. ‘Okay, no more apologising.’ He agreed and kissed her forehead, suddenly grinning widely. ‘I enjoyed last night, though I think we may have knocked over my father’s paperweight.’

‘Well, that’s hardly my fault.’ Angelina said, sauntering into the kitchen with her empty mug. ‘I wasn’t the one trying to get us upstairs.’

Remus laughed and leaned on the doorframe between the kitchen and the living room, watching her rinse out her mug. ‘Not your fault? You think so?’

‘How was any of it my fault?’

‘First thing you did was invite me to a party where you knew it was possible for me to get drunk,’ Remus slowly approached her, making each step just a little more exciting. ‘You lowered my inhibitions, second thing you did was wear my clothes which you are aware I enjoy an obscene amount and the third thing you did… the most severe of them all…’

‘Go on?’ Angelina smiled, backing away a little. 

‘You told me to take you home and once that bedroom door closes, you know exactly what your body does to me.’ Remus scooped her up in his arms, listening to her giggle at his sudden movement and take her back up to his bedroom.

Angelina laughed as Remus threw her onto his bed, closing the door behind him, when he turned back it was to see her still laughing and watching him from his bed. Remus took a moment to look at her still wearing all of his clothes, she looked so good, he couldn’t explain why he liked seeing her in his things, but he loved the way it made him feel, like she was somehow a part of him.

‘Like what you see?’ 

Remus just laughed and climbed onto the bed, kissing her harshly and making slow, intense love to her once again. He made sure to spend the time kissing her scars, taking away any memory of pain that he could and replacing it with something pleasurable. Remus was surprised at her eagerness to please him in the same way, but could never resist her lips against his skin, her open-mouthed kisses were euphoric against his scars.

The one thing Remus was sure he could do forever was have her sleep against his chest while his fingers dragged through her soft hair and drifted over her shoulder, the sound of her soft breathing settled him in a way he couldn’t quite explain. 

‘Can I ask a question?’ Angelina said, sleepily. Remus chuckled, kissing her forehead and letting her leg drape over his beneath the sheets.

‘Of course.’

‘Why don’t you let me… you know… do the same stuff to you, that you do to me?’ 

Remus felt her cheeks heat up against his chest as he frowned. ‘What do you mean?’ His lips grazed her forehead. Angelina sighed and for a moment Remus thought she wouldn’t answer. It suddenly hit him what she might have been talking about and it only made him chuckle. ‘You mean… why don’t I let you go down on me as much as I go down on you?’

‘Yes.’ Her voice was quiet and he could tell it was still a point of awkwardness for her.

‘It’s not that I don’t let you,’ Remus kissed her head again, chuckling to himself. ‘It’s just that I enjoy giving more than receiving, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to refuse if the offer’s there.’

At least that made her laugh into him and place small kisses against him. ‘Okay. I just don’t want you to feel like… oh, I don’t know,’ Angelina held him a little tighter. ‘I just want you to enjoy things as well.’

‘Trust me, just being in the same bed as you is all the enjoyment I need.’ Remus sighed, pulling her body closer to his. 

He couldn’t tell how long they in bed for, but Remus enjoyed the time they had together, he let her sleep on and off for a while and thought about how wonderful it would feel to look out of his window and see the lake and mountains as a backdrop. Remus found a new determination to rebuild the cottage for Angelina, he wanted that life with her, to be free from worry and to always have this beautiful woman close to him was the dream.

Remus let her sleep for a little while longer, grabbing the book he’d been reading on his bedside table to finish while she rested. Angelina woke laughing at him a little, but he didn’t mind, she was comfortable, and he was happy to just stay in bed for as long as she wanted. 

‘You need to go home, don’t you?’ Remus asked, she had somehow positioned herself on top of him, warm, strong legs either side of his hips, her body lined up with his perfectly for him to feel her every curve, while she kissed him lazily. He could have gotten very used to this. 

‘I do.’ Angelina hummed against his mouth. Remus gently smiled and ran his hands through her hair, mostly just to move it away from her face. ‘I need to get some stuff boxed up and sent over to the shop for next month.’

Remus looked up at her dark eyes, half closed from how relaxed she was on top of him and it only made her look that much more adorable in the afternoon light. 

‘Are you heading back to the house soon?’ She asked and Remus didn’t answer, he just kissed her again, tasting her lips between his teeth, mapping out the inside of her mouth and humming his approval. He felt her hips shifting ever so slightly against his and it only made his arousal that much more prominent.

‘Sorry.’ Remus chuckled. ‘You just look so good.’ He kissed her again, feeling her soft skin beneath his thumbs. ‘And yes, I will be heading back to the house soon.’

‘You know,’ she whispered. ‘I don’t have to leave straight away.’ Angelina smiled into another kiss and Remus was never going to force her away from him. She pressed a much more forceful kiss against his lips, delving her own tongue in to taste him and Remus was taken pleasantly by surprise, he allowed her to run her hands over his chest, tracing his scars, before suddenly stopping and smiling. ‘Will you let me please you?’ She whispered and Remus felt all the breath leave his lungs at once.

‘Yes.’ He breathed and immediately felt her push her hips a little harder into his, making his body ignite with excitement. 

Angelina explored his mouth and repeated movements that made him moan a little louder. She took the time to kiss down his neck, his chest, slowly and passionately going over each one of his scars, making him pant a little heavier each time as she got lower and lower down his body, running her tongue over his hips, teasing him as she got closer and then moved elsewhere. 

Remus couldn’t help his half laugh when he realised what she was doing, he gasped when he felt the softness of her cheek brush his tip and took a steady breath to calm himself down. It wasn’t as if this was the first time she had ever gone down on him, but he remembered that she was especially nervous every time she had done. Again, Remus didn’t mind, the fact that she even wanted to was enough for him. 

Her lips pressed so lightly against his shaft, dragging all the way up to the tip, sending hot rushes throughout his body. Remus noticed that his hands had moved away from her hair and began knotting his fists in the sheets as her tongue came to lick the length of him, kissing his tip so lightly. 

Remus needed a moment to breathe and placed his hand on her shoulder, to indicate she needed to slow down a little. Angelina paused for a moment, panicking, before she saw how hard he was panting and half laughed at him. 

He took the opportunity to adjust himself to sit up a little and pushed his fingers into her hair, pushing it away from her face. Angelina ran her tongue over the length of him again and brought her hand to wrap around the base. Remus knew exactly what she was about to do and took a deep steady breath before she wrapped her soft, warm, wet mouth around the tip, slowly and steadily moving downwards.

‘Angelina.’ Remus let his head fall back as he groaned her name, trying to stay conscious of how tight his grip was in her hair. 

He felt her humming around him, vibrating through his hips and making him feel that hot rush surging through him once again. Remus opened his eyes, wanting to see her face. She was so pretty. Her beautiful, darkened, blue eyes watching him, her warm, wet mouth surrounding him, while her hand followed the movement of her reddening lips. He couldn’t help himself, Remus brought his thumb down to her jaw, feeling himself on the other side of her cheek and it was enough to send his head spinning. 

‘Wait.’ He panted, feeling the ball of energy about to explode. He didn’t want to come like this, he wanted to be inside her, have her come with him. ‘I need to stop… it feels far too good, Angelina.’ 

He watched her slowly remove him from her mouth and smile her beautiful smile up at him. 

‘Come here.’ Remus smiled, letting her hair go and feeling how much softer her lips were, they were clearly sore and it only made Remus groan into her at how much she had wanted to please him. 

Angelina began moving so that she straddled him and without much warning, she used her hand to line him up with her and waited for him to indicate he was ready. Remus took a steady breath, hoping she was ready because he wouldn’t last very long inside her.

Remus held her hips and gently guided her down around him. He’d felt her more times in the last few hours than he had all year and it still surprised him just how good it felt to be a part of her. She was so ready for him, he slid all the way in and reached so deep inside her, he always worried that it hurt, but it only ever seemed to cause her more pleasure. 

‘Angelina.’ He sat up and kissed everywhere he could reach, her chest, her neck, her jaw and listened to her moaning quietly. 

Remus let her move however she needed to, he could hold on for her. He moved his hands to her breasts, massaging and kneading the flesh, her head fell back and Remus placed his hand midway up her back so that she didn’t fall, lowering his mouth to her nipple and forcing his name to leave her lips, it always sounded so beautiful when she said it.

He suddenly felt her tighten around him, she was so close and he needed her to come. ‘Angelina, come for me.’ Remus growled, he couldn’t hold on much longer, but luckily he didn’t need to. 

‘Remus.’ Her grip in his hair and on his shoulder tightened and she clenched harder around him, forcing him to come with her.

Angelina slowly relaxed around him, calming down and loosening her grip in his hair and allowing him to place small, delicate kisses against the scar on her shoulder. He wasn’t quite ready to let her go just yet, he wanted to just hold her for just a little while longer. Remus kissed from the very bottom of where his jaw had snapped down into her, all the way to the tip of her shoulder, his tongue tenderly licked the skin, tasting that it was vaguely salty. He lifted his lips to her neck and listened to her soft sigh as he lightly kissed every sensitive patch of skin.

Eventually he was able to calm himself down enough to help Angelina remove himself from inside her and lay down next to him. Remus propped himself up on his elbow and pulled the sheet up to keep her cooling skin warm, he placed his hand over her waist and began placing soft, lazy kisses against her shoulder. 

They didn’t speak while they rested, but Angelina would occasionally look at him and half laugh at how relaxed they both looked. Remus managed to get them both up and in the shower, he methodically cleaned her body, taking care over her scars or any small red marks he’d left behind, worried he’d put more pressure on her than she was happy with, but whenever he raised his concerns, she just smiled, biting her lip and saying how she actually enjoyed it more than she cared to admit. 

Remus was satisfied that they had gotten through what was a very rough patch in their relationship, they weren’t quite out of the woods yet, but they agreed that given more time they would make it. 

He didn’t want to say goodbye to her, he wanted to take her back to bed and never leave again, but that wasn’t something he could ever ask of her and it wasn’t really something he wanted for her. The truth of it was, Remus’s time was really only being occupied by Angelina and he knew it wasn’t exactly healthy, but that was why he was renovating the house. He was trying to stay occupied so that he could devote the time to her that she deserved with as much of him as he could give her.

The one thing that bothered him was when he went to sleep every night, he could still hear the echoing whispers of the white orb that sat at the bottom of his drawer. Angelina just hadn’t brought it up again.


	14. Where's Clara?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the huge delay in updating, I'm currently in the middle of a big move and I've had no time to sit and write, but I hope this chapter makes up for it, I should have some time soon to sit and get the next part of this story written so bear with me a little longer.
> 
> On a side note: I've realised that we're over half way through the story and that is a very scary thought!
> 
> Anyway enjoy and don't forget to follow me on tumblr if you could be so kind? 
> 
> love Jadders92 x

I’d found out that Harry Potter was chosen as the fourth Triwizard champion the second I’d gotten back to the house, I wasn’t quite sure of how that was even possible, but suddenly I was immensely worried for him. The other thing that was worrying me was something that Lyall had said before he left for work, I couldn’t quite remember what it was straight away, but it kept popping up in the back of my mind. 

Leading up to the first task, I made sure to keep tabs on the goings on of Hogwarts, Remus and Sirius had managed to knock down the wall between the kitchen and the living room and began rebuilding a few things around the rest of the house.

I decided it was probably best to set up some more advanced protective charms around the house, not just because of Sirius, but my father had insisted it would come in handy in the future to stop unwanted visitors apparating straight to the front door. I set up the protective charms at a distance of half a mile in every direction around the house while Sirius and Remus were arguing about how to fix the stable door at the back of the house that led towards the forest. 

I’d found out that Sirius’s old family home had been left to him by default, given that there was no one else to inherit it. He was the only Black left and apparently the house elf would only serve someone with the name Black. He didn’t seem to want to talk much about Kreacher, so I didn’t ask, but his company was wildly refreshing and his stories of a young Remus were hilariously detailed. I was seeing a whole new side to him, one that I enjoyed to no end.

Sirius was keen to help out as much as he could, apparently his life had become either very boring or very dangerous in such a short space of time and renovating was the best thing to happen to him since getting out of Azkaban. Every day he was more excited to do something else, though I thought it was more the excitement of spending time with his old friend that kept him going.

He was still an incredibly handsome man, his beard was a little more tamed than it had been when I saw him in Azkaban and his face looked more defined than gaunt, I was glad he was eating more than just scraps. Sirius Black was an incredible survivor, but he didn’t need to be anymore.

We’d had perfected a routine that all three of us were happy with, Remus would work on the house seemingly alone, Sirius would make an appearance when it was safe to do so and I would visit when I had the time between helping run the shop and my research into the Puffapods. I’d heard from my mother that Kingsley was leading the search for Sirius Black and had caught wind of him somewhere in Tibet, unfortunately the minister was getting agitated over the lack of progress being reported in the Prophet and the rumour was he was about to ask me for help. 

Remus had come to my lab to ask about an idea he’d had for the house, but his letter sounded a little off and I wondered if that was the real reason he’d decided to visit. It had been raining on and off, the last of the summer warmth disappearing as autumn began and if it was possible, Remus looked even more handsome in amongst the autumn colours. 

He shifted awkwardly in the doorway as I was tidying up one of the benches covered in books.

‘Morning.’ I smiled over at him. ‘Something wrong?’ 

‘I just wanted to come by and see how you were getting on.’ Remus cautiously stepped into the lab and I frowned at him, not exactly believing that was his only intention. 

‘I’m fine, just trying to reorganise things a bit.’ 

‘I could fix your bookshelf again?’ Remus offered and I was even more suspicious. 

‘What’s up, Remus?’ I sighed, half laughing. 

He paused for a moment, unsure of how to approach whatever he was thinking about. He put his hand in his pocket and pulled out what looked to be a white, smoky orb. ‘I came to give you this… you’ve not asked for it again since before the summer and I thought you’d probably want it to finish your research into the brothers.’

I stopped everything. Remus held the prophecy in his hand, the answer to the problem of the brothers, everything I’d been asking myself about who I was and what I was really destined for placed delicately in the palm of his hand.

I approached him slowly, not being able to take my eyes off of what looked to be a very fragile and breakable looking glass orb. I slowly wrapped my fingers around the cool glass and felt the surprisingly light sphere in my own hand for the first time. It even felt fragile, like holding it too tightly would crack it. I wasn’t quite sure what to do with it now that I held it, I could feel the power of it, but strangely I couldn’t specify the type of magic that it contained, like it was protected somehow. 

I took the prophecy over to my desk, finding something sturdy to place it on delicately. I couldn’t help but just stare at it for a few moments, wondering what exactly it was I was supposed to do with it. 

‘Angelina?’ Remus shifted behind me, I’d almost forgotten he was standing there. ‘Can you work out what it’s saying?’

I sighed and leaned down to look at it a little more closely. I had no idea how to decipher any of it without breaking the glass and potentially destroying the prophecy within. 

‘I’m not sure.’ I said, honestly. ‘I’ll need to spend some time with it first.’ 

‘Well, let me know if there’s anything I can do to help.’ I could feel him directly behind me. ‘Remember you’re not in this alone, Angelina.’

I turned to face Remus and it seemed as if there was a genuine worry in his eyes that I was about to do this on my own. 

‘I know.’ I half smiled, though I was a lot more interested in the orb at that point. ‘I’ll keep you updated on anything I find, I promise.’

‘Good.’ Remus smiled, bringing his hand up to stroke my cheek. ‘You get used to the whispering and after a while it just sounds like wind passing through a crack in the wall.’ I frowned a little confused and Remus placed a small kiss to my forehead. ‘Anyway, I’d best get back to the house, Sirius should be working on the pipes in the kitchen just now, then it’s just the loft to finish off and everything will be done.’

‘The pipes?’

‘Yes, well,’ Remus was suddenly bashful. ‘When we took the wall down, we may have disrupted a little of the plumbing into the kitchen.’ I couldn’t help but chuckle. ‘But I promise, there will be a working kitchen by the time we’re done, which will be very soon I hope.’

‘Really?’ I couldn’t help my smile.

‘Really.’ Remus nodded. ‘And as I’ve said a hundred times over the last couple of months, there is absolutely no pressure for you to move in straight away, I can wait for as long as you need to decide.’ I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist, sighing into his chest. Remus kissed the top of my head again. ‘I know that the first task is a few days away, so I’ll not ask you to come up to see anything before that, but just so you know, I think Sirius has been speaking to Harry, I’m not exactly sure how, but I know what he’s like and it’s risky, so anything you can say to Harry that might keep him a little safer would be appreciated.’

‘Of course.’ I looked up at Remus’s handsome face, he was tired, exhausted and possibly happier than I’d seen him in a while. ‘I’ll do what I can, as always.’ 

‘Thank you.’ Remus moved a strand of hair away from my face and kissed me softly. ‘I’m never getting my cardigan back, am I?’ 

I just laughed into another kiss. ‘The odds aren’t in your favour.’ I smiled and kissed him once more. 

‘I didn’t think so.’ 

Remus sighed as I walked him back down to the back door. 

‘I’ll see you soon, Angelina.’ Remus smiled, kissing my cheek and then my lips. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ I half laughed, half pushed him out of the door. Remus smiled like he hadn’t quite adjusted to hearing me say it yet and I just loved him all the more for it.

Once Remus had apparated away from the house, I ran back upstairs to assess the orb. It hadn’t moved and I wondered if I really expected it to. It just sat there, the white smoke twisting inside the glass and all I seemed to be able to do was watch it and hope something would happen.

‘Angie.’ I voice choked in the back of my mind. ‘We need to talk.’

‘I’m not interested right now.’ I told the brother and sat back in my chair to continue watching the orb for most of the day.

The few days before the first task I spent reading everything I could on prophecies, there really wasn’t much to read and I couldn’t find anything that I didn’t already know about them. I may have needed to look for information elsewhere.

I secured the orb inside Tenzin’s chest, I’d taken a risk and opened it only a few months beforehand to find a note from the Oracle himself stating he knew I’d be curious and impatient, so he secured the wooden chest with another inside and warned me to wait until the time was right to open it and not a moment before. I had no idea when the time would be right, but I needed to trust my instincts and his. 

I placed the chest somewhere safe and apparated to the ministry, where I was meeting Benji and catching a portkey to Hogwarts. I was keen to spend as little time at the ministry as possible and even less time with Barty Crouch, he was close with Fudge and the less I had to do with both of them the better.

I arrived at the Aurors office where Benji was in good spirits since coming back from holiday with Jocelyne, the break seemed to do him the world of good and I was glad his stress levels were lowering with time. 

‘Alright, Angie?’ He said, hugging me.

‘Good… yeah, good.’ I nodded, Benji knew me better than that and tilted his head to let me know he didn’t believe me, but didn’t say anything. It was probably for the best seeing as we were surrounded by Aurors. 

We eventually met with Crouch in the reception of the ministry and took a portkey to Hogwarts. The task was in the same place as it had been for me and Crouch had insisted that I be the one to present the champions with the miniature dragons for them to choose. I didn’t argue, I couldn’t really see the point of it, so just followed Crouch into the Champions tent.

It was a harsh moment to walk into the same tent I’d sat in before facing a dragon and thinking I was going to die. I hated the nostalgia of it. The last time I was there, Remus had begged me to survive, if nothing else, just survive. I was so naïve and so unprepared for facing anything remotely dangerous.

‘Angie.’ Harry smiled as I stepped into the tent.

‘Alright Harry.’ I nodded and looked down at him adjusting his arm guards. I helped him secure them properly, again hating how familiar it felt to me. ‘You ready for this?’

Harry just gave me single nod that wasn’t at all convincing. 

‘Yeah, I was terrified as well,’ I sighed. ‘The key is keep moving, stay calm make sure you have a game plan. Do you know what you’re going to do?’

‘I’m a fair flyer, so I’ve been practising accio.’ He swallowed nervously.

‘A broomstick?’

‘Yeah, why? Is that I bad idea?’

‘No.’ I shook my head, half laughing. ‘I just don’t know why I never thought of that. Of course, you’re only allowed a wand, but you can summon things so a broom makes perfect sense.’

‘Champions gather round.’ Crouch encouraged and Benji handed me the red velvet bag while he introduced the task, not that there was any point, everyone already knew what was coming and presumably had prepared for it. Nothing ever really changed.

‘…the Horntail.’ I heard Harry whisper just before he placed his hand inside the bag. He pulled out a miniature figure of the Hungarian Horntail and I felt myself physically react to seeing it again. No one missed it either.

I cleared my throat and excused myself for a moment. Suddenly I could feel the heat of the Horntail’s fire on my face, the whip of its tail slamming hard into my chest and suddenly I couldn’t breathe, my chest was tight, every part of my body that the horntail had hit flared with pain. The ache I felt for days afterwards began settling in and suddenly Benji came into view.

‘Angie, you okay?’ He frowned and I felt sweat beginning to stream down my face. 

‘I’m fine.’ I nodded, but he wasn’t having any of it.

‘No you’re not, tell me what’s wrong?’ He demanded, like I was one of his children in distress.

‘I said, I’m fine.’ I snapped.

Benji just sighed, putting his hands on his hips, but he didn’t force the matter too harshly. ‘It was the dragon wasn’t it?’ I didn’t say anything, instead I was resisting the urge to massage my aching shoulder. ‘You know, it’s a really common thing to experience post traumatic stress, a lot of people suffer in the same way after particularly hard events.’  
‘I’m not traumatised, Benji.’ It was the memory that was making me so aggressive, I knew it and Benji was probably right.

‘Well then you must be a psychopath,’ he stated, shrugging. ‘Because only psychopaths face up to a dragon, nearly lose their life at sixteen and come out of it feeling fine.’ 

I couldn’t resist much longer, I brought my hand up to ease the tension in my shoulder.

‘Angie, you faced a dragon, it tried to kill you, it nearly did, you didn’t talk about how you really felt about that to anyone and now you’re repeating the event in almost every way possible.’ Benji carefully explained and once again he was right. I never talked about it, not really, not to anyone. ‘Angie, there’s no shame in it, but you need to deal with this, it’s not healthy to leave so much unsaid.’

Where had I heard that before? Remus.

I sighed and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I could block this out, surely I was capable of blocking it out, I’d trained with Tibetan Oracles so that I could focus my mind on what I needed to and ignore everything that got in the way. 

‘I’m just under a lot of stress at the moment.’ I said, Benji sighed and looked away almost shaking his head. I had a quick look behind me to check if anyone was around. ‘Remus gave me the prophecy a couple of weeks ago.’ I said quietly. ‘And there’s something else in the back of my mind, something that I keep missing, but it keeps creeping up on me.’

‘What do you mean?’ Benji folded his arms.

‘It’s like…’ I couldn’t quite figure out how to describe it. ‘It’s like the feeling you get when you know someone’s following you, but every time you turn around the feeling disappears and you forget why you turned in the first place.’ 

Benji ran his hand through his hair let out a deep breath. ‘Okay,’ he said. ‘I still think you’re suffering trauma, but I trust you.’

Benji wasn’t sure what to make of Angie, she just wasn’t herself. She was definitely suffering some kind of post traumatic stress, just the way she looked at the horntail with such fear and how she couldn’t stop sweating or rubbing her hand over the areas he remembered she was stabbed with the dragon’s thorns. The memory was playing out in her mind again, he’d seen it in Aurors who’d spent too much time in the field without properly recovering, the fear and the instinct to run away as quickly as possible. 

Benji led Angie up to the box to watch the first champion, this year it was students from the American school Ilvermorny and the Russian, Koldovstoretz school. The Russians were not too dissimilar to the Bulgarians from Durmstrang, they were tough and unafraid of dark magic, it was probably playing on Angie’s senses, being unable to block all of it out. The Americans were a little cocky, but they seemed good-natured in general and produced some very powerful young witches and wizards.

Angie didn’t seem to care much for the attention she got whilst back at Hogwarts, she hardly seemed interested in the actual task, clapping politely when the champions did well and feeling the pain of any losses. Harry was next and Angie had disappeared to see him before he faced the Horntail. Benji was asked by several people where the veteran Triwizard winner had gone to and he made up some generic excuse about needing to stretch her legs.

The task was aggressive and about as hard on Angie as Benji thought it would be, everyone was trying to see what she thought of the competitors and Benji found himself acting more like a body guard than an Auror. He didn’t mind helping his friend out and he didn’t mind keeping her safe from the excited tournament fans, but what he minded more than anything was the constant look of fear that sat behind her eyes. 

Watching the Horntail chase Harry around the castle clearly upset her more than she would ever admit to him, but she didn’t need to say anything. The task was soon over and Harry made it out alive and relatively unharmed, Angie had given a huge sigh of relief and it was the only time she showed any sign of actually being okay with what she was seeing. Everyone had begun walking back to the castle and Angie stopped by the lake, letting people pass her so that she didn’t need to put herself under any pressure.

‘We’re twenty-four years old.’ Angie stated, her hands in her coat pockets as she stared out at the water. ‘You’ve got four year old children, a house, stable jobs and a marriage that will last forever… David should have been able to make things work with Cassie, if I’d just paid a little more attention, spoken to him about the drinking then she may not have given up on him.’

‘Angie, that wasn’t your fault.’ Benji tried to reassure her.

‘No, it wasn’t.’ She replied and it left Benji more confused than before. ‘Remus and I… we shouldn’t be where we are right now, we should be living in that house together, but we’re not because I went to Tibet, Darren didn’t marry Clara because we have these things… inside… us.’

She stopped speaking, slowing before coming to a complete halt as if something had been realised, and Benji couldn’t quite remember what it was she had been saying in the first place. Angie turned around, she was pale, like she’d seen a ghost. 

‘Benji, when’s the last time you heard from Clara?’ Angie was serious, but Benji was struggling to focus on what it was she was asking. ‘Benji, listen to me, listen to what I’m asking you. Where is Clara?’

‘I… I don’t know, she…’ It was like what she was saying just slipped away from his grasp.

‘Benji, I need you to go and talk to Lyall and ask him where Clara is. Where did she go?’ Angie stepped closer to him, but he couldn’t really figure it out. ‘Benji, I think I might know what happened, but you need to trust me just for a while longer, please just trust me.’ Angie took his hand and grazed her wand over his palm, Clara’s name appeared and Benji just frowned.

It was like when he looked away from his hand he forgot about what was written there, but when he looked backed, he remembered that no one had seen Clara for nearly two years with no explanation as to where she had disappeared to.

‘You have to find Clara,’ Angie begged. ‘I have a very bad feeling about what happened to her and I need you to help me find out the truth. Will you help me Benji?’

Benji just stared down at his palm, trying hard to keep the name in the centre of his mind and trying to hold onto the question. He nodded and looked up at his best friend. 

‘What are you going to do?’ He asked, still trying to keep a hold of the name.

‘For now, nothing. If I’m right, then my involvement will only delay your progress and I have a feeling there will be other things to occupy my time with over the next few months.’ Angie explained and gave Benji a half smile. ‘I’m so sorry to ask you to do this, Benji, but I wouldn’t trust anyone else with this.’

Benji understood and eventually they both left to head back to the castle to congratulate Harry on his placing in the Tournament.


	15. Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave comments and Kudos and check out my tumblr Jadders92 to check for updates and see the moodboard I've created for each character!

I had a bad feeling, curiously, it was the same bad feeling I’d had at the World Cup Final. It had been an overwhelming intense feeling then, but I knew that it didn’t disappear entirely. I was such an idiot, I’d ignored it for so long because so many other things had happened to distract my attention, but it was slowly starting to seep into my consciousness. Something was very wrong. 

I made it up to the castle, hoping that Benji could stay focussed on what I had asked him and find out where Clara had been for the last two years. I knew she hadn’t been working at the ministry and I knew that my brother had been keeping secrets from me, but with Remus holding my full attention for the last year, I put down all my negative feelings to what was going on there. 

I did everything I could to behave as if everything was fine, that I didn’t have a growing sense of dread inside my chest and for the most part no one was the wiser. It was only when McGonagall asked me how I was doing that I realised I was still sweating and panting heavily, she took me to the hospital wing and Pomfrey stated that I was having a panic attack.

‘A panic attack?’ McGonagall frowned, maybe Benji was right, maybe I wasn’t dealing with being at the tournament properly. David came wandering into the wing as well, pretending as if he wasn’t incredibly worried for me. 

‘What happened?’ He asked the matron, who once again explained the panic attack.

‘Post-traumatic stress.’ David nodded as if it was a logical conclusion to draw and sighed in relief.

‘You’ve been talking to Benji.’ I suddenly said, feeling the tightness in my chest returning.

‘About what?’

‘What do you mean “about what”? About me!’ I exclaimed. ‘He said the same thing before he left, said it was the dragon.’

‘Well it makes sense,’ David smiled sympathetically which only annoyed me further. ‘That was the same Horntail that stabbed you in six places and nearly killed you. I’d be pretty surprised if you didn’t react at all to it to be honest.’

‘I’m not reacting to it!’ I found myself yelling and suddenly the bombardment of everyone’s thoughts were beginning to crowd my mind. 

‘Alright Lockwood, calm down.’ Pomfrey said, getting me to lie back on the bed. ‘Deep breaths, just try to relax.’ 

I found myself unable to think of anything else but my breathing, I focussed as much as I could on the simple act and imagined the times when Remus had told me to do the same thing. I needed him… I needed to tell him about Clara… no, no, he’d only panic… maybe panic would help… no, just calm down… you can figure this out… just breathe and think about the last time you saw her… why couldn’t I remember? Why was it so difficult to picture her face?

‘Angie.’ The brother.

Remus apparated to the house as soon as he heard Angelina had had a panic attack, David brought her home to rest after visiting the hospital wing, she was sweating and panting and clutching he chest. George was trying to get her to calm down and focus on him, but it was only Remus appearing at her bedroom door that had her fully focussing on anything.

‘Remus,’ she begged. ‘Remus, please, help me.’

George stood up for Remus to take his place on the edge of Angelina’s bed. 

‘Angelina, just try to breath,’ he said, taking her clammy hand in his and stroking through her hair. ‘Just try and relax-‘

‘I need you to help me.’

‘I am helping you, I’m right here, but you need to try and focus-‘

‘Remus listen to me.’ Her pale blue eyes pierced his. 

Remus took a moment to lean down and listen to her whispering to him a set of instructions. 

‘Please just do this for me and I promise I will try and calm down.’ She finished and Remus just stared wide-eyed at her, unsure of quite what to do. ‘Please trust me.’ She begged once more.

‘Okay.’ He breathed and kissed her harshly, before tearing himself away from her side, striding into her lab and whispering the incantation to find Tenzin’s chest.

Sirius was always a chancer, he had been since school and now that he was on the run, it didn’t look to be changing anytime soon. He was still sneaking around the country, sometimes as a dog and sometimes heavily disguised, but the one place he felt like he could be safe, was Remus’s house. 

He was so incredibly proud of his friend, everything he’d achieved despite his worries about his condition, was cause for celebration, and to then find out just how in love he and Angie were with each other, it was enough to fill him with emotion; something he’d not been able to do in twelve years in Azkaban. 

Sirius hated his family home and tried not to spend much time there, he tried hard to find excuses to spend time in Scotland where Remus had bought the cottage. He helped him tear down a wall between the living room and kitchen, he fixed the stable door at the back of the house and he even took a look in the loft to see about the conversion he wanted to build for Angie. 

Sirius did everything he could to help Remus and make up for the years he’d suffered thinking he’d betrayed his friends. It plagued his mind everyday he spent in prison, unable to contact anyone and plead his innocence, he didn’t even have any evidence to prove what he was saying; that was until a wolf came staggering into the corridor outside his cell and he had no idea just how wonderful that wolf would turn out to be.

Angie wasn’t at the house that often and in a way Sirius and Remus preferred it, Remus had told his friend all about the ups and downs of his relationship, mostly through pity for the years they’d missed out on being able to share things with each other. Sirius felt incredible heartache and incredible pride that Remus was able to live such a normal existence and in finding Angie, even have the potential to live a happy life. 

Sirius wanted to be a part of their lives, he wanted his friends back, he wanted to be a good godfather to Harry and friend to Angie, he wanted to renovate her house as a thanks for helping him escape Azkaban and have the chance at a normal life as well. 

So, it was quite the surprise for Remus when he showed up at the house in the early evening to see Sirius fixing up a window in the dining room. 

‘What are you doing here?’ Remus asked, he was sweating and carrying a heavy looking wooden chest. 

‘What’s that?’ Sirius shot back, almost embarrassed that he’d been caught doing something nice. 

‘It’s Angelina’s,’ he panted. ‘We need to keep it safe for her until… well, until she tells us it’s safe to move again.’

‘But what is it?’ Sirius asked again, putting his wand down and approaching Remus, who took a step back and held the chest as if thinking Sirius was about to steal it from him.

The two men said nothing for a moment, they just watched each other, Sirius unsure what to say and Remus unsure of what he could say.

‘There are things I haven’t told you,’ Remus whispered. ‘Things that you wouldn’t believe even if I had proof. Angelina isn’t exactly… well, she’s… look I just need to keep this safe for her. I couldn’t think of anywhere else to go.’

Sirius just stared blankly at his old friend before making a decision. ‘What about the hut?’ He suggested. ‘It’s concealed and when it isn’t, there’s a great big bloody werewolf guarding it, nowhere safer if you ask me.’

‘The hut?’

‘The shed, whatever you’re calling it.’

Remus’s eyes widen just a little in realisation. ‘That’s perfect.’ Remus didn’t wait, he strode out of the kitchen, carefully holding onto the chest and Sirius quickly ran after him.

‘Wait, Remus, you haven’t told me what it is.’ Sirius usually had trouble keeping up with Remus’s long strides, but he was ridiculously fast when he was in a rush. ‘Remus, slow down.’

‘I can’t slow down, I have to do this quickly.’ Remus was like a man possessed, nothing was going to stop him from completing his task.

‘Fine, don’t slow down, but at least tell me what’s in that chest.’

‘Everything!’ Remus exclaimed, stopping and turning to face Sirius with a harsh look in his eye. ‘Everything that has ever mattered is inside this chest, this is her future and I have to make sure it stays safe.’

‘Her future?’ Sirius frowned. ‘What does that mean?’

Remus sighed and continued striding towards his concealed shed. ‘Look, there are things even I’m not sure about, but all I know is that this chest needs to be hidden until she says its safe… she said I wouldn’t remember, but as long as I did as she asked everything would be fine.’

‘You wouldn’t remember?’

‘She told me something…’ Remus sighed and it was clear he was debating something in his head. ‘Angelina went to watch the first task of the tournament, it was the dragon, the same one she fought and the memory of caused her to have a panic attack, probably some form of trauma that she hasn’t coped with, because like everything else that could affect her, she doesn’t talk about it to anyone!…’ Remus breathed deeply and took a much calmer breath. ‘I went to the house and she was hysterical, barely able to control her breathing, but she told me something, she told me that no matter what, I would forget what it was… all I really know is that keeping this chest and what’s inside safe is just damage control.’

Sirius took a deep breath. ‘There is a lot you’re keeping from me, isn’t there?’ 

Remus suddenly stopped, he leaned against a tree trunk and let his body slump down to sit against it. Sirius had never seen his friend quite like this, never quite this helpless over something he couldn’t properly explain. Remus took a few steady breaths, never once loosening his grip on the chest.

It took him a minute or two, but eventually Remus stood up and walked at a slightly less frantic pace towards the shed, he then proceeded to tell Sirius everything he knew about the Lockwoods. He only made it half way through the story by the time they got to the shed, he quickly stored the chest beneath the floorboard and covered it over with a few spells Angie had given him. 

The history of the Lockwoods seemed like some ridiculous fairy tale, but from what Sirius knew of Angie, it all seemed to make perfect sense, so who was he to argue? He listened to the details and asked every question under the sun, some of which Remus had answers for, some of which he had no idea and never even thought to ask himself. 

By the time they got back to the house the sun had already nearly disappeared behind the mountains. Sirius was still curious about the Lockwoods, but he could see that Remus was still thinking on the chest he’d hidden away, so decided against asking too many questions about Angie.

‘Well, I have to say, when I pictured you falling in love,’ Sirius half laughed. ‘It was never with a pure blood with deep family history.’

Remus half laughed as well. ‘I find it surprising you thought I’d fall in love at all, you were always the one who couldn’t go a week without a girlfriend.’

‘Yeah, but I never loved any of them.’ Sirius sat on the front porch with Remus coming to sit next to him. ‘You and James were the long term types.’

Remus couldn’t help snorting in laughter, Sirius knew why, he knew his friend’s insecurities and he knew that Remus never spent more than a couple of months with anyone before making an excuse to leave them. It told him just how special Angie must have been and now that he knew the Lockwood history, he knew Remus was in for an interesting life.

‘So, when are you going to do the decent thing?’ Sirius blurted out.

It seemed to be a source of frustration for Remus as he sighed and leaned on his hand on his knee. ‘I was going to ask her about four years ago, before the last World Cup, but the timing wasn’t right.’

‘Timing?’ Sirius chuckled. ‘Didn’t the war teach you anything? There’s no time to wait for the right time, if you love her, marry her, that’s what James did.’

Remus sighed again and nodded. ‘Well, right now is definitely not the time, there’s too much happening and she needs to focus for a while.’

They stayed at the house for a little while longer before Remus decided to head back to see Angelina, Sirius was glad his friend left when he did, it meant he could get back to work and think on the woman who had taken responsibility for Remus’s heart.

Remus made it back to the house to find Darren had arrived to see his sister and he was glad for it, Angelina needed all the family around her that she could get to remind her that she was never alone. 

Her panic attack was over long before Remus made it back, but it didn’t stop him worrying if she was okay.

‘She’s fine.’ George said, sitting down and allowing Anna to make the tea while he rested at the kitchen table. ‘She’s exhausted and just needs to rest for a while, beyond that, Remus, I would like you to convince her to see someone about it.’

‘About the panic attack?’ Remus frowned, was it really that serious?

‘About everything.’ George snapped.

‘George.’ Anna calmed her husband immediately. 

‘Angie is suffering severe post-traumatic stress,’ George went on to explain, Darren arriving in the kitchen having seen Angelina to sleep. ‘Not just from the tournament, but from everything she has experience in Bulgaria, Tibet and anywhere else she has been that she hasn’t mentioned to us. This isn’t about the brother anymore, this is about her.’ The Healer tried to make himself clear. ‘She is not coping and clearly you have not pushed her to talk about anything in any real depth… I’m not blaming you Remus, but she clearly needs expert help that we cannot give her.’

George sighed and ran his hands through his salt and pepper hair. 

‘We have been very patient with Angie over the years, but enough is enough.’ He said, more to himself than anyone else and Remus began to feel guilty that he didn’t see this coming. ‘No one can handle the pressure she had been put under and now the cracks have started to show.’

No one said anything, in a way, they all knew that he was right, but it was difficult to take all the same. Angelina was supposed to be the best of them, had they really pushed her so far?

Remus eventually went up to see her, knowing that she was probably sleeping, but much to his surprise, she was wide awake, staring at the ceiling. ‘Is it safe?’ She whispered, sitting up frantically.

‘Yes.’ Remus nodded and quickly checked that they were definitely alone. ‘Angelina, what’s going on? You had a panic attack.’ He sat on the edge of the bed and held her still clammy hand, she was sweating heavily, but at least she was breathing more calmly.

‘It was the dragon, I could feel it happening all over again and everything started to hurt,’ she explained. ‘It was like I was under the rocks again and it was so hot.’

‘Alright, alright,’ Remus clamed her down, stroking the side of her face. ‘It’s just a memory, you survived it and now you don’t need to worry, I won’t let you fight anymore dragons.’ Remus tried to joke, but neither one of them seemed able to smile. 

‘Remus, I need to ask you something,’ Angelina lowered her voice even more. ‘Something that will be hard for you to do, but please, will you just promise me you’ll at least try.’

‘Of course, anything.’ Remus promised immediately, whatever she wanted, he’d give it to her, he’d learnt his lesson.

‘I need you to trust me.’

‘Angelina, I do trust-‘

‘No,’ she interrupted, shaking her head. ‘No, I need to trust me, even when it looks like I’m going mad or that I can’t be trusted… please.’

Remus suddenly had a sinking feeling, his heart was plummeting. ‘You know where Clara is.’ 

‘No. But I think I might know how to find out, but you need to trust me even when you forget what I say, please just trust that I know what I’m doing here.’ 

It was a big ask. She was talking about something huge and something that Remus wouldn’t give to just anyone and not without good reason.

‘I will find Clara and I will explain everything, but for the moment, we need to be smart. Please help me.’ Angelina begged and Remus only realised at that moment that he was finding it difficult to trust her even then. ‘Remus, my father wants me to see someone about my panic attack and I will, I think Benji is right and it’s post-traumatic stress, I know that I never really talked about the tournament and I know that I didn’t really admit how it made me feel… but you know that I wouldn’t ask you to do this unless I was sure that this was the right thing to do. So please, I’m begging you to just trust me and try to understand that what I am doing is for the good of my family… a family that includes you.’ 

Remus’s eyes snapped up to hers. They were family. They didn’t need children or marriage or anyone else to be a family, the two of them on their own were still family and that meant everything to her. Remus pressed his lips harshly to hers, tasting the sweat and hoping his kiss was enough to prove that he loved her. ‘I trust you.’ He whispered. ‘I trust you with everything, Angelina.’

‘Good.’ She smiled. ‘I know I’m not alone, Remus, I really do.’


	16. All Seems Well

Remus was back at the cottage for the rest of the weeks leading up to Christmas, he did as Angelina had asked of him, he went to visit James and Lily, he met up with Angelina in Diagon Alley when she asked if he wanted to get some lunch and he looked after his father. But all of it felt forced, like he was some kind of undercover spy trying to behave as if he was a normal human being.

Angelina made good on her promise and went to see someone at St Mungo’s about her panic attacks, she would arrive at the cottage after every session and she and Remus would spend an hour talking about it. They sat on the newly repaired dock at the side of the lake, with a cup of tea and a blanket to keep them warm and they stayed there until it was too cold for them anymore. 

Sirius had to leave Scotland for a while and so it was down to the two of them to finish fixing up the house. It was almost finished, there was just the stairs to the loft to finish and they would be done. 

They worked right up until the day before Christmas Eve when they were due to head to Angelina’s house for dinner. Remus was incredibly proud of the work they’d done, it looked like a proper home, one that he was looking forward to building a life in. He was completely exhausted by the time he descended the stairs of their house. 

Angelina was tidying away the excess magnolia wallpaper when he saw her. She always looked so good when she wore his clothes, he couldn’t explain why, just something about the way his old brown jumper encased her strong, slender body beneath, had him watching her unashamedly. Remus caught her smiling, knowing exactly why; she could feel his thoughts and he never seemed to mind.

‘I take it you’re ready to go?’ Angelina smiled, leaning against the kitchen counter.

‘Yes,’ Remus nodded, leaning against the newly installed bannister. ‘I can come back just before New Year and put in those shelves for you. Are you sure you only want five across the wall?’

Angelina gently bit her lip to stop her cheeks hurting through her smile. ‘Why don’t we decide in the New Year when I move in?’

Remus felt his entire body lift with excitement, he took an instinctive step towards her. ‘You want to move in?’

‘I do.’ She nodded. ‘I’ve really liked being here with you and I think you’re right, building this place together has made me a lot less overwhelmed by the prospect of leaving home.’ Angelina looked around the work she’d done with the wallpaper and sighed happily. ‘I want to do this with you, Remus.’

Remus didn’t hesitate, two strides and his arms were wrapped around her, holding her beautiful body against his, breathing in that sweet, light scent that was entirely Angelina.

‘I love you, so much.’ Remus breathed, hoping she could feel just how happy he was that his life was finally looking up. He held her for a few moments longer, just imagining the life they could have together in that house, the home they could build given the chance. 

Remus was so excited, but managed to contain himself over dinner with her parents, he understood that she wanted to wait until after Christmas to announce the news and honestly, he didn’t care, he was far too excited about making the house more habitable for them.

On occasion Remus would remember his promise to trust her without hesitation, but the reasoning behind it was slipping away, why did he need to promise something like that? And why wasn’t Angelina more resistant to seeing a therapist? Every time he caught himself thinking about it, she would give him a look which would settle him, remind him that as long as he trusted her, everything would be okay.

I knew it was bad, I knew that really all Remus had done was hide Tenzin’s chest, he hadn’t destroyed it or made it undetectable and if anyone went looking for it, then surely it would be found and everything I’d worked so hard to build would come to a very abrupt end. He’d hidden in beneath the floorboards of his transformation shed, a brilliant idea, no one knew about the shed apart from Sirius and he could hardly stroll up to anyone and reveal our secrets. 

I decided to make a visit to see my godchildren a few days before Christmas, mostly to see everyone before the holidays really started, but also to check in with Benji, who, it seemed, had made little in the way of progress. I didn’t really expect him to suddenly find Clara, but apparently he did.

‘All I could really confirm was her last day was somewhere around the time we stopped hearing from you.’ Benji said quietly, we were in his kitchen, Jocelyne putting Harper and Jackson to bed, they were getting excited about opening presents on Christmas morning. ‘Angie, I’m sorry, but I just keep forgetting-‘

‘It’s fine,’ I interrupted. ‘It might be better for the time being, at least until I can figure out why. This is going to take time and patience and I’ll need you to trust me.’

‘Of course, I trust you,’ Benji snapped. ‘With everything we’ve been through, you think I don’t trust my best friend.’

I swallowed. ‘Benji, I might ask you to do something for me, something that might not make sense, something that seems incredibly stupid or dangerous and I need to know that you will do it without question.’

Benji frowned, I knew that people’s trust only went so far and I didn’t blame anyone of my friends for it. ‘Angie, what aren’t you telling me?’

‘This is why I need you to trust me,’ I tried to explain. ‘There are things at work, events that have already been set in motion and I never even saw them, events like Clara’s disappearance.’ I could see it in his eyes, he suddenly remembered Clara. ‘Benji, I think that something very bad is coming and none of us can see it.’

‘Like what?’

‘Like a war.’

Benji sucked in a deep breath and I could see his temper flaring.

‘Benji, I need more information, but I can only get it if everyone’s attention is elsewhere, like at the Tournament.’

‘You’re using it as a decoy.’ Benji was starting to piece things together. I nodded, it wasn’t the plan, the truth was I didn’t have much of a plan, but there were some things that were being left unexplained and I had a feeling we were running very low on time. ‘So, what kind of information are you looking for? This is to do with those bloody things inside of you and Darren.’

‘Yeah,’ I nodded. ‘But I don’t know if that’s where I’m going to find what I’m looking for. The first step is to find out if Clara really has disappeared.’

‘What do you mean?’

I sighed and leaned back against the kitchen counter. ‘The thing is, I feel so distracted when talking about her, I feel like any time her name is brought up, everyone immediately wants to talk about something else, as if there is something blocking us from dwelling on her too long. Dumbledore tried to use a similar defence mechanism to stop me thinking about the Mist back at school, and I used it at the World Cup match so that people wouldn’t notice Remus.’

‘So, what are you saying?’

‘I’m saying that there’s only one other person that could be making sure that Clara is staying out of our consciousness.’ 

Benji’s eyes widened slightly as the realisation hit. He sucked in another deep breath and paced his kitchen for a moment, just trying to absorb the information that he had just been presented with.

‘Are you serious, Angie? Because that is a serious thing to-‘

‘Benji.’ I warned him. ‘I need you to trust me.’ I emphasised every word and Benji took another calming breath, nodding.

-Benji, stay calm and do not make it obvious that I’m speaking to you.-

I watched him suddenly realise that I was communicating directly into his mind, he took a moment to give a quick nod, but not looking at all comfortable.

-I can’t do this too often, but it is the only way the brother cannot hear me, do not say anything out loud that will give us away, he is watching and listening.-

‘How about a beer? This is a lot to take in, I’m having one.’ Benji said, he couldn’t look at me any longer and pretend that he wasn’t listening to what I was saying.

‘Sure.’ I nodded and watched him head over to the fridge.

-Benji, I want you to know that should you ever be in trouble, you can always find safety in my home in Isle of Skye. I’ve set up safety measures to ensure it cannot be found by those with bad intentions. It will always be safe there. I might be able to lift whatever block is stopping us from finding Clara, but it will take some time. Stay patient and we will find her.-

Benji didn’t say anything, it took a lot of focus for me to communicate in that way and I needed to rest before I tried it again. Jocelyne eventually came back and I could see in Benji’s eyes that he didn’t want to lie to his wife, I was making him do it, but at least he understood that the less said out loud the safer everyone would be.

Christmas was about as relaxing as I expected it to be, Darren entertained the family and Remus kept me close, whispering sweetly the way he used to and for a while I could pretend that there wasn’t a war coming, that this was how I could live for the rest of my life.

I caught Darren sitting on the old bench outside, looking up at the stars and taking in the night air. He looked so lonely and Clara suddenly floated to the front of my mind again. Darren’s head shifted, noticing that I was standing behind him.

I went and sat next to him, we both looked up at the dark night sky and remained silent for a while.

-Darren, I want you to continue looking up at the sky. Cough if you know it’s me talking to you.-

It took a moment, but eventually my brother coughed a little. ‘Getting a bit of cold I reckon.’ He chuckled and pulled his coat tighter.

‘I’m not surprised, something’s going around.’

‘Best stay away from me if you don’t want to catch it.’ It was like a warning, maybe Darren couldn’t safely talk back to me just yet.

-Darren, I need you to tell me if something has happened… something with Clara.-

‘It’s getting cold out here, Angie,’ Darren said and stood up. ‘I’m heading back inside, dad said he’ll get some hot chocolate on soon. You coming?’ He was scared, I could see it, it was painted all over his face.

‘Yeah, I’ll be there in a minute.’ I nodded, Darren went to walk away from the bench. ‘Wait.’ I said, my brother turning back for a moment, those tired blue eyes almost begging me to say something that might save him. ‘You know that I love you right? I mean, you know that you can come to me to talk about stuff… the hard stuff.’

‘Course, I know.’ Darren half laughed, as if the whole thing was dramatic and unnecessary.

‘Darren.’ I said, calmly. ‘No one loves you the way I do, you remember that, right?’

It was like something clicked in his head, like he suddenly realised what was in front of him.

‘I remember.’ Darren nodded, he paused for a moment before heading back inside. 

This was going to take a little more time that I expected, Darren was clearly struggling with something and the brother was clearly playing a part in making him afraid. I thought for a moment about my theory on Clara’s disappearance, I was almost certain that I was right about it, and that wasn’t a good thing.

‘Angie?’ I turned to see my father coming out with two mugs, I could smell the sweet chocolate from where I was sitting.

‘Dad.’ I smiled and took one of the steaming mugs. He sat beside me and sighed happily.

‘It’s been a good Christmas.’ He said, smiling up at the sky. ‘Haven’t had one like this in a while now and I’m glad we’ve managed to get the whole family together.’

‘Apart from Clara.’ I said and watched my father’s reaction. He frowned for a moment, like he’d suddenly remembered her.

‘Yes.’ He said slowly. ‘I haven’t seen her for a while… I’m sure she’s just busy with work.’ My father reassured himself more than me and I left the conversation there. ‘So, how have your sessions been? Helpful?’

I inhaled deeply and nodded. ‘Yeah… yeah, they’ve been really helpful. The Healer I’ve been seeing, Malik, he’s been really nice about everything… encouraged me to talk to Remus about things that bother me, even if he can’t help directly, Malik thinks at least getting it off my chest is a good thing.’

‘Malik is very good at his job,’ my father nodded. ‘Helped a lot of us recover after the war. I still see him sometimes when things get to be a bit much.’ I suddenly looked up at my father and saw his tired eyes, smiling. ‘I’m a Healer Angie, but I don’t always manage to save people, I make mistakes and on those bad days, it leads to death.’

I couldn’t imagine the difficulty of my father’s job for so long and admittedly I still couldn’t, but it really only occurred to me that for more than twenty-five years he’d watched people die and there was nothing he could do about it. 

‘Dad,’ I could suddenly feel tears building in my eyes. ‘I think another war is coming and I don’t know if I’m ready.’

‘Angie,’ my father put his arm around me. ‘You will never be ready for war. No one ever is, all you can do is look after those who mean the most to you and hope that you make the right choices. War is a terrible thing, needless pain and death and none of it ever really means anything once it’s over. A world isn’t built by people killing people, it’s built by those who love and those who are brave enough to show kindness and compassion.’

I sniffed a little and nodded, I knew he was right, I knew my father was always right, he’d seen and suffered so much and over the years, it only made him wise.


	17. Moving Out

Remus was excited when the New Year came around, he couldn’t wait to move into the cottage with Angelina, they’d already found a good week to get things done, it would be just after the January full moon when Remus was feeling a little more refreshed and energised and that day couldn’t come soon enough.

She’d been distracted with Darren playing on her mind, she’d spent a little more time with him since Christmas and every time he was reminded of Clara. He’d resisted the temptation to ask her directly, knowing that Angelina was already searching for his friend and she probably already had a good lead. Remus constantly reminded himself to trust her judgement. Angelina wouldn’t let him down.

They’d gone to the shed a few times before moving into the cottage and Angelina seemed convinced that Tenzin’s chest would be safe there as long as they were careful. She warned Remus not to tell anyone the shed existed, not that he would have done anyway, but somehow when she told him anything it seemed so much more important.

The day they finally moved into the cottage was one of the most exciting days Remus ever had, he couldn’t wait to work out where everything would go and he would be doing most of that as the second Tournament task was fast approaching and Angelina would be going to spectate with Benji again. He finally put up the shelves in her research lab and used it to distract her when she came home from her session with Malik, she was a little distant at first but as soon as he got her interested in setting up her new lab, she was better.

It was a strange feeling, something like walking on retraced steps, it was as if I could feel the panic, the temptation… the guilt. Someone had been in my lab. The sensation started as something nagging in the back of my mind, I thought maybe the brother was trying to get my attention, but the second I stepped through the door to my old lab, I could feel that someone had been in there. They had been looking for something.

I let my hand drift over the magical trail left behind, following it to various compartments and cupboards. My hand drifted over my large work bench and I could feel where they’d leaned on it for support, where their feet had stood as they searched the upper shelves not visible from the ground. I knew exactly what they were looking for. 

‘You not started packing yet?’ I turned to see Darren chuckling in the doorway. ‘You need some help?’

He looked refreshed since Christmas, since we’d been spending so much time together and reconnecting. 

‘Sure.’ I nodded, smiling and taking a deep breath. I had a very deep suspicion about what I was feeling around my brother, he was not a bad person, of that, I was absolutely certain, but I couldn’t say the same for the beings that lived inside of us.

We worked nearly the entire day, packing up my lab, being extra careful with the plants and anything that needed to be transported carefully to the cottage. Darren told me about how his season was going, about how he’d had a very rocky start due to fatigue from the World Cup, but he was slowly improving and getting back to his best. I was glad he was enjoying his time with the club again, he was being rested for a few more games here and there, just to keep him injury free, but he was certain that next season he would come back into his own.

‘It’s just a blip,’ he shrugged, sealing a small box of gillyweed. ‘All players have them, they’re annoying, but the coaches keep telling me that blips are more about mental strength than anything, they’re about seeing if you can come out stronger and more focused on the other side.’

‘Well, you’ve got plenty of focus.’ I said, feeling my lower back twinge as it so often did from repetitive spinal breaks. ‘I’m sure you’ll be flying fit in no time.’

‘Here’s hoping. Will you be alright taking this stuff to the new place? I need to get to training tonight, so I can’t stay much longer.’ 

‘Yeah, I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me. Remus will be here soon anyway.’ I nodded and watched my brother smile at me.

I remembered when I was younger and I would look at Darren like he was my entire world, I still loved him as much now as I did then and I knew he could feel it. And we both knew that that feeling would be what saved us in the end.

‘Congratulations Angie,’ Darren caught me in a strong hug and I felt his love, it was like no one else’s reserved just for his sister. ‘I’m so happy that you’re happy now, just remember I’ll always be here if you need anything.’

‘I know.’ I breathed.

Darren eventually left to head to training and I was left to sit and think about the next stage of my plan. I needed to see Benji again, I’d already warned him not to put anything into writing otherwise the brother would see it, so we were stuck banking on perfectly natural moments to cross each other’s path, but those were few and far between at best.

Remus came to help take everything to the cottage and my parents arrived back at the house just in time to help with the last couple of boxes. We all apparated together to my new home and I could tell my father was getting more emotional than my mother at the sight of it. 

‘I am so proud of you, Angie.’ He said, his tears threatening to escape as we stood in the middle of my new, sparse kitchen. ‘And just so you know, I said the same thing to Darren when he first moved away, but you will always be welcomed home and if you should ever need anything, be it money or a place to think or just somewhere safe to be, you can always rely on us being there for you.’ 

I hugged my father and felt something strange happening inside him, it was almost an emptying feeling, one that was refilling as quickly as it was draining. His emotions were all over the place, he couldn’t focus on a single one and I wondered if this was how my father felt every day of his life. A permanent state of confusion and disarray.

My mother didn’t seem to be much better when she and Remus descended the stairs chuckling about something. The second she saw my father and I standing holding each other, the tears began escaping for her as well and I was suddenly cocooned between my parents, the warmth of family was an incredibly beautiful thing that I couldn’t help my tears flowing heavily.

Eventually my parents let go and kissed me several times, telling me they loved me and wishing me luck. My father shook Remus’s hand and told him to look after me, Remus promised he would and my father believed him. My mother smiled her beautiful, loving smile and kissed my forehead one more time.

‘We love you my darling girl, never forget how fiercely we love you.’ She ran her hand down my cheek and I suddenly missed her, I missed my mother so intensely that I needed to hold her just once more before my parents finally left to apparate home. 

I just watched the spot where they disappeared for a few more moments, before feeling Remus’s love penetrating me in that way that told me he was close and smiling.

‘I miss them already.’ I breathed and felt his warm arms wrap around me. Remus kissed my hair and breathed with me for a while, there was nothing he could really say that would make me miss them less so he stayed silent.

Remus was proud of Angelina, he knew this was a difficult thing for her, to say goodbye to her family and work on their new life together and after everything they’d put each other through, he could understand if she was doubting it all or worrying over what to do next. But Remus had promised he would look after her and get her through the hard times and that was exactly what he intended on doing.

It was a hard few weeks leading up to the second task, Angelina, once again making frequent visits to the shop, keeping up with her sessions with Malik and researching her Puffapods. He’d found out she was writing a new book on them and planned to replant a few in the lake outside their house. Remus also went with her to visit Tenzin’s chest every so often, she kept the visits brief and the walk back was almost always silent. Angelina didn’t like going alone to the shed in the middle of the forest and Remus loved walking with her regardless of if it was in silence or not.

They took time over decorating their home, it was big enough that two of the bedrooms were still spare, one of which was empty and the other was still a base for any cosmetic decoration they were still doing, such as putting up shelves or painting walls. Remus loved the evenings the most when Angelina would come home, he would make her a cup of tea and they would listen to music while they fixed up the house and talked about their days.

Remus cherished the moments where Angelina would lay down in bed to sleep in his old t-shirt, he would hold her close and wait for her to fall asleep in his arms, watching the lake sparkling beneath whatever moon was out. He didn’t hate it as much as he used to, Angelina somehow made everything more tolerable just by existing near him. He finally felt happiness like he’d always dreamed of.

Benji was nervous and Angie could tell. He tried not to be, he tried to act as though he wasn’t keeping a great secret, but it was difficult.

‘Benji, how are you?’ Angie smiled her winning smile, one that was looking a little more worn as the days went on.

‘Same old, same old.’ Benji shrugged, waiting for the moment that she would communicate directly into his mind. 

They walked carefully down to the Black Lake and he could already tell she was getting nervous as well, he needed to keep a clearer head for the sake of his friend, she was already starting to get attention from the younger students. Everyone seemed to admire her, everyone wanted to hear about her time in the tournament, but no one got the tales they wanted, if they’d been smarter and asked him, he would have given them some epic retelling of what was one of the hardest things Angie ever had to do in her life.

They made it out to the cold lake and Benji was glad he decided to wear his thick black scarf and thick jacket, he was still shivering slightly beneath it and Angie didn’t look much better. 

The canon sounded and the last of the Champions entered the lake, nothing to do except wait until it was over.

_-I’m assuming you’ve found something?-___

_ __ _

_ __ _

Benji let a breath of relief go, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could have gone holding onto the information inside his head.

_-Clara was last seen heading home by Arthur Weasley, that day was the last recorded day of her working at the ministry. He said she was thinner than he’d last seen her, that she seemed a little out of sorts, paranoid even.-_

_-Paranoid? Like someone was after her?-_

_-He wasn’t sure, he couldn’t quite remember her face, but he was almost sure she was trying not to cry.-_

‘Angie,’ Barty Crouch approached them. ‘Might I have a word?’

‘Of course, what can I help you with?’ Angie smiled politely and Barty guided her away from Benji, he watched the conversation and watched his friend sighing and looking all the more dejected with the conversation. Benji had a good feeling he knew what the conversation was about.

She eventually came back and sighed. ‘I expect you know what that was all about?’ She asked, scoffing.

‘I might have heard one or two things.’ Benji half laughed, eager to finish passing the information to Angie. ‘Fudge is getting a little impatient with Kingsley, he’s trying to recruit you.’

‘He wants to see me this week.’ Angie nodded. ‘I’ll have to come up with a few excuses as to why I can’t be out of the country for too long.’

_-Benji, was Darren ever seen at the ministry prior to Clara disappearing?-_

Benji sighed, he knew the question was coming and he was dreading it.

_-Just once, to pick her up. I don’t think she was expecting to see him, according to Tonks, who saw them, she was actually a little shaken. She didn’t let on or anything, but she was definitely surprised to see him at the very least.-_

Angie sighed and looked around at the stands. ‘I don’t remember taking this long.’

‘That’s because you were in the water messing around with Grindylows and the rest of us were freezing to the stands up here.’ Benji snapped, making Angie laugh a little at him.

_-Is there anything else you need to tell me? I don’t know how much longer I can do this.-_

_-Just one more thing. I only managed to get that information yesterday. Angie, it has taken me months just to get through to two people. If you’re right and we’re running low on time then we need to come up with another plan, this will take too long otherwise.-_

_-I know.-_

Angie didn’t say anything else, she was already tired and he couldn’t imagine how much it took out of her when she communicated in that fashion. Her eye was fixed on Mad Eye for a moment or two and Benji half laughed.

‘I know we need to keep the kids safe and everything,’ he said a little more quietly. ‘But with Mad Eye here, we’ve been struggling to make a few arrests and keep on top of a few suspects.’ Angie half smiled, her eyes darted to Benji, but her focus remained on the older Auror who was watching the lake intently. ‘Honestly, I don’t know why Dumbledore didn’t ask either myself or Tonks to come here this year, I was here the first time and Tonks has really only been covering Mad Eye’s work load.’

‘You think you could have taught Dark Arts for a whole year?’ Angie half laughed, she seemed a little less concerned with Mad Eye and more settled into joking with her friend. ‘I remember how much you hated homework, you’d never have been able to get these kids to work hard.’

‘That is an unfair assumption,’ Benji laughed. ‘I have two children who receive the very best discipline and education anyone could possibly provide.’

Angie smiled and nodded, giving in. ‘Maybe you’re right,’ Benji frowned at her. ‘Maybe Jocelyne should have been given more consideration for the post.’

Benji rolled his eyes and they both burst into laughter. Benji didn’t care that his usually stoic demeanour was broken in front of the students, he didn’t care that he was laughing loudly in the middle of a worried and concerned crowd, all that seemed to matter was that his friend was enjoying herself. Angie was showing rare signs of happiness and humanity, something Benji missed more and more every day.

They eventually calmed down and received an arched eyebrow from Snape and McGonagall, not that they cared that much, but still they were in a professional setting and should have behaved as such.

‘We can’t forget this, Benji.’ Angie suddenly said, her deep, ocean blue eyes drifting over the horizon. He frowned, not quite understanding what she meant. ‘We can’t forget who we are so carelessly.’

‘Angie?’

She suddenly smiled and chuckled as if she was simply musing and the words had somehow escaped her. Angie shook he head and without warning the first Champion emerged from the water.


	18. Warning Signs

I did my best to stay focussed, but my emotions were getting the better of me, Hogwarts was just a painful place to be these days, there were far too many memories of people who were no longer there, people who I’d lost, people who I was losing there and then. 

I felt small bombardments of thought penetrating me each time I let my pain get the better of me, so I tried to remember Remus, or rather, Professor Lupin. I thought about the first time I realised he was unconditionally kind, the day I fell down the owlery steps and broke my arm, he was just so nice and calm and caring. I wondered what I looked like to him at that moment, a scared little girl who just needed a hand to the hospital wing I presumed, but possibly he could see something more sitting just beneath the surface.

Mad Eye had caught my eye, I hadn’t seen much of him since my return from Tibet, but I was sure he was different, I put it down mostly to being one of the most feared Aurors there ever was and the toll it took to be that. I couldn’t feel anything else surrounding him, but then again, it was difficult with so many people around me worrying for the Champions and trying to communicate with Benji without the brother knowing.

‘Well done, Harry.’ I winked on my way up to the castle. ‘Gillyweed was a good call.’

‘Thanks.’ Harry panted and Lily was immediately on hand to keep her son and the rest of the champions warm. 

‘Your father will be very proud to hear how well you did.’ She beamed down at her son and I was reminded of the love my own mother showed me when I moved away. I could feel another small flare of something in the back of my mind, but I couldn’t quite catch it in time. 

I took a breath and stood at the top of the stone steps, the ones I remembered sitting on waiting to be presented with the Triwizard Cup, I remembered the fear and confusion all rolling into one and I couldn’t help but wonder if anything had really changed. There was just so much going on, too many emotions, heartaches, secrets and complications, I just wasn’t prepared to be so overwhelmed.

‘Angie.’ A voice came from just behind me and I got ready to smile and pretend I was okay. McGonagall just sighed and looked at me as if she just knew. ‘I haven’t got any tea, but I’m sure I could tempt you all the same with a something a little stronger.’ It was the rarest wink of all, a McGonagall wink, a mark of true admiration from someone who seemed to admire very little. 

I half laughed and followed her to the Transfiguration classroom.

‘I expect this all feels a little smaller?’

‘It does indeed.’ I smiled, remembering all my classes, the ones where I listened and the ones where I occupied my time with something else entirely. 

McGonagall poured a glass of Firewhiskey each and I found myself in a position I never thought I would be. Drinking with Minerva McGonagall. It was good whiskey as well.

‘I have to say Angie, you have grown up to be an exceptional young woman.’ I could feel something erratic playing out behind her still eyes. ‘I worried for such a long time over yourself and Darren, you were just both so different from all the other students.’

‘Different how?’ I frowned.

‘Smarter, braver, less inclined to worry about your personal safety when others were at risk, at your age it was a strange thing to see such little interest in self-preservation. I wondered how long after your schooling you could keep it up, even when Remus defended your trip to Bulgaria and Darren’s to Japan. He never lost faith in you, something, I’m afraid I cannot say.’ It was suddenly clear that McGonagall had been keeping this to herself for a very long time. ‘I don’t know what the future holds for the both of you, but I still worry for you. You both deserve so much that the world simply will not give you, the pressures you have been put under since you were children is far too much to ask of anyone and yet, here you are.’

I swallowed a mouthful of whiskey and frowned. ‘This wasn’t just a social call, was it?’

‘No.’ McGonagall shook her head. ‘I just want you to know that I still think about that fifteen year old girl who sat in the headmaster’s office, I still think about how upset she was at the belief that she was hurting another being and I still think, every day, about what more I could have done to help her. Angie, Hogwarts would never turn down a student in need and you will always have a place here, should you need it.’

There was something strange in the way she finished her whiskey in one swift mouthful, McGonagall was a wise woman, perhaps she could feel the same thing I could feel, a sense of impeding dread.

I finished my drink and wandered out of the castle with Benji, he gave me the updates on how the family were doing, Harper and Jackson getting bigger and I thought about going to see them again soon with Remus and David who was laughing away with Hagrid behind us. I told him about the house and promised I’d invite everyone over for dinner at some point and I really meant everyone.

I eventually went home and found Remus dosing on the sofa with a book, something I’d found him doing more and more recently; he looked peaceful and I decided not to wake him, instead I made some tea and went up to my lab to look at what I’d collected on the brothers over the last month or so. 

Most of what I had, came from old pieces of memory inside me and Tenzin’s books, he had theories upon theories about horcruxes and soul magic, a little involving blood magic and a somewhat patchy timeline of the Lockwood family. There wasn’t much I didn’t already know, I knew that my family had an affiliation with werewolves that extended beyond the big family secret, I knew that anyone who tried to research them fell short at the final hurdle and I knew that most of them lived in secret. Not a single person acknowledged how old the Lockwoods really were, but it seemed impossible given that the wizarding world kept a close eye on pureblood families, perhaps the same magic that was keeping Clara out of the limelight, kept the Lockwoods out as well. 

‘Darren should never have been famous.’ I said out loud, hoping the brother was listening. ‘I should never have been able to refine the Wolfsbane Potion… should I?’

There was a long pause before finally I heard loud and clear. ‘No.’

‘So, why did it happen?’ I demanded.

‘It happened because it was time.’

‘Time? Time for what?’

‘I was tired.’ The brother sounded exhausted and I decided there was only one thing for it. I sat on the floor and got as comfortable as I could, closing my eyes and visualising the great desert plain. I had built a roped system that allowed me to climb up into the white orb, but never allowed him to leave it. 

The brother was in bed, he was thin and wasting away. He was dying.

‘You look awful.’ I said, sitting down next to him in the clean white chair.

‘I feel worse.’ He half smiled, his dark brown eyes were struggling to open the whole way. ‘Did you find out where Clara went?’

‘It’s not been confirmed, but I’m fairly sure I know what happened.’ I nodded, not really wanting to talk about this. ‘I have questions.’

‘I know.’ 

‘Do you have the answers?’

‘Probably.’ He chuckled softly. ‘You want to know about the prophecy, you want to know exactly what it talks about.’

‘Do you know?’

‘Not for certain.’ The brother struggled for a moment, like something painful was getting stuck in all corners of his body, like the blood wasn’t flowing quite right. ‘I can show you the memory of Felix, my son… he was given the prophecy when he was fifteen, he kept it safe from harm.’

‘Wait, you have access to past memories? Full and untainted?’

‘Yes.’ The brother breathed.

‘That would have been useful to know before now, before I started trying to piece things together with bits and pieces I could hardly decipher.’ I said through gritted teeth, I could hear the storm clouds outside of the orb and the brother noticed, I hadn’t realised just how much penetrated this room, he could at least hear when I was angry, I wondered what else the brother might have been able to deduct from the goings on outside of his white orb. 

‘On the table.’ He pointed to a white table that I hadn’t seen before now and a brown chest sat on top. ‘Felix.’ He breathed and his dark eyes closed completely.

I stood up and wandered over to the table, unsure of whether to open the chest or not. I didn’t want to spend too much time with the brother and so decided to take it out of the white orb and build my own room in which to open it. I began building something secure in an open area of the desert, which was becoming slightly more crowded in recent times. I tried to make the room impossible to breach, but I was still unsure, as much as I needed to understand the prophecy, I’d learnt my lesson not to be too hasty and have patience where I needed to.

I opened my eyes and felt a shadow being cast over me in the middle of my lab, I looked at the door way to see Remus looking a little ragged since waking up from his nap.

‘When did you get home?’ He didn’t looked especially happy to see me. 

‘Not that long ago.’ I said and stood up, brushing away any dust from my jeans. 

‘Do you want some more tea? Yours has gone cold.’ He didn’t wait for a reply, instead, Remus took my still full mug and went down to the kitchen. 

I took a deep breath and followed him. 

‘Are you alright?’ I asked as kindly as I could, being careful on the recently painted wall of the kitchen that had the back door in the centre of it.

‘I’m fine.’ Remus nodded, I could see in the last of the sunlight that he was trying to be okay, but there was something else hiding behind his bloodshot eyes. I folded my arms and felt a wave of worry wash over me, but it wasn’t my worry, it was his. ‘I’m worried about you.’ He finally admitted as the water was coming to the boil. ‘You’ve been a little distant over the last week or so, when you came back from St Mungo’s, after your session I mean, we didn’t exactly talk about anything in depth and I am worried that something is on your mind that you think I can’t help you with.’

‘Remus,’ I let a breath of relief go, thinking it was a much worse problem than that. ‘You don’t need to be worried, I promise. No more so than usual any way… but I will confess that I’m a little overwhelmed by everything that’s happened recently, things with the tournament and moving and all these decisions we have to make about the house… it’s just a lot to deal with and I’m trying hard to get it all straight in my head before I say something stupid.’

Remus sighed and slumped down in his usual chair at the kitchen table. ‘Angelina, you shouldn’t feel worried about that. Especially when it comes to the house and us.’ A flash of annoyance from him caught me off guard. ‘I still can’t believe after all this time, I’m still trying to convince you that you aren’t alone in this-‘

‘I know I’m not alone.’ I interrupted.

‘Do you?’ Remus exclaimed. ‘Do you actually understand that we are doing this together? You and me, in this house, living happily the way we always wanted. But I feel like your attention is no longer on that, it’s elsewhere… you are distracted and you’re behaving as if you are the only one who understands frustration and pressure.’

I stopped everything. Remus didn’t mean any of this, I knew him well enough to know that he couldn’t have meant what he was saying and even when I didn’t respond, there was a frown of confusion that flickered over his face.

‘Remus, what’s going on here?’ I said as calmly as I could.

‘I just…’ he didn’t know, he really didn’t know. ‘Angelina, I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I said those things, maybe I’m just tired… I haven’t been sleeping well.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Nightmares…’ Remus couldn’t quite make eye contact with me, the pot suddenly started boiling loudly and Remus got up to finish making the tea. I sat down opposite his chair and waited for him to take his seat again. Remus placed the mug and some biscuits between us before settling. ‘I sometimes dream about you… but it’s not exactly you, it’s something else… it looks more like… well, me, like what I am.’

‘A werewolf?’

Remus nodded and something flared in the back of my mind.

‘Does this werewolf look thin, skeletal almost, with dark eyes?’ I hoped the brother could hear the storm, because it was turning into a hurricane outside his orb.

‘Blue eyes, like yours, but the rest is right.’ Remus frowned. ‘How could you know that?’

‘Remus, listen to me,’ I leaned over and held his hand. ‘You love me, don’t you?’

‘Of course, I do, how could you ask me that?’

‘You still trust me, don’t you?’

‘Yes, of course. Angelina, what-‘

‘Remus, please don’t forget that I love you just as much. Don’t ever forget that.’ I begged him and his blue eyes scanned my face worriedly. ‘These nightmares are just nightmares, whatever it is that happens in them… I’ll never let it happen to you, do you understand me? I’d die before I let anything like that happen to you.’

I could feel the pull of my animagus, I was slipping into survival mode and I felt the protectiveness rising inside me. Remus swallowed and nodded, he looked like a beaten down dog and I just wanted to hold him, help him, make him feel like everything was going to be okay. 

‘Look at what we’re building.’ I said quietly and his eyes met mine. ‘This house, this tiny little family we have… it’s all that matters and as long as we hold onto it, nothing can get to us. Love is it.’

Remus half smiled. ‘Love is it.’ He repeated back to me and it made me smile a little wider, my anger was subsiding but it wouldn’t disappear completely until I got some kind of explanation.

Remus felt a little better for telling Angelina about his nightmares, he’d stayed awake most nights, not being able to sleep for fear of seeing the creature he believed was Angelina, chasing him and killing him. He knew it wasn’t real, it couldn’t have been real, but the more he dwelled on it, the more he worried that she was in fact going to harm him in some way. 

Another few weeks went by and Angelina disappeared one afternoon, telling him she was going to walk beside the treeline and think for a while, but when she came back there was something angry about her, like she’d just been in some kind of fight with someone. Remus took a breath and remembered his promise to trust her, to love her and put all of his faith in that. His nightmares were less after that afternoon, they didn’t quite disappear entirely but by the time Easter came along they didn’t seem so real or terrifying anymore.

Angelina had been asked to help in the search for Sirius Black, which Remus managed to get a laugh out of considering she told him whilst Sirius was making tea in their kitchen. She was away for a few days at a time, but always stopped off at the ministry to see Benji on her way home, she kept telling him it was important that kept in contact with her friends and family. 

She would often ask him if he’d had anymore nightmares, or if anything strange had happened and Remus couldn’t think of anything, but even as he said it, he felt like it was a lie he couldn’t explain.

‘I don’t know what’s happening to me.’ He confessed one evening while they lay in bed together. 

It was almost completely dark apart from the lamp that sat on his side, illuminating Angelina’s face and keeping his in darkness. They laid on their sides facing each other and Remus found himself running his hands over the fabric of his old t-shirt, feeling the curve of her waist running into her hip. There was something soothing about feeling her feminine frame beneath his clothes, like they were somehow a part of each other, she being all of his strength and all the good things about him, he felt like he was tainting her on his worst days.

‘I think you’re dwelling too much.’ She whispered, her beautiful, deep eyes scanning whatever she could see of him, her pink lips gliding over the words and her warm voice finding its way to settle somewhere inside of him. ‘I think you need to get out of this house once in a while.’

‘And do what?’

Angelina thought for a moment, before smiling. ‘Why don’t you help out at the shop for a while? Maybe just a couple of days a week, just to get out of here and focussing on something else for a while.’

Remus sucked in a deep breath. Angelina was so right, he’d been locked up in their house renovating throughout most of the year, but when that came to a finish, he mostly just read the same old books and pottered about trying to stay busy. He only ever spoke to Angelina and Sirius after a while, James was busy with Quidditch, Lily at St Mungo’s and he had no real reason to leave save for when Angelina asked him to go to lunch with her, but even those moments were few and far between. Maybe being at the shop was exactly what he needed to feel human again.

Remus pressed his lips to her smiling mouth and felt himself needing her the way he often did when the days were hard. He was slow and methodical, treating every patch of skin like something precious and sacred, she was everything good about him and she deserved to feel as such.


	19. Am I A Monster?

David had been working most of the week, switching over some of the creatures from their winter enclosures to the summer ones and getting everything ready for when the students came back to Hogwarts. He loved the castle, it reminded him of everything he always wanted, to belong. 

Angie had wanted to see him to catch up, but her letter was a little strange and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

David,  
I apologise in advance, but I am writing this without looking at the page. I can’t risk the brother seeing my true intentions and trying to stop me.  
I want to come and see you, I’ll be making a quick stop tomorrow with some news.  
Under no circumstances should you mention this letter or anything out loud that could be seen as threatening.   
The brother is watching and listening.  
Angie.

David trusted his friend, he didn’t question her intentions for the time being, knowing that she struggled daily with something he didn’t fully understand, he patiently waited for her to turn up, for her to initiate whatever conversation he was about to fall into. 

‘David.’ He heard her confident voice behind him as he was clearing up some broken wood from the Thestral enclosure. 

‘Angie.’ He smiled and hugged his old friend as tight as he could. ‘How are you?’

‘Same as ever,’ she chuckled. ‘And you?’

‘Same as ever, tired and still going strong.’ David could sense the impending conversation, but he remembered the letter and the brother inside her. ‘Come on, you haven’t seen the unicorns recently, have you?’

David took her a little deeper into the forest to where he’d set up a small feeding enclosure for the unicorns that ran through the forest at night. He was very proud of the work he’d been doing at Hogwarts, he felt like this was what he was meant for, the ministry was just too complicated for him and he was no longer interested in material things or one-sided relationships. 

Cassie had been right, he was just too immature to really know what he wanted, she’d moved on and found someone who could give her what she needed and for a while, he felt heartbroken, but soon he learned to appreciate that he had a lot of work to do on himself. David was reinventing himself, trying to be a new man and one that he could be proud of.

He almost forgot the letter and Angie’s worries, they spent the whole afternoon joking around and fixing up a few broken enclosures and homes to various creatures. Eventually they sat at the edge of the forest looking up at the castle and remembering the old days, the ones where they laughed and ran and grew into the people they now were. 

David absorbed the silence for a moment, closing his eyes and relaxing into the wooden chair comfortably.

_David, do not make it obvious that I am speaking with you._

His eyes snapped open and he looked at Angie who was sipped her tea, giving no indication strange had just happened. David settled back and frowned to himself.

_David, stay calm. I’m trying to avoid suspicion from the brother._

_Okay._

David found himself answering, though he was unsure if it was really happening.

_I have so much I need to tell you, but it might be better for Benji to do it some other time. It takes a lot for me to communicate this way and I’ll need to be quick before the brother realises something is wrong._

_What do you mean?_

_I can’t really explain right now, but I promise I will. I just have to ask you a question… say I knew something, or at least strongly suspected, to the point where it may as well be the absolute truth, and say knowing this thing could cost someone their entire life, they would be arrested, sent to Azkaban and never been allowed to see the light of day again. But this person was also entirely innocent, the crime committed was not really them, but someone else. Would you tell Benji?_

David was silent for a while, he couldn’t quite catch all of his emotions or thoughts, but it sounded like Angie knew something she shouldn’t have known. He knew that she and Benji were investigating the brothers and a few other things he couldn’t quite remember, but if this was something she was worried about telling him then it was more serious than David could imagine.

_What’s going on Angie? What do you know?_

_I won’t utter the words until I know it is absolute, undeniable fact. But I’m worried. Remus has been having nightmares about me attacking him… I feel as though… well… I just know that there is a possibility that Benji won’t understand the way I need him to._

David sighed and tried to understand.

_Angie, I can’t really help until I know what it is you’re so afraid of._

Angie took a deep breath and smiled so casually. ‘Any chance of Hagrid having left anything to drink?’ She asked and David was unsure of what exactly was happening, but he smiled all the same and went to find Hagrid’s stash of butterbeer. 

He handed her a bottle and sat back, sipping his own pumpkin juice.

‘You know, Remus really helped me while you were away.’ He said, making Angie frown at him. ‘He came to my house and gave me a pep talk for about four hours.’ David chuckled. ‘I needed it though… he was there for me when I thought no one else was. He was right, it’s not healthy to keep things locked up, I’m sure it’s something he’s already said to you… but then you were always a slow learner.’ David winked and it took a moment for his friend to laugh.

Angie didn’t communicate into his mind again that evening, instead she promised she would finally invite everyone over for a housewarming party and she would at least see him for the final task of the tournament. 

David was so looking forward to it, having helped build some of the maze himself, he was very proud of what had been created.

_One wolf will die.   
One wolf will live.  
One wolf will sacrifice.  
The last wolf will kill.  
The last wolf will end the bloodline.  
A dynasty will burn to ash.  
No Lockwood will be left standing._

_The curse of the brothers will end with the daughter.  
The daughter will know bloodshed like no other.  
The she-wolf will know pain. Will know agony like nothing else.  
The she-wolf will give her life to the bloodline. _

_The last wolf will end the War of the Lockwoods.  
The last wolf will know pain beyond war.  
The last wolf will end the Lockwood dynasty.  
All will bathe in the fury of the wolves._

The Prophecy. I had locked it away in a safe room of the temple in my soul, the brother had no access, no way of knowing if I had opened the chest or not and when I did, I heard the words loudly and clearly.

Everyone was right, this would end in a war and I had no guarantee that anyone would survive. Darren and I would fight each other and one of us would die at the hands of the other. History would repeat itself.

I sat at my desk in my research lab and quietly thought about each part of the prophecy. Several things were immediately obvious, Darren and I would be the end of the Lockwood family, there would be a bloody and violent war and no one had any hope of surviving any of it.

I couldn’t let that happen.

Prophecies were hard things to decipher and there were things that didn’t make an awful lot of sense straight away, such as the reference to the ‘she-wolf’. Surely it was talking about me, but the way it was worded seemed wrong somehow. In all my research about prophecies I knew one thing for sure, when they were first made, they could only be heard by the people whom it was in reference to. Eventually magic evolved and changed slightly so that prophecies could only be collected by those whom they were about, but the basics remained the same in terms of containment and structure.

All of my families knowledge of the prophecy, therefore, came from an old text written by Felix once he’d listened to the seer speaking, so it made sense that no one had been able to hear it since then and that the only things really known with any amount of certainty, was that my birth signalled the end and a war would wipe us out.

The tears flowed freely and viciously. Everything I had worked for, everything I had ever wanted or strived to achieve, ultimately would mean nothing in the end. Remus may not have survived and I wouldn’t want to if I lost him, Darren might have killed me and he wouldn’t want to live if he did and my parents would probably be destroyed in the fighting. Everything would end and nothing would be left.

Remus had been at the shop that day and wouldn’t get home until late, but I needed him, I needed him to reassure me that our dream of life was still there, that there was still hope. I was getting tired of keeping so many secrets, I was exhausted of maintaining so much control over the brother, trying to keep Darren sane, trying not to believe that he had done anything wrong. I was just so tired all the time and I didn’t know what to do.

‘Angelina?’ Remus said quietly behind me. I turned to see the fading smile as he approached me. ‘What’s wrong?’

‘Remus.’ I breathed. ‘Will you… I just… I need you.’ The tears burst from my eyes again, exploding outwards, but Remus was immediately on his knees in front of me, holding me close to his warm body, kissing the side of my head and whispering that everything would be okay.

He carefully slid his arms beneath me and carried me to bed. He slowly undressed me until I was entirely naked next to him and as slowly as he done the previous few nights, he kissed every part of me with absolute care and precision. His hands cradled my body against his, he whispered how much he loved me, I wrapped my legs around his waist and felt the depth of his love all over again.

‘Remus.’ I whispered into his hair, I could hear him panting into my neck and ran my fingers lightly down his back, feeling the familiar scars that settled me, knowing that no one else in the world felt the way Remus felt. ‘I’m scared.’

‘Of what?’ He whispered into my neck, but instead of sending shivers down my body, it forced tears to leave the corners of my eyes.

‘What if I’m the monster who will end the world?’

Remus lifted himself to see my face, he smiled sympathetically and kissed my cheeks, letting his lips absorb my tears. 

‘You’re not a monster, Angelina.’ He breathed against my lips. ‘You’re the most beautiful creature I have ever seen in my life and I promise, if the world ends, it will not be because of you. It will be because of people with no love in their hearts and no passion in their souls, something you have an overwhelming amount of.’ Remus kissed me softly and ran his fingers through my hair. ‘Do you believe me?’

I didn’t really know the answer, I wanted to. I wanted so badly to believe that my future was not set in stone and it could be anything I wanted it to be, but listening to the prophecy was everything I feared.

‘I love you.’ It was all I could think to say and it at least made Remus smile for a while. We fell asleep late into the evening and every time I woke up, I moved my body closer to Remus, knowing that he was everything good in this world, he was kind and compassionate and handsome and smart and only ever wanted the best for people. He was everything that was good about me.


	20. The Devastating Truth

A second straight season victory, the Falmouth Falcons had done it again and Darren was feeling particularly pleased with himself. He had a good game against Puddlemere United, the last of the season, it was well fought out and they needed to win by sixty points in order to go top of the table and beat the Tornadoes to win the League title. He had a good public rivalry going with James Potter, everyone thought them to be people who disliked each other, but it couldn’t be further from the truth, he liked the competition James gave him and often they would train together privately in preparation for international games.

Everywhere Darren went, people knew his face, they knew his name and they knew his life. At least they thought they did. He was constantly plagued by the brother inside him, talking to him, pushing him into more training, making him feel weak, the only time he didn’t make Darren feel weak was on a broom. The brother would help Darren get through the tough matches by taking away any pain and helping him dodge rogue bludgers if needed. 

One match stood out early in the season, it was against the Chudley Canons, who should have been an easy game, but they had acquired a new beater from Argentina who was more aggressive than necessary, sending a bludger towards Darren, skimming his face and causing blood to constantly drip into his eye. The brother had helped Darren by forcing his body to fly through the air, darting in and out of players where he needed to. Darren made him promise not to do that again, unless it was a life-threatening situation, a lost game wasn’t anything to worry too much about, but Angie was right, he couldn’t allow the brother too much access.

Darren had been treated at St Mungo’s on and off for periods of black outs, it had been from an excessive accumulation of head injuries and was just something Darren would need to learn to live with. He took potions to subdue the black outs and it had worked for the most part, high stress was always a trigger, so Darren had been practising his meditation every day like Angie had told him to.

She had been to all his games that season, save one where she couldn’t get out of an assignment from the minister, he didn’t mind, he actually liked the fact that she was watching him, it made him feel safer somehow.

Darren was pleased with Remus helping out at the shop and agreed it would be good for him to do so as often as possible as most of the customer base liked his company. He knew there was a particular woman who came in regularly to see him and Darren had heard from Casper that Remus would always find some reason to head down to the basement just to get away from her attention.

Darren reminded himself every day he woke up that he was doing a good thing, giving werewolves a second chance at life, giving them jobs without prejudice, there wasn’t a werewolf he’d turn away if they needed help. Darren wanted Angie to do something useful with her research and her new book on Puffapods would be the perfect thing to keep her going, Lockwood’s Wolfsbane was the first great success she had, this would be the next one and Darren was certain there would be a thousand more if she could help it. 

His sister was the world to him and he would go to any length to protect that.

However, he had a secret that she could never know, a terrible and dangerous truth. Darren knew how this would end and he knew, like Angie, events had been set in motion and there was no turning back now.

It had started with nightmares, every night, Darren tried to comfort her, had tried to convince her that he could never harm her, but the nightmares became so intense that she soon began to fear him. The mild irritation he had for that became fully fledged anger before he knew it and then, one evening, he lost control… his world ended.

Angie knew what he had done, whether she wanted to admit it or not, Darren had failed his sister, he allowed the brother too much room, too much control and the result was absolute devastation. All he could do was damage control. The brother had taught him some very old magic; how to extract certain things from the collective consciousness, and although Darren wasn’t powerful enough to inflict that extraction on the world, he could do it to a room full of reporters who would write about him without his stint in Azkaban looming over his career, he could allow it to spread like a virus and seep into everyone else who made contact with those stories. It was old magic, but in order to save his family’s name and his sister, it had to be done.

Darren was happy to make the sacrifice for his family, he was happy to bear the weight of the guilt so that his family didn’t have to, he would be the one who was tainted so that Angie could live the life she always deserved. He could do that for her.

I looked down the table at my brother, whilst everyone else was talking about our new house and enjoying Remus and Sirius telling stories about renovating it, Darren sat dwelling in his guilt and every often a flicker of memory would cross his mind. He killed her. No, that couldn’t be right, he’d allowed the brother to control his movements on the quidditch pitch far too many times and with Darren’s black outs, it was more than enough room for the brother to take advantage.

I swallowed thickly and watched Darren for a while, he was thinking too hard on it, like he was trying to remember more clearly, like the memory of it wasn’t quite his. The brother’s were more than capable of allowing small pieces of memory to slip into our consciousness, I’d experienced it with the one inside me, so it was more than possible, in fact it was almost a certainty, that the brother was allowing the most horrific moments to pass into Darren’s consciousness.

_It wasn’t your fault. It was his._

Darren’s gaze snapped up to mine.

_Don’t you dare give up now, not after what he did to her. You’re stronger than this Darren. Don’t you dare let him take control like this._

I felt Remus’s hand slide over mine while David was telling some animated story about his third years, I felt his concern, but I needed to make sure my brother could hear me and understood that I would not let him fail.

_No one loves you like I do Darren. That will never change._

‘Angelina?’ Remus whispered, quietly enough that no one else could hear. I looked at him, looking terribly handsome in his much newer green shirt, it complimented his blue eyes and I enjoyed the way he looked in it. ‘You alright?’

‘Fine,’ I nodded, feeling incredibly guilty. ‘Just feeling full from dinner.’ 

I could tell he didn’t believe me entirely, but he gave me a look of realisation that said he understood that there may have been something else going on at the table besides David’s stories. 

I took a breath and looked back down the table as subtly as I could, Darren sat back in his chair, looking a little more focussed than before, he was giving off every impression that he was relaxed, but I knew he was tense.

_I won’t let him win, Angie. I won’t let you down._

As soon as I heard the words, I let a relief breath leave my lungs. My kind and good hearted brother was still in there somewhere, still fighting and I could at least be grateful for that. The next challenge came in figuring out what to do with the information I now had about Clara’s disappearance. She was gone, I was fairly sure of that before, but I had no idea how involved Darren had been. I decided to sit back a little, just out of view of Darren, behind David’s broad frame and try to listen to the comforting stories of my friends.

The night rolled on and although I couldn’t put the images out of my mind, Darren at least wasn’t avoiding any internal conversation with me. He knew he couldn’t quite remember everything, but maybe I could find out for him, maybe I could find the memory if I had the time and access I needed. 

I watched Benji, Remus, Sirius and David all discussing some kind of structural subject concerning the roof in my kitchen, it was making me slightly nervous for Remus’s next project admittedly. He was already looking forward to clear a wall in the living room to put in a full length bookshelf, we’d put most of them either in our bedroom or my lab, but they were currently stacked up making it difficult to move without tripping up or walking into books. 

Jocelyne was talking to Darren and Lily with James telling some animated story about some Quidditch match from the previous season and I had decided to clean up a little from dinner. Remus had found a new love for cooking, not that I didn’t like it, but with the amount of books he was reading, he soon ventured into some cooking books here and there and tried some things out. 

It was while I was washing a few plates and thinking on what Darren was going through that Remus finally approached me.

‘You know there are spells to do that.’ He smiled, I could see that he’d had one or two drinks too many, but I honestly didn’t mind, at least I knew he’d sleep that night.

‘I know, I just wanted to think for a moment or two.’ I put one of the plates on the drying board and grabbed a tea towel to dry my hands, it was only then that I saw my hands were actually shaking.

Remus noticed, frowning slightly and cradled my hands in his, helping me dry them. ‘Are you alright?’ I tried to smile and was about to say something to make him feel better. But I didn’t get that chance. ‘If you’re about to lie in an attempt to make me feel better, then you may as well not say anything.’

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I felt like I was being told off a little, but also overwhelmed that there was nothing I could say that wouldn’t be a lie or a truth I wasn’t ready to tell just yet. Remus sighed and wrapped his arms around me, holding me gently against his warm body, it was a feeling I was growing to both love and hate. I loved how he felt, but I hated the fact that I could barely get through the days without needing it. 

‘Remus?’ James quietly interrupted the moment and I turned away so that he couldn’t see that I was emotional. ‘We’re heading off now.’

‘Right, I’ll see you out.’ Remus cleared his throat and went to walk his old friend out. I heard James asking if I was alright and Remus immediately making something up about just being tired and needing a break. I loved him for that. I loved that he came to my rescue without even thinking about it. 

I managed to pick myself up enough to laugh at Sirius and David, playfully arguing about something to with a secret passageway within Hogwarts. I couldn’t make heads or tails of it, I was slightly more concerned with how distant Darren looked.

_The final task will be a good time to find the memory, it’ll be full of people and plenty of reason for us to stay quiet so that I can focus. Can you hold on until then?_

_I’ll try._

I took a deep breath and felt Remus’s light touch on the base of my spine, it was the exact same spot every time, where I’d broken my back twice. The pain of those memories flared momentarily, before being replaced by Remus’s loving expression as he handed me another butterbeer. I didn’t drink much that night, but maybe a few would help me calm down a little.

Remus could tell so easily that something had happened in the space of a few minutes and although she didn’t tell him what it was, he did everything he could to make Angelina feel a little better for a while, at least until she was ready to say whatever was on her mind. 

The evening went on into the night and almost everyone was drunk, David and Sirius were staying over in the spare room, but Jocelyne and Benji needed to get back to Jocelyne’s parents to make sure the children were alright, not that they’d be awake at that time. Darren decided it was time for him to go as well, not wanting outstay his welcome, Remus had the distinct impression that wasn’t the reason at all, but didn’t push it at all. 

Angelina had set up a temporary apparation site that would allow everyone to head home without walking half a mile away from the house. He had no idea she knew how to perform that type of magic or how she kept it hidden from the ministry who would surely have kept tabs on such things, but as long as everyone got home safe and sound then he supposed it didn’t matter.

Remus went back into the house to see that Angelina had put his cardigan on, her hair was up in a loose bun and she was cleaning up the mess left behind by everyone, with Sirius and David doing their best to help. 

He couldn’t help but smile at her ordering the two men around, she still looked a little unsteady, like all those years of fighting and struggling were beginning to catch up to her, none of it took away from her beauty or the strength she showed every day, but Remus could see the cracks starting to form in Angelina’s shell and it only made him love her more fiercely than before.

Once all the cleaning up had been done and Sirius could be heard snoring loudly in the spare room with David getting progressively more annoyed, Remus gently closed the bedroom door, avoiding the stacks of books he’d been meaning to build a shelf for and turned to see Angelina laying on the bed, her eyes closed and she sighed. 

It was the smoothness of her skin that had him approaching her slowly, he wasn’t touching her but the memory of her would always be imprinted on him. He watched her smile a little as she felt his thoughts towards her body. 

Remus leaned down, placing his hands either side of her and kissed her soft lips. She smiled against him, kissing him back just as softly. He travelled slowly down her neck, peppering her smooth skin with love, reaching the curve between her neck and shoulder, the one he hurt, the one where his vicious teeth had previous sunk into. Angelina never seemed to care much about it anymore, she had other things to be concerned with. He could feel her hands still shaking and now that he was close, he could hear her breath was shallow. Remus was hardly doing anything to warrant that reaction. He brought his face up to look at her properly.

‘Do you want to talk about anything?’ He asked, trying to be gentle with the subject.

Angelina sighed, opening her darkened eyes. ‘Honestly?’ She whispered, letting a tear fall freely down her cheek. ‘Tonight, I just want to forget everything that isn’t us.’ She brought her hand up to stroke his cheek, down to his jaw. ‘Will you help me do that?’ 

Remus just watched her for a moment, he knew that he fell in love with someone who wouldn’t lead the most normal of lives, or even the quietest, but he loved her all the same, the woman she was, the woman she wanted to be, even the hard things about her, like her stubbornness, her refusal to just stay away from conflict, her internal struggles, her insecurities and doubts, he loved every piece of her, because there was no one in this world like her. 

Remus kissed her softly at first, but soon it turned needy and passionate, his tongue twisted with hers, her hands were beneath his shirt, tracing his scars with such precision and familiarity. He pressed his mouth to her scars and poured all his love into her. Remus held her gaze as she sank down onto him, softly sighing against his mouth as her fingers pressed into his shoulders and back; she was incredibly beautiful, everything about her being, her body, her eyes, her soul, was beautiful and Remus couldn’t let go so soon, he needed to make this last forever.


	21. Past Horrors

This was it, I’d done everything I could to prepare, I delved into some of Remus’s memories, innocent ones, ones specific to what I was searching for and found mild success with him building up to blocking me. I told him I was investigating a memory the brother didn’t want me to see, I still didn’t quite have the heart to tell him the whole truth, I wasn’t sure he could handle it, because I wasn’t handling it. 

In the moments I found myself alone walking through the forest behind my home or through the fields in front, I would allow myself to cry and to cry loudly and violently, anything that would let out some of the grief I was holding onto. I couldn’t let Remus see that just yet, not until I knew for sure what had actually happened to Clara. 

It was like he still didn’t realise she was gone, he would read the paper and comment on Darren’s successes in the season, but never once did the thought of Clara cross his mind and it was killing me to keep the secret.

Remus was the one to suggest that I looked into his dreams, claiming that because they weren’t exactly memories they would have been difficult to find and would further test my ability. It was obvious that Remus was just trying to help, but he didn’t seem particularly comfortable with the whole thing. The only plus side was that he couldn’t feel me in there at all, it was a positive sign that Darren and the brother wouldn’t feel me either and I could search for the memory undisturbed.

‘May I ask something a little out of turn?’ Remus said moments before Benji arrived to take us both to Hogwarts. I nodded, putting my coat on and checking myself in the mirror next to our front door. ‘I’m not quite sure of how to ask this, but do… when you feel certain things around me, my thoughts or feelings… how clear are they, or rather can you see…?’

I smiled and slid my arms around his waist. 

‘Remus, I try with everything I have to stay out of your head,’ I felt him deflate with relief. ‘I wouldn’t dare intrude like that unless you asked me to. This memory I’m trying to find is a difficult one and I’m not exactly sure of what I will find inside it, but everything you’ve done for me up to this point…’ I looked up at his concerned face. ‘I can’t really express how much I appreciate it.’ I let my fingers trace through his slightly scruffy beard. ‘I know it isn’t easy right now, but it’s about to get better, I promise.’

‘Good.’ Remus smiled, he wasn’t one hundred percent settled, but I could see that he was at least feeling a little better about everything. ‘I still trust you, Angelina and I still love you… but I’m afraid it doesn’t stop me from worrying about what you’re doing. I need you to come home safe and sound, no matter if you just go to Diagon Alley or Hogwarts, I still worry that you won’t come back to me and I don’t know what I would do if that happened.’

I watched his worried eyes dart around my face, as if he was committing it to memory. I tried to smile again and gently leaned up to kiss him. ‘I’ll come home, safe and sound tonight.’

I felt his lips pull into a half smile and then a full one. ‘And when you do, I’ll finally have this bookshelf finished.’ Remus pulled away slightly and ran his fingers through my thick hair. ‘Have fun, Angelina, try not to worry too much and keep your focus. I’ll see you tonight.’ Remus kissed me once more and I absorbed all the warmth I could, feeling a small amount of guilt sitting in the pit of my stomach. ‘I love you.’

‘I love you too.’ I whispered and stopped the tears before they fell. I took a breath and pulled back, playfully pushing him into the living room. ‘Come on, get to work. I want those shelves up and sturdy by the time I get back, otherwise there’ll be trouble.’

‘Not always a bad thing.’ It was such a rare thing for us to flirt with each other these days, but I loved every moment we found to do just that. 

I rolled my eyes, laughing as I left the house, finding that Benji was just approaching as I did.

‘Alright, Angie?’ Benji nodded, he looked very debonair in his long grey coat and black shirt. He was making an effort for the final task, probably on Kingsley’s asking. 

‘Alright.’ I nodded and we apparated to Hogwarts, running into Tonks who was looking a little brighter as she had been assigned as Darren’s protection and Benji was given the official task of looking after me. I wouldn’t have had anyone else.

There were a few official pictures taken at the beginning of the task and Darren joked that the tournament was the one place in the whole world that I would be more famous than him. I didn’t think that was right, but I didn’t argue, I just laughed with him and eventually took our seats between Benji and Tonks.

Darren was nervous, I could feel it, but he was doing a good job of hiding it from everyone else. The one thing I didn’t anticipate was the sudden feeling of shell shock when the canon went off next to my head, I felt my heart racing and time speeding up and the length of the maze shooting past me, I could see the sphinx and the blast-ended skrewt, I could feel the mist seeping into the old scar on my forearm, I could hear the crying of Fleur, before time stopped completely and all I could see was the blue light of the cup. It was all consuming for just a moment, but suddenly I was back to reality and the cheering of the crowd was overwhelming me the same way it did all those years ago.

‘Angie, you’re alright.’ Benji said, putting his arm around me. ‘You’re okay, you’re not going in there, you’re sitting here, safe and sound. Nothing is going to get you, alright?’ I could feel myself focussing and calming down. ‘That’s it, just breathe.’ 

I had hoped to start finding the memory as soon as Darren and I sat down, but the sudden memory of the maze had thrown me off guard and I was sure it would limit my time and ability. Suddenly all those moments where Remus helped me to focus and find memories in his mind felt like it was all just a fruitless task and I would fail miserably and Darren would suffer and more bad things would happen.

‘Angie.’ Darren caught my attention, his big blue eyes penetrating my gaze, it was such a rare thing for my brother to do now. ‘You’re okay, I’m right here. Just stay focussed on the good things… focus on Remus, he’s doing those shelves right? Just think about that for a while and you’ll be okay.’

He was right, any time I had been at a loss or unfocussed, Remus was always the one to bring me back to myself and help me figure things out. I thought about his face, his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his beard, his hair, his expressions when he was happy or joking about something, the way he’d wander around the garden checking that everything was growing the way I wanted it to, the way he’d look up and smile at me, not realising I was watching. That was my Remus, that was the man I loved more than anything. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, when I opened them I found that all the champions had entered the maze, they were on their own now and I needed to get to work quickly. 

I took a few more deep breaths and silently communicated to Benji that I was attempting something, I asked him to make sure I wasn’t disturbed otherwise I might have been found out and if that should happen, everyone would be at risk. 

I didn’t want to intrude into Darren’s mind just yet and so attempted something with Benji, looking at the first time we met on our way to Hogwarts, I saw it all from his point of view and much to my delight he didn’t think anything unusual was happening. 

I cleared my throat and leaned over to Darren. ‘Was it this nerve-racking when I went in?’ I half smiled.

Darren just laughed and shook his head. ‘No, it’s was terrifying.’ I felt my smiled fade a little. ‘You’re my sister and even though you fought a dragon and whatever was at the bottom of the lake, I was still worried that this would be the end. You were in there for ages and none of us knew really what was happening… it’s the one thing that made me want to burn the maze to the ground. The fact that I couldn’t help you when you really needed me to.’

I thought hard on Darren’s words while we watched the Champions in the maze, Harry was doing quite well, but the maze had a logic that he would need to catch onto sooner rather than later.

I took one more deep breath, nodding to Darren who gave me a concerned look, before fully focussing on finding the memory of Clara.

It had been months of the same thing. Every day Clara would wake and Darren would be his cheerful and kind self, but something would be wrong, she would be fearful and timid, no longer the wise and still woman she used to be, but now filled with worry and a fear of harm. I’d never seen her so worn down before. Darren was kind and gentle, even sleeping in the spare room to give her some space, but it only escalated from there. 

Clara didn’t feel safe, she spent longer and longer at work and rarely made a game towards the end of the season, she gave excuses here and there and Darren accepted them, knowing the real reason why she didn’t come home early or go to games. After a while, he stopped asking. I was away in Tibet and Darren was getting progressively more and more worried about that, but he could no longer speak to Clara about his worries, because every time he looked at her, all he could feel was guilt and shame.

She began locking the door to the spare room, terrified that at some point in the night her nightmares would come true. Darren let her do whatever it was she needed to do in order to feel safe, but they never spoke about how to fix things, they never even spoke about how terrified she really was. 

Darren was so sad, he would cry and hold a pillow close to his chest, pretending it was her, pretending that everything was okay, but it wasn’t. She was so scared and the brother was only telling Darren the things he wanted to hear and very little of it seemed to be comforting.

The memory was changing the further through I went, I needed to find the moment Darren went to the ministry to pick her up from work. It was a tough search and I needed to take a break. Cedric had just found Harry in the maze but somehow the monitoring device had been swept up by the wind as the first Champion was removed from the maze. I was running out of time.

I took another breath, feigning relief and went back into Darren’s mind, he was at home.

Darren looked at himself in the mirror, clearly he had been crying, he was upset, but he was making an effort. He went into the kitchen and made preparations for dinner, Clara liked her steak and Darren liked making it, he got everything ready, put on his best navy shirt and coat and left the house late into the evening apparating to the ministry. He was almost caught by a crowd of people walking in the opposite direction, but luckily they recognised him and moved aside for him. Darren was used to people doing things like that for him.

He was anxious, afraid almost of Clara’s reaction to seeing him. He bumped into Arthur Weasley seconds after seeing the shimmering, black hair of the woman he loved and quickly apologised to the man in question.

‘So, sorry Arthur.’ Darren said, picking up the older man’s briefcase that had been knocked from his hand.

‘Don’t you worry, son.’ Arthur chuckled. ‘Never look where I’m going these days. It was a good game at the weekend by the way, Ron’s devastated the Canons lost, but there’s only so much that can be done.’

‘Well, I can only apologise, I hear they’re looking at a new beater.’

‘They need more than a beater to turn their luck around.’ Arthur laughed heartily. Darren loved that he was always in such a positive mood no matter what. ‘Anyway, I’ll leave you to it, maybe see you again when the Canons have finally turned it around.’

‘Oh come on, Arthur, you know I’d love to see you more regularly than that.’ Darren joked, making Arthur laugh and nod in agreement.

Darren made his way towards Clara, aware that Arthur had been cornered by someone asking if he’d really just spoken with Darren Lockwood. Darren tried not to listen though, instead, he ran his hand nervously through his thick, dark hair and wandered straight up to Clara who jumped in surprise. 

It was a hard thing to see, a woman who was once, slender but strong, dark, hypnotising and elegant with every move she made, suddenly look so fearful. I never thought anything would get the better of Clara Wells, I thought she would out live us all. 

‘Darren!’ She almost cried the word, before pretending to be happily surprised, but Darren saw through the façade instantly.

‘I thought I’d come and pick you up.’ He said, the sadness and anger already building like it always did when he saw her. ‘Thought it would be a nice surprise.’

Clara’s mouth opened and closed a few times, she tried not to step back, but the three or four feet between them just didn’t seem to be enough distance for her and she lost balance slightly. She quickly gave a forced smile and nodded, saying nothing.

‘Can I hold your hand?’ Darren asked, fully prepared for the answer to be a firm no, but to his delight, she nodded, keeping her gaze on the floor as he slipped his hand into hers. He could feel her shaking, she was cold and a little sweaty, making her hands clammy, but he was used to the feeling now and said nothing.

They apparated home to Cornwall, the smell of the sea invading his lungs and suddenly a pair of black eyes appeared in his vision, disappearing as quickly as they appeared. I wondered if it had even been real for a moment and continued to watch my brother take Clara into the warm house and show her that he could still be kind and loving and gentle. 

He played music and made her dinner, even ran her a bath when it looked like she was struggling and stiffening up. He tried so hard to be the man she fell in love with, he asked her about her day and how Lyall was doing, but all he really got as a response was short sentences and they were vague at best.

Darren was letting the frustration get the better of him and soon an argument broke out, except I noticed that Clara wasn’t saying much. Darren felt like it was an argument, but truthfully it seemed he was just angry and taking it out on her.

Suddenly the memory changed again and those big black eyes were back. It was as if Darren was looking out at the world through them, like a prisoner inside his own body. I felt him resisting every move he made, internally screaming for his body to stop and turn away from the bedroom door. He caught sight of himself in the mirror in the hallway and I saw something that almost made me scream out loud.

The creature was strong, almost bursting through the white t-shirt, the skin beneath was greyish and sickly, Darren’s face looked like it was midway through transformation, his hair was more like fur, his stubbled jaw was thicker and his eyes were black, pouring with evil.

Darren stalked towards the door, I could hear the screams inside his head, begging the creature to stop to turn back, but it never did. The door leading to Clara burst open and without any hesitation, the creature Darren was trapped inside leapt onto the bed and sank it’s teeth into her neck. Thick, heavy blood poured between the small gaps between each tooth and I could taste the coppery taste of life leaving her body. The screams from Clara were silent, the creature had ruptured her vocal chords, it’s sharpened claws sank into the sides of her ribs as it dropped her almost lifeless body to the bed.

‘Darren.’ She mouthed, barely above a whisper. ‘Please.’ Tears silently left her strangely serene face, an expression of acceptance of her fate, and the creature sank it’s claws deeper, pushing through and clamping down hard, Darren fighting for control, but he was only delaying to inevitable, he was only causing her more pain by fighting for control and stopping the creature from pulling her body apart immediately.

Darren screamed and it sounded more like a strangled howl, but it was all pain and rage and heartbreak. The creature collected up what remained of Clara’s body and dragged her out to the darkened cliffside, tossing over the edge like it was barely anything to be concerned about, as if he was just throwing some rubbish into a bin. That was what the brothers thought of Clara and I felt my won anger bubbling just beneath the surface. 

The creature wandered back into the house, I could feel the blood dripping down my arms and down my neck as it magically cleaned the sheets and showered, manoeuvring Darren’s body back into bed to sleep.

Sweat had been pouring down my face and I didn’t even realise. Benji had his wand subtly pointed at me and was carefully removing it before anyone saw, I appreciated it and when I looked at him, I felt such heartbreak. Darren didn’t even know what he did, but it was devastating, the brother was torturing him with half truths, he was making him believe he was a bad person, but my brother screamed for Clara, he fought harder than he’d ever fought before just to save her. 

Benji frowned at me and I couldn’t react, I had to maintain the calmness I had at the beginning of the task, there was only so much I could put down to post traumatic stress before Darren and Benji would become suspicious and I couldn’t let that happen. 

‘Still haven’t found them yet.’ Benji whispered quietly, I almost broke there and then. 

I looked up to see that the monitor still hadn’t found the Cedric and Harry yet and something was telling me that something very bad had happened. I frowned, sitting up and suddenly, through some unknown force of nature, my gaze turned to Mad-Eye Moody. He almost looked pleased, he was listening into the conversation between Dumbledore and the headmaster for the American school. I wasn’t exactly sure what to make-

‘Angie.’ Benji exclaimed, suddenly I felt my chest caving in, an extreme force of nature, passing through every part of my body, it was thick and suffocating, coming at me in waves, each one more powerful than the last. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think or even see properly. I was on the floor, staring up at the starry sky and wondering if this was what it felt like to die. Was this what Clara felt?

I heard the cheers of the crowd who hadn’t been too concerned with what they presumed was my fainting spell, and somehow managed to suck in a deeper breath. The crowd noise changed and suddenly I heard the scream of someone seeing something. I tried to get up, Benji did his best to help, but Darren was the one to stop me from seeing whatever had emerged from the maze.

‘Angie, he’s gone.’ Darren said, but who was he talking about? ‘Angie, you don’t need to see.’

I could hear Amos Diggory yelling and screaming. ‘That’s my son! That’s my boy!’ I stopped struggling and let my eyes close, Darren was right, I didn’t need to see what happened, I didn’t need to see anything ever again. I let myself sit back down and try to absorb everything that had happened in the past few hours, but nothing in the world could have prepared me for this. 

Benji kept his hand on my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me, but I could still feel the overwhelming darkness sitting in the centre of my chest… I’d felt that before.

‘Benji,’ I said, piercing through the shock and silence only disturbed by Amos’s crying. ‘Something’s wrong.’ I pleaded.

‘I know, I know.’ Benji said, sitting with me and trying to keep me calm. ‘Cedric was a good-‘

‘It’s not Cedric.’ I interrupted him. ‘It’s something else… Nakamura.’ I breathed. I suddenly realised where and when I’d felt darkness like this before.

‘As in Yoshi? He’s in prison, the Japanese have been keeping him locked up for years now. He’s not here.’

‘He isn’t, but someone else is.’ Something unimaginably bad dawned on me, there were very few wizards who could cause such a powerful feeling of darkness to wash over me and one who had been feared to return for years now. ‘Voldemort.’ I breathed, fear trickling down my spine and that of Benji’s it seemed. 

‘Harry yelled something before Mad-Eye took him away to calm down,’ Darren sat down beside me, having heard the conversation between myself and Benji. ‘He just kept saying “he’s back”… surely not.’

‘Mad-Eye.’ I whispered and suddenly my feet found themselves and I was running through the crowd, past Amos who was still sobbing and screaming. ‘Where did Mad-Eye go?’ I yelled at McGonagall who jumped, before pointing in the direction of the castle. ‘It was him.’ I said and began sprinting hard towards the Dark Arts classroom. 

I could hear people behind me, racing to catch up, Darren really only being able to keep pace with me. It looked as though we were just in time, I got the door open and managed to stun Mad-Eye seconds before he killed Harry. My chest was about to cave in again, I could feel it.

‘Get behind me Harry.’ I ordered him as Darren and I slowly approached the stunned man on the floor. 

‘Angie, that can’t be Mad-Eye.’ Darren said, he was panting just as hard as I was. I tried to focus and concentrate everything I had on the man in front of me. It was a familiar darkness.

‘You were at the World Cup.’ I said, slowly. ‘You were the one who set off the Dark Mark… who are you?’

Dumbledore, Snape and McGonagall came rushing in after us and soon things began falling into place. Snape had gone to get Veritaserum and McGonagall went to deliver messages to the relevant people.

Once Snape had returned the truth finally came out. Barty Crouch Jr was behind everything and I felt such rage at myself for not seeing it sooner. He was the one at the World Cup, he was the one I could sense so close, he was the one who hid in plain sight. Every single time I thought I could feel a Death Eater, I was either in the middle of a crowd and suffering the bombardment of everyone else’s thoughts and worries, or I was focussing on other things. I was distracted and the cost of that was the return of Voldemort.


	22. It's Not Your Fault

Remus was in a daze, it was Sirius who had alerted him to the events of the tournament and both men apparated to Dumbledore’s office to figure out what would happen next. Angelina was there, sitting in the same seat she had done almost exactly ten years previous when she was a fifteen-year-old child and being asked to save the world. She looked just as heartbroken, just as angry and just as fearful as she had done then. He could only imagine what she was going through, the tournament was a startling reminder that she had survived devastation at such a young age and to come back as an adult, having seen war and horror must have been a much newer form of pain she had never quite handled before.

Dumbledore informed the room of what Harry told him and the information they acquired from Barty Crouch Jr of all people. Angelina was struggling with her breathing and all Remus could really do was hold her hand and try to breathe with her. She was shaking and her hands were clammy, far more so than he had anticipated. 

James and Lily were in the hospital wing comforting their son who was struggling to cope with what happened in the graveyard, but Remus’s place was with Angelina. 

‘You’re still shaking.’ He said, kneeling beside her and speaking quietly while everyone else began coming up with a plan. The Order would reform and attempt to fight the coming war, that much was obvious, but what was not so obvious was how Angelina would make her stand. 

‘Yeah.’ She half smiled and let her tears flow freely down her cheeks. ‘I should have seen it,’ she sniffed. ‘But I didn’t, I couldn’t see that a bloody Death Eater was staring me straight in the face all this time.’

‘Angelina, none of this was your fault.’ Remus said, firmly, catching the attention of Dumbledore and Snape. ‘Not a single part of this was your fault, you couldn’t have stopped it, no one could have stopped it.’

‘You don’t understand,’ she said, so much more calmly than Remus was ready for. ‘I saw Mad-Eye, I could feel there was something strange about him and I didn’t do anything.’

‘What are you talking about?’

‘When he first got here, I just thought how weird it was that he didn’t say hi, but I was about to give a speech at the time,’ Angelina wiped away a few tears, Dumbledore and Snape were now fully interested in what she was saying. ‘I never saw him at the first task because I was too busy having a panic attack, the second task, I could see he was acting strange and I didn’t say anything… and tonight, when Harry and Cedric were lost in the maze, he looked pleased and I still didn’t say anything… why didn’t I just say something? Anything would have been enough, wouldn’t it?’

‘Angelina, you need to calm down,’ Remus needed to be a little firmer than usual, she was blaming herself for something that wasn’t her fault. ‘If this is anyone’s fault, it’s ours… we have put far too much pressure on you and Darren to be… impossible people. How could we expect a child to save us?’

‘But I should be able to, I can do it.’

‘No, you shouldn’t.’ Remus was losing his temper, but it wasn’t really his temper, it was the fear of impeding war that was beginning to seep in. ‘The world does not rest on your shoulders alone, it rests with us all and I am so sorry that we have made you feel this way… but please just believe me when I say that this is not your fault. Not at all.’

Angelina just watched him for a moment, she didn’t believe him, she still thought it was down to her to save the world. 

‘He’s right, Angie.’ Dumbledore said, quietly. ‘I fear we have relied on you too much to do the impossible and we had no right to.’

Remus could still see the fear in her eyes and not even her brother or Benji could make her see that this wasn’t up to her to fix alone. 

There was nothing more to be done that night, Dumbledore assured them that Voldemort would not make a move that night, Harry survived and he wasn’t supposed to, they had a head start on stopping the war before it started and that was enough.

Remus took Angelina home, Darren went to their parents to tell them what happened and that they shouldn’t worry for tonight. Remus ran Angelina a bath and carefully helped her out of her clothes, peeling them off her damp skin, she was still shaking and there didn’t seem to be any explanation for it. 

She bathed in the water for a while, her big, blue eyes were glassy as she hung over the edge, watching him like her life depended on it. Remus knelt beside her, he was proud of the bathroom he’d built for her, she liked the dark wood contrast with the white tub and sink, she loved her bathroom, it was just a shame she didn’t get many chances to use it the way he wanted her to.

‘Do you still have nightmares?’ She whispered. 

Remus frowned and ran his fingers slowly through her wet hair. ‘No.’ He whispered back, he prayed she believed him, for her sanity. ‘No, I have not had a single nightmare for two whole months… not about you anyway.’

Her blue eyes focussed on him for a moment, a silent question was being asked. 

‘Angelina, I want you to relax, I don’t want you to think about anything else tonight. I don’t want you to worry or be scared, or even feel anything that isn’t just how much I love you.’ Remus could feel his emotions getting the better of him as he continued to stroke through her hair. ‘Will you do that? Will you do it for me?’

‘For you.’ She whispered and the twitch of a smile appeared on her face. 

Remus pressed a soft kiss to her wet lips.

Eventually he was able to get her into bed and relaxed enough for her to get a little sleep, but she soon woke up every so often with a small start, keeping him awake for most of the night.

I couldn’t keep this up, it had only been a week and there was only so much lying I could do to Remus. He needed to know what had happened to Clara, Darren needed to know, everyone did, but I was so scared for what that might mean. The brother had been his usual brand of tired and mostly unhelpful, it was as if he was suffering some kind of delirium that was going unexplained. 

I sent a message, cancelling my session with Malik, knowing that I needed just a little more time to figure out what to do. I couldn’t keep this locked inside me forever, the truth always came out. 

The images of what Clara had suffered kept circling in my head, I knew that Remus noticed my shaking every so often, but he didn’t say much, he would just give me a sympathetic smile before making some tea. It only occurred to me at that point that he was trusting me blindly, I was giving him absolutely no reason to do as I asked and yet, he was happy to go along with it. 

‘He wasn’t always like that,’ Sirius said, he was visiting to deliver news. Remus was at the shop and I was just trying to focus myself enough to figure things out properly. ‘Remus was always the one who needed concrete reason to do anything uncertain, but he’s different with you. He seems a lot more willing to do whatever it is you might want or need without any questions at all. It makes one wonder.’

‘About what?’ 

‘About him.’ Sirius sat forward in his chair at the kitchen table and eyed me curiously. ‘A war is about to start and the last time that happened, we nearly lost everything through keeping secrets from each other, made us unsure of who to trust. Angie, my advice for you is just this: don’t repeat the mistakes of the past. Don’t keep important things to yourself, trust that whatever it is you think you can’t tell Remus, you can and he will understand.’

I gave an unconvinced half smile. ‘I don’t think you’d be so sure if you knew what I knew.’

‘Try me.’

I let out a breathy laugh and shook my head. 

‘Why not?’

‘Because… you might look at me in a different way… you might not trust me anymore.’

Sirius frowned. ‘What have you done?’

‘Nothing… not yet anyway.’ I clarified. ‘I’m not stupid, I know Remus will have told you about my family, but not even he knows what the brothers are doing to me and Darren.’ The tears were threatening to escape once again and I didn’t know if I could hold onto them for much longer.

‘Angie, whatever it is-‘

‘You won’t forgive him.’ I interrupted, knowing exactly what Sirius was about to say. I hadn’t quite meant to let his thoughts slip through into my mind, but they did and I needed to calm down and refocus myself. 

‘This is something that Darren has done?’

That was it, the floodgates opened and there was absolutely no stopping them. I cried so hard, I shook and when I moved it hurt every single cell in my body. I was losing control all over again. Sirius came and sat next to me, he placed his hand on my shoulder and tried to soothe me, but it wouldn’t work, I needed something much more than he could provide. 

‘Angie, look at me.’ I didn’t want to, but Sirius wouldn’t leave or drop it until I did. I couldn’t barely see him through my watery eyes. ‘If it wasn’t for you, I would still be in Azkaban. If it wasn’t for you, Remus would never have known happiness and if it wasn’t for you, Harry might not have taken the tournament so seriously and focussed on his own survival.’ I frowned, not realising that my small and pathetic words to Harry had meant quite so much to him. ‘You have saved so many people and you are owed more debts than anyone I’ve known. You may not want to say it out loud, but whatever you’re keeping to yourself is killing you to do so. I owe you a debt and if I can repay it by simply listening, then I have a responsibility to do that.’

I thought for a while, Sirius Black was a man who knew what was important, spending over a decade in that foul place does things to a person, either you go mad, or you come out stronger. Sirius Black came out stronger, maybe I should have trusted that.

‘It’s Clara,’ I croaked, still trying not to let myself break down again. ‘She’s dead.’

Sirius sucked in a harsh and mournful breath. He ran his hand over his face and tried to take in what I said. 

‘Are you sure?’

I almost laughed. ‘I’m certain.’

‘How?’

That was the question that had all those images rushing towards the front of my mind. I needed to focus and try to make him understand.

‘Thing is, these things inside us,’ I started, aware that I was running out of time, Remus would be home in an hour and I couldn’t let Sirius go without making sure he truly understood. ‘They are trying to get out… they’re trying to kill each other… and they’ll do just about anything to make us weak, to make us vulnerable. The only thing I’ve ever found that’s strong enough to combat that is love. Remus.’ I sniffed and tried to figure out how to say this. ‘The brothers know that if Darren and I don’t have love, then we’re weak and we’re vulnerable and so much more likely to give up. Without Clara, Darren is vulnerable and if he finds out the truth of what happened… it’ll break him.’

‘What happened?’ Sirius pushed.

‘She had nightmares,’ I took a breath and tried to be brave, the way Remus had taught me. ‘About Darren, ones where he… he wasn’t exactly human, more like what the brother really looks like… she thought Darren would…’ I couldn’t bear to say it out loud.

‘Darren would never hurt her.’ Sirius shook his head, trying to draw his own conclusion, but I just gave him a look. His fears were realised. ‘It was him.’

‘He gave the brother too much room,’ I tried to explain. ‘He just wanted help getting through Quidditch matches, but he didn’t know that the brother would take advantage of that and when he did, he only had one thing he wanted to do… Darren was trapped, he fought so hard to stop the brother, but it only delayed the-‘

‘Stop.’ Sirius suddenly said, unable to hear anymore. ‘I can’t believe that Darren is capable-‘

‘He isn’t, but the brother is. More than that, they would do anything to destroy everything Darren and I have… I didn’t want to believe it either, but I saw it with my own eyes.’ I could still see it, clear as day. ‘The problem is, the brother is hiding the memory from Darren, I don’t know why, but he’s torturing him with small images, just snippets of what really happened.’

Sirius stood up and wandered towards the back door, letting his head hang as leaned on the bottom half of the door. 

‘I don’t know what to do, Sirius.’ I could feel the emotion bubbling over again. ‘If I tell Darren the truth, he’ll give up and if I tell Remus, he might want to do something he’d regret.’

Sirius just sighed and took a deep breath. ‘Does Darren feel guilty?’

‘Yeah.’ I frowned, confused at the question.

‘Good.’ Sirius nodded. ‘I can’t tell you what to do here, I can only tell you to do what you think is right… I won’t tell Remus, but you can’t keep this hidden forever. If he wasn’t in control then it wasn’t Darren’s fault, but if he gave anything less than everything he had to resist, then there’s no hope for him.’ It was now my fears that were being realised. ‘I’m sorry, Angie… for everything.’

We stayed in silence for a while, only coming out of it upon hearing Remus approaching the house. I quickly wiped away any stray tears and tried to look somewhat normal, Sirius was doing the same thing and a mutual agreement was passed between us. I would tell Remus the truth when I thought the time was right.

‘So, you know what I was trying to do, so what?’ The brother paced the white room, he was drenched in sweat, clearly some kind of fever had taken him, but I was uncertain if that was even the case. I built up a solid set of metal bars to keep the orb contained and keep him inside, it seemed to do the trick, because very little outside noise could be heard. I wasn’t risking a single thing though, I’d managed to surround his orb with security measures, but that didn’t mean he was entirely secure inside. 

‘Well, it hardly matters now.’ I sighed and sat back in the chair at the far end of the room. I looked down to see my hands were slightly faded, I hadn’t stepped all the way inside the orb, only enough to communicate with the brother and no more, I wasn’t getting stuck any time soon. ‘You gave me Felix’s memory-‘

‘What?!’ The brother stopped pacing, but he was panting heavily and it seemed like the source of some pain for him. ‘How did you get a hold of that? You dare intrude on my memories!’

His response confirmed what I had suspected originally, he was losing control. I stepped out of the orb and decided that it would be the last time I went inside. I stood in the desert, looking around at several smaller structures that I had built for other purposes, but the white orb still floated in the sky, thick, black metal bars surrounding it. The orb shook furiously, but it wasn’t breaking them any time soon. 

When I opened my eyes, I could sense that I wasn’t alone. Remus was away doing some work to get the Order of the Phoenix back together, they were using Sirius’s old house at Grimmauld Place as Headquarters. Darren was at Quidditch training and so there were very few people that could be approaching my home, even fewer who could get through my protective defences.

I whipped out my pale wand and carefully moved downstairs to find out who was at my door.

‘Professor?’ I frowned, unsure of why Dumbledore was walking up the pathway towards my house. 

‘Angie, we need to talk.’ Dumbledore had a grave look about him. I stood to one side letting him inside my house, looking out at the mountain my home faced, if I’d been a little less on edge, I might have appreciated it more.

Dumbledore was pacing in the kitchen which was a little messy, but the open space made it look less so. 

‘Can I get you anything?’ I offered, realising it sounded weak and uncertain. 

The headmaster stopped pacing and his gaze snapped up to me. I felt tired and thin, I was still shaking, I must have look traumatised and fragile. The truth was, I felt it.

‘Voldemort has returned,’ he started and gestured for me to sit down, which I did more than willingly. ‘Harry’s life is in danger and I fear there is little we can do while the minister denies the evidence.’

‘Why is he denying it?’

‘Cornelius is woefully unprepared to lead a war and he knows it.’ Dumbledore looked at me as if he was staring through my very soul. ‘Fear makes us do terrible things and he fears nothing more than Voldemort returning to power. He thinks the longer her denies it, the more hope we have. That means its down to us to stop this war before it starts, at all costs.’

‘What do you need me to do?’ I was aware I half sighed and Dumbledore didn’t miss it, there was very little he missed. 

‘Angie, if there’s something you need to do, better do it now,’ he warned. ‘You might not get another chance.’

Suddenly all I could think of was the prophecy, one wolf will die. Was it talking about Clara? She was technically more wolf than any of us. Had the fate of my family already begun with Clara’s death? The last wolf will kill. Darren. The last wolf will end the bloodline. Was my family’s fate to be wiped out by the brother inside Darren? No Lockwood will be left standing.

It never felt more imperative to stop the brothers than it did in that moment. I needed to save my family.

‘I can’t fight your war.’ I whispered. ‘I’m sorry, but I cannot let anymore harm come to my family, I have to protect them.’

‘Something has happened to you, Angie Lockwood.’ I could feel something intrusive happening and before I could do anything, a pair of big black eyes appear in my vision, they were gone as quickly as they appeared, but I was so sure that it happened. Dumbledore took a step back, did he see them too? It was obvious to anyone that he was a skilled Legilimens, but intruding on my mind was a very dangerous thing to do, especially when I was holding on by a thread. ‘All will bathe in the fury of the wolves.’ He said it quietly, but I heard loud and clear. ‘The prophecy.’

‘Please don’t do that again.’ I had shut my eyes tight, trying so desperately to lock the image away, to remove the black eyes from existence, the brother couldn’t have broken through the bars I was keeping him contained to. 

‘You opened the prophecy?’

‘Dumbledore.’ I warned, I could hear the low growl in my own voice. He needed to leave before I lost control. ‘I will help you any way I can, but not at the cost of my own progress. I have to stop them, now more than ever.’

I watched the headmaster sigh heavily and look at me with nothing but sympathy. ‘I am so sorry Angie, I am so sorry that this burden has fallen to you… I hope you’ll remember, that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.’

I looked up into the pale eyes of the man who never turned away when I did ask for help and felt yet another lump forming in my throat. ‘Thank you.’ I breathed. It felt like a weight lifting momentarily from my shoulders, I felt like maybe if I poured my heart out to Dumbledore at that very second, he would tell me what to do, he would help me figure out what to make of everything and finally Darren and I could live in peace.

‘I will not call for your help unless I feel it is absolutely necessary Angie,’ he promised. ‘But please do not think you cannot ask for mine. I have made far too many mistakes where the Lockwoods are concerned and I don’t plan to make anymore. Is there anything I can do for you?’

I decided that if anyone could help me figure out what to do it was Dumbledore, I wouldn’t dare tell anyone else about Darren, but the prophecy was one thing he might have been able to help me with.

He left me with a list of books to search for in relation to the time period, Seers and prophecies in general, but urged me to seek Trelawney’s help should I get the chance. I wasn’t keen on letting her tell me exactly how I was going to die, but maybe he was right, maybe I should have sought expert advice.

I wasn’t about to let the brothers win so easily, I decided in the moments after Dumbledore left and before Remus arrived back home, if Darren and I were about to fight our last war, then it would be a war to end all wars. I would not be a puppet, trapped inside my own body and I wouldn’t let Darren suffer the same fate. I would fight to the death if need be.

Darren waited patiently for Angie to arrive at the house, she told him she would make it to their parents home after he’d finished training to tell him about the missing memory, he’d had patience and casually suggested to his parents that they had a little family reunion, just dinner to celebrate the season’s win and catch up before they all got thrown into the upcoming conflict. 

He knew they needed to stick together as a family, they couldn’t let anything come between them, they had to remain a solid unit at all costs.

Remus had shown up a little before Angie, but soon dinner was in full swing, even a few distant relatives had turned up, knowing that a Lockwood house was a safe one, no one was stupid enough to attack them, not after the first war anyway when they found out fighting one Lockwood was as good as fighting ten. 

Darren was careful to remain as patient as he could, but continued to flash questioning looks to Angie, who just smiled as if nothing in the world was wrong. Maybe she didn’t find the memory after all? Maybe Clara was alive? In hiding maybe? No, of course not, it was a ridiculously naive hope to have, he’d seen flashes of horror, bloodshed and darkness, he knew he did something terrible, but it was difficult to paint a concrete picture.

_Just stay calm Darren._

Angie, she was there. Darren could see her laughing with Remus who was tell her and their father a story. She seemed to be able to focus herself much more easily than before, he could see Remus holding her hand beneath the table. Had she not told him about Clara? She must have had her reasons.

_He doesn’t know, but I will tell him when the time is right. For now, all you need to know is that she didn’t suffer._

Darren felt himself deflate momentarily.

_But the images?_

_The brother was making have nightmares, all you’re seeing is what remains of those dreams, do you want to know any details?_

It was a strange question for her to ask, but the questioning glance she gave him confirmed that she had in fact asked.

_What did I do?_

Angie sighed and bowed her head, pretending to smile when Remus looked at her curiously.

_She was looking at the sea, you walked up behind her, asked her if she was okay… and then she was falling._

Darren felt his stomach turn, he quickly excused himself from the table and went outside to get some fresh air. He took a few deep breaths, he didn’t need Angie to fill in the rest of the gaps, he knew what she would have said, a moment of lost control and it led to the brother being able to push Clara off the edge of the cliff. 

He felt his whole being shake with grief, she really was gone. He’d ignored it for so long, pretended like she was simply away or working late, pretended that if he went to bed early then he simply wouldn’t hear her coming in, she always got up early anyway. Darren had pretended for so long like everything was fine, convinced himself that if Angie came home everything would go back to the way it was. But nothing was okay anymore.

_I was supposed to protect her. Why couldn’t I protect her?_

Angie stood at the door, Darren knew she heard him loud and clear, but she remained silent for a few moments. 

_As difficult as it is to believe, it’s not your fault. These things inside of us are old, so old it doesn’t bear thinking about, but they’ve spent all of their existence fighting and learning to hurt each other. This is just another thing they’ve learnt to do and it’s our responsibility to stop them in any way we can._

_How?_

‘Don’t let him in, Darren.’ Angie spoke out loud, startling him slightly. ‘Don’t you dare give him an inch. You cannot let him in for any reason, not even for Quidditch, you've won the league and the World Cup, you don’t need to. You don't need him anymore.’

‘It’s not that easy, Angie.’ Darren sighed. ‘I’ve given him too much room already and he knows it.’

‘Darren, you can do this. You. Can. Do. This.’ She said firmly. ‘Whatever direction our family is supposed to go in, whatever it is we’re _supposed_ to be… it’s crap, all of it is crap! We haven’t come this far, seen this much, just to roll over and let them play games with our lives! We haven’t sacrificed ourselves just to let them win! They say this is going to end in a war, then so be it, but it’ll be the last war they’ll ever fight. If I’m going to die, I’m taking him with me, because three thousand years is long enough, I won’t let them hurt anyone else. I’ll burn them to the ground if I have to… are you with me?’

Darren had rarely seen such fire coming from his sister's furious blue eyes, so few things could warrant it, maybe she’d had her own experience with the brother and Remus. If that was the case then Darren had a responsibility to stop anything happening to him, if Remus was at risk in the same way Clara was, then Darren would put a stop to it at all costs.

_Has Remus been having nightmares?_

_Not anymore. _

‘I’m with you.’ Darren nodded and approached his sister with a new bravery, if she’d found a way to subdue the brother then there was hope for both of them. ‘Until the end.’


	23. Volume 1

Angelina was distant, growing more so every day and with the oncoming war, Remus couldn’t risk her slipping away from him. Harry was being moved around to several different houses, spending time at the Weasley’s, Grimmauld Place and even with a squib known only as Mrs Figg. No one was quite sure of who she was, but Dumbledore trusted her, so who were they to question it.

Remus was being asked to go into the werewolf communities and see what the general feeling was as well as try to convince them to stick with Dumbledore. He was worried about his ability to blend in, so many of them knew that he wasn’t exactly feral, they’d even come to him in the shop when they needed help, so Remus was almost certain that his presence was pointless.

Angelina seemed to have a new determination about her, she spent most of her time either with Benji and David or locked away in her lab researching the brothers. She had yet to bring up the memory she had been searching for and Remus wondered if he should have asked. 

It was a rare thing for her to come home, say a brief hello and then rush up to her lab, but when she did, Remus felt somewhat deflated, as though he was being brushed to one side and finally he’d had enough.

‘Angelina, wait.’ He said and she stopped at the bottom of the stairs a little out of breath, waiting for him to say anything else. ‘I just… can we talk for a moment?’

‘About what?’

Remus let out an exhausted half laugh. ‘About us.’ Her whole face went white, her features dropped and he could tell she was terrified. ‘I just want to spend some time with you, talking, or just… anything…’

‘Okay.’ She nodded, only slightly comforted. ‘Okay, we can talk… just let me get changed and I’ll come right back down.’

‘Okay.’ Remus nodded and for a moment they watched each other. Why did everything suddenly feel so awkward between them? Angelina wandered up the stairs and he watched her go. He knew exactly why everything felt awkward, they were strangers to each other now.

It took a long few minutes for Angelina to finally reappear and Remus had made himself tidy up the kitchen in an effort to keep his mind from wandering to harsher places. He manually washed up a few plates and carefully dried them, placing them delicately into the assigned cupboards. He fondly remembered the days they’d decided where things would go, she had danced around the kitchen, listening to music he could scarcely remember and they laughed like they’d not laughed in years. It was barely six months ago and this was not the start to their life that Remus had envisioned for them.

She looked tired and a little on the thin side, Remus wasn’t sure how he’d missed that happening, he lay down next to her every single night and cradled her body next to his and yet, he couldn’t feel her wasting away. She wore his green cardigan as she often did as well as one of his old t-shirts and tight leggings, her hair was up in a loose bun and she was looking a little more like the woman he fell in love with.

‘I think you’re right,’ she said, her voice quaked a little and Remus instantly knew that it was a good call to get them to sit down and talk. ‘There are things that need to be said and things that we need to decide.’

Remus felt his heart thumping harder than ever. He pulled out her usual chair for her to sit and brought over the tea he had been making in the hopes that they could calmly talk about things. 

‘Angelina, I realise that with everything that is happening, things are getting harder for everyone,’ Remus ran a hand nervously through his hair. ‘But I just want to know that you aren’t losing sight of our goal.’ She frowned ever so slightly and it reminded him of when she was a student, misunderstanding the emotional side of any relationship. ‘Long and happy.’

Realisation hit her and something important happened behind her eyes, something she was realising. She swallowed nervously and he could see her losing control over herself. Remus ran his hand over hers and tried to encourage her to speak to him.

‘Something terrible has happened.’ Angelina said quietly. ‘It’s Clara… she’s gone.’

Remus’s whole being was slammed into reverse, he couldn’t understand what the word meant. Gone. Gone where? Was she coming back? Was she and Darren going away somewhere? What did “gone” mean?

‘I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you straight away, but I needed to find out what really happened before people started panicking and I couldn’t let the brother-‘

‘Where is she?’ Remus felt a flare of rage pass through him, something unlike anything he’d ever felt before. Angelina almost looked fearful.

‘Remus, I told you, she’s gone.’ She was trying to be kind, but Remus didn’t want her to be kind, he wanted her to be clear. ‘She isn’t coming back… I’m so sorry.’

Remus just watched her blue eyes searching him for a moment, he felt like she was intruding, like he was being violated in someway, why was she saying these things?

‘I don’t understand.’

Angelina took a breath and tried to figure out where to begin, but he was losing patience, his body was flaring with something he couldn’t place. 

‘Remus, you told me you haven’t had anymore nightmares,’ her perfectly blue gaze was piercing him. ‘I need to know if you were lying. I need to know if they’ve really stopped… I know you were just trying to make me feel better, but now I need to know the truth.’

Remus couldn’t work out what it had to do with Clara, where was his friend? Why wasn’t she here? Why was Angelina asking him about his nightmares? He hadn’t realised he stood up until Angelina stood with him, trying to calm him down.

‘Where is she?’ Remus raised his voice. Why did he do that? He never did that with her, not anymore.

‘Remus, you need to try and stay calm for me, please just try to breathe.’ She was begging him and Remus didn’t understand a single word that was coming from her perfectly, soft and rosy lips. ‘Clara is gone, the brother inside Darren was torturing her, making her fear him… he couldn’t have known that the brother would be able to take advantage… but he did.’ The rage and grief and confusion and fear were rolling into one. ‘Darren tried to stop him, but he couldn’t… Remus, it started with the nightmares and everything escalated from there, so I need to know… are you still having nightmares?’

Remus was panting, he was like some thirsty dog, his heart rate was through the roof, he couldn’t focus, he couldn’t see anything. He strode out of the house and into the fresh evening air, the forest was calling him the same way it did during a full moon, it was a sanctuary, protection from the outside world. 

Remus’s ears burst with the noise that was coming from his throat, none of his actions felt like his own, his screams tasted of blood and his body was rigid with pain. It was only Angelina’s arms around him that gave him any kind of comfort and warmth, but even that wasn’t quite enough.

‘It’s okay, I’m right here.’ She kept repeating and soon Remus was relying on her strength to hold him up. She cradled him in her arms while he cried whatever liquid was left in his body. All the years he’d spent without Clara were suddenly crashing back through his consciousness and it hurt worse than a fresh full moon. 

He wasn’t sure how long they stayed out in the cooling evening air, but he wasn’t keen on leaving it any time soon. He lay back against her chest and just allowed Angelina to stroke her fingers through his hair and place small, soft kisses wherever she could reach. 

‘They’re not that bad anymore.’ Remus breathed, he wasn’t sure if she could hear him. ‘The nightmares, they’re getting better… they don’t feel so real anymore.’ He closed his eyes and focussed on the way her fingertips ran down his chest beneath his shirt. She traced a few of his scars, placing a small amount of comfort over each one. It was soothing and something only Angelina was capable of doing to him.

‘I ask too much of you,’ she swallowed. ‘I know I do and I know by the time this is all over I will have asked you for more than I could ever deserve, but I’m not going to let anything happen to you, I’m not going to let him hurt you and I’m not dying in some war I never even wanted to fight in the first place.’

Remus wasn’t sure what was happening, all he knew was Angelina was showing a new determination that she hadn’t shown before and he had no idea if it was a good thing or not.

‘Remus, I love you with all my heart. Never forget that. Promise you’ll never forget.’

‘I promise.’ Remus wasn’t sure if he’d even made a noise, but she knew. Angelina always knew. 

They remained in the garden until it was too cold to stay out and Angelina took him to bed to rest for a while, he needed to sleep and he needed mourn quickly, the war wouldn’t let him take anymore time than the absolute minimum to mourn the death of his oldest friend.

Angelina stayed home for the next few days, she stayed with Remus, helped him bathe, helped him into the kitchen to eat, even making him some Silvermint Tea. It always tasted so good when she made it, far better than he had been able to achieve. Remus had practised every month since she first invented it, he had an old, tired copy of her book that he used for reference and it felt right when he held it, like he was holding the first real defining piece of her.

Ruben flew in one morning dropping a stack of letters and a parcel on the kitchen table. Angelina was taking a quick shower while Remus sat with his tea. Ruben was looking a little worse for wear these days and unable to make such long flights the way he used to, Angelina knew and was already looking at getting a new owl at some point to give Ruben the rest he needed. 

Remus lifted himself up and fetched the old owl some water and a little food for his long journey. He could see a curious package sitting on top of the letters, it looked heavy.

‘No wonder you’re tired.’ Remus mused, Ruben barely acknowledging he even spoke. 

He picked up the package and saw it was addressed to Angelina, of course it was, no one was sending him packages and if they were, they weren’t going to be friendly. He was a monster as far as most people were concerned.

‘My book.’ Angelina said, as she came down the stairs, quietly. She wore his green cardigan again over the top of her tight, white t-shirt and black leggings, she was so beautiful in the morning light. ‘The one about the puffapods.’ She briefly explained and gestured for him to just open it. 

Just like in Bulgaria, Remus carefully pried open the brown paper and saw two beautifully designed books, entitled Beneath The Surface: A Nocturnal World Volume 1. It was much thicker than the Wolfsbane book had been and as Remus thumbed through pages, he saw it was a much more comprehensive guide to the various uses of nocturnal Puffapods as well as a few other plants Angelina had discovered. 

While Remus looked through some of the pages, noting how like Angelina some of the sentences sounded, the woman in question had made him some more tea and breakfast, she’d taken Ruben to the small garden shed that she had renovated into some form of owlery several months previous and she had tidied up the kitchen a little. All before forgetting to make her own tea and breakfast and showing her mild annoyance at that.

‘I didn’t realise you finished it.’ Remus croaked, he was overwhelmed by her work and efforts in her research, much like he had been before. Angelina was a little startled by his response, she turned from the frying pan to look at him, before shrugging and carefully easing the bacon between two bits of bread. ‘Volume 1? Can we assume there will be a volume 2?’

She sniggered and smiled at him, turning to lean against the kitchen counter, holding her mug against her chest. 

‘Well, this one covers plants, but there are loads of nocturnal creatures that help them grow, take things from the plants and they all feed into each other, creating a cycle.’ Angelina explained in that way that made things perfectly clear and plain for him to see, he was briefly reminded of that time beside the Black Lake when she was talking to his first years, before all this really began. ‘Volume 2 will be the research I hopefully do on those.’

‘Hopefully?’

‘Well, I think with the war, no one will be much interested in a book about night-time creatures.’ There was a little sadness to her. ‘It was a struggle just to get Lysander to take this one. But he promised he’d always publish what I write, so he didn’t have much choice in the end.’ 

Remus nodded, feeling the stiffness in his neck. ‘I can see that this is very important to you. Congratulations, Angelina.’

She nodded and thought for a moment. ‘Thing is, this is who I am.’ She put her mug down. folding her arms across her chest to keep warm from the draft running through the stable door. ‘I’m Angelina Lockwood, leading expert in Lycanthropy, the woman who invented Lockwood’s Wolfsbane… Angelina Lockwood is that curious girl who went diving into the Black Lake and found some blue Puffapods, the one who went running up to her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher asking about the blue moon,’ Remus felt himself smile a little at the distant memory. ‘Angelina Lockwood is the one who was bitten by the baby lionfish and had to spend a week in the hospital wing. That’s who I am. And Merlin knows, I can’t lose sight of that, I need to keep hold of who I am at all costs.’

Remus thought for a moment, he knew what she was saying, there was a difference between her destiny and the brother’s, there was a difference between who she was and who he was trying to make her be.

‘Did she fall in love?’ Remus suddenly asked, not exactly wanting the answer if it was anything but yes.

‘She did.’ Angelina smiled. ‘Did you?’

Remus looked up and sighed. ‘Of course, I did.’

‘Then we need to keep a hold of that,’ she grabbed her plate and finally sat down next to him. ‘I don’t know what is going to happen next, but I do know that we need to talk about the important things, the things that matter to me.’ Remus braced himself for another serious talk. ‘We need to talk about building a bigger Owlery for Ruben and the next owl we get, because that shed is far too small and he gets lonely and irritated.’ Angelina bit into her bacon sandwich and watched Remus’s face turn into a broad smile, something that felt unnatural for him to do, given how long it had been.

‘You’re right,’ he nodded. ‘It is very important that we talk about that.’

And it was, it was so important that through all of the grief and pain, they kept a hold of the things that made them who they were. He found this house for them to build a life in, for them to live and grow old in, so that was what they needed to do, it was a priority.


	24. The Nature Of War

Remus handed over a few longer pieces of wood and watched Angelina carefully place them into the new owlery they were finally building. It was only a week into the war, but already they’d both been asked to do things that were somewhat dangerous. Alice, Alfred and even Casper had been asked to listen out for any movement in the werewolf camps, but Angelina had been spending an increasing amount of time at the shop as well. 

It was nice to see her from time to time, he was picking up a few more shifts here and there just to make ends meet from his point of view, having spent all of his savings on the house and on Angelina’s dream, he had very little left for himself or for the day to day needs of himself and Angelina. 

Remus was almost certain she didn’t know and a big part of him didn’t want to add to her growing burdens, but if this war was going to be fought in the shadows, then he may not have had a choice. He watched her work in the midday sun and wondered how much longer they could stay hidden in their home. Angelina had put up more security surrounding them than he even knew existed and yet Remus wondered how much longer it would stay secure before Voldemort found them.

‘You’re worried.’ She said, lifting the last shelf into place. ‘More so than usual… do you want to talk about it?’

‘No.’ Remus sighed, half laughing. ‘I’d rather make you some tea.’ Angelina just frowned slightly at him. ‘I don’t think you need to worry about it just yet.’ 

‘Okay.’ Angelina nodded and stood up looking at her work. The owlery was big enough to comfortably store around four owls, plenty of room for the aging Ruben and the new owl Angelina was already eying up in Diagon Alley. ‘What do you think?’ She asked, folding her arms across her chest as Remus stood up from the wooden fence surrounding the various plants that grew in their garden. 

He couldn’t quite resist wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing the top of her head. ‘I think if it’s the way you want it to be, then its perfect.’ Remus felt her half laughing at him.

‘How are you feeling today?’ Angelina suddenly asked.

‘A little tired, admittedly.’ Remus confessed, the full moon would be up in a couple of days and he was trying not to take as much Silvermint tea, knowing that Angelina didn’t have much time to make it for him and his own brew was always far too weak. 

‘Come on then,’ Angelina gently turned in his arms. ‘We’ll make each other some tea and rest for a while.’ Her bright blue eyes stared up at him and for a moment, he was lost. Blissfully lost in her gaze. Angelina smiled and leaned up to place a soft kiss against his lips and Remus found himself sinking into her embrace. 

Remus savoured the moment for as long as he could, knowing that with the oncoming war, these moments would be few and far between at best. He tightened his grip slightly on her strong body and sighed pulling away. His forehead rest against hers and for a while they just breathed together. 

‘I love you, Angelina.’ Remus whispered. ‘There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for a long and happy life with you.’ 

He meant it. Every moment he survived, he wanted nothing less than forever with Angelina and there was very little he wouldn’t do for her. Remus wasn’t stupid, he knew that the kind of love they had was powerful and seductive and verging on obsessive, but he also knew that it was real. Remus had never felt more human than when Angelina was with him and there was nothing quite like it.

They went inside and for the next two days, Remus rested. He was abnormally tired, he drank his tea and listened to Angelina working in her lab. It was so comforting to hear her simply existing in the same house as him, he didn’t want to leave for the full moon, he wanted to stay and curl up next to her and sleep through it.

Angelina just smiled at him and walked all the way into the forest, helping him gently ease his tired frame over branches and through the narrow pathways between bushes. Eventually they reached the shed he used to transform in, the sound of the whispering prophecy beneath the floorboards didn’t distract him so much anymore.

‘You’ve been decorating.’ Angelina pointed out as she looked around his cosy prison. He never referred to it as that in front of her, but that was basically what it was, a prison for the thing he turned into. 

‘Just a few things to make you feel better.’ Remus tried to smile as he lay down on the hard bed on the other side of the room. He knew it would make her happier to know that he had somewhere to rest immediately following sunrise and so had Sirius help him build a small bed when he was last at the house. 

‘Well, I’m glad you’re taking my concerns so seriously.’ Angelina laughed and pulled out a fresh batch of Lockwood’s Wolfsbane contained within an old wine bottle, it never failed to make him smile when he thought about one of the first times she had done that. 

Remus lay back on the bed, getting comfortable while she looked around the rest of the room, they still had a little over an hour before the moon came up, but he was already getting agitated. She briefly smiled at him, knowingly. 

‘Okay, I’ll go.’ She smiled and sat on the edge of the bed next to him. ‘Stay safe, try and get some sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow whenever you’re awake.’ Angelina gently ran her fingers through his hair and through his slightly scruffy beard. ‘Good night, Remus.’ She said quietly and placed a soft kiss to his mouth.

Remus closed his eyes and heard the sounds of Angelina leaving the shed, walking back to the house. Soon though, the air was filled with those familiar whispers coming from Tenzin's chest.

When Remus was finally able to feel his body again and head back to the house the next morning, he promised himself one thing, he would hold her and kiss her and go to Diagon Alley to pick up her new owl. But first, he needed a shower and to check the owlery was ready. 

However, that wasn’t what greeted him when he arrived back at the house. Dumbledore was waiting with Sirius and Benji in his living room and Remus felt his heart sinking faster than he’d felt it in a long time.

‘Where is she?’ Remus asked, dropping his jumper that he was too hot to wear and his shoes that he couldn’t put on properly. He didn’t even hear them reaching the floor.

‘She’s alive.’ Benji stepped forward, knowing that that was the most important piece of information that Remus would want. ‘She’s at St Mungo’s, she’s unconscious, but she’s healing well. Why don’t you get changed and we’ll go and see her?’

Remus eyed Benji for a moment, then turned his gaze to Dumbledore. ‘Where did you send her?’ He asked and the headmaster was hardly surprised. 

‘Remus, you need to get to the hospital to see her as soon as possible, she will tell you what she was doing when she wakes up.’ Dumbledore left the house and waited outside. 

‘Come on, mate,’ Sirius tried to smile. ‘Let’s get you changed and over there.’ 

Remus was frustrated, no one was giving him the answers he wanted, what had happened to Angelina? When she left him the night before, he was convinced she was simply going back to the house to study and do a little cleaning, that was what she was supposed to do. So why was she in the hospital? Who had come to the house to take her away? Where was she sent? And why wasn’t he there to protect her when she needed him to?

He quickly showered, enough to settle Sirius, before snatching up a clean shirt and trousers, rushing back down the stairs to apparate straight to the hospital. 

Everyone was surrounding her bed, the same way they always did when the situation was grave. Remus went straight to her bedside and looked down at her scratched and bruised face, whatever had happened, she had clearly come out of it worse than whoever she had been fighting.

‘She saved a lot of people, Remus.’ It was Tonks. Remus had always believed that Tonks disliked Angelina, because of what happened with Jack five years previous, and yet, here she was, at Angelina’s bedside, he imagined it was a very complicated relationship between them. ‘None of us would have escaped if it wasn’t for her.’

‘Everyone move!’ George commanded and sure enough the crowd dispersed, he handed Remus a goblet full of Silvermint tea without hesitation and worked around Remus, cleaning up her cuts and bruises and paying extra attention to her spine. ‘Broken. Again.’ He said, quietly. ‘This is the third time she has broken her spine and it’s the exact same place. Remus, I know it was a full moon last night, I know you aren’t to blame for any of this, but I am urging you now to make clear to my daughter the importance of protecting herself. The bone is beginning to weaken and if breaks it again, she will suffer immeasurable pain for the remainder of her life. There’s only so many time we can magically heal something before permanent problems begin to occur.’

‘Will she be okay?’ Remus could feel his emotions getting the better of him.

‘This time, yes. Next time… I’m not so sure.’ George said, his pale blue eyes were exhausted and still he continued to do his job to the best of his ability. 

It was another few hours before Tonks managed to get Remus alone and tell him what happened. It was a raid in Knockturn Alley, Angelina wasn’t even supposed to be there, but Casper had been down that way when the fighting broke out. He ran back to Lockwoods and Angelina, who had been making up a batch of Silvermint tea for whoever came to the shop in the morning, sprinted down just in time to save around twenty people from getting caught in an explosion coming out of one of the shops. Tonks wasn’t sure which one it was through all the chaos, but when she got herself to her feet, it was to see Angelina wailing in pain and clutching her back in the exact place it had been broken. 

‘I’ve never seen that happen to anyone before,’ Tonks was a little pale. ‘But she was alert enough to stop some of the debris falling onto people so we could get them out. She was unconscious after that… for a while, I thought the worst.’

Remus nodded, indicating he didn’t want to hear anymore. It sounded exactly like his Angelina, never giving up the fight even when she was injured and potentially dying. She fought until the very end.

He sat beside her bed for another four days before she showed any signs of waking up, but even then, it was only for a few minutes before falling back asleep. 

Remus was given permission to take her home to rest, the Healers couldn’t do anything that Remus wasn’t perfectly capable of doing from home. George helped get her to the house and into bed to rest properly, panting slightly with the energy he used.

‘South facing.’ He noted. ‘Angie always enjoyed a south facing bedroom, even when she was a baby, we had to move Darren into the other room just to stop her crying.’ He mused to himself, holding his daughter’s hand. ‘Darren never minded though, he just wanted his baby sister to be happy.’

George gave Remus a sympathetic smile as he left the quiet house, leaving Remus somewhat tired and bewildered. What did facing the south have to do with Angelina getting better? Probably nothing, but it was important enough to George to mention when he did.

Remus sat beside Angelina for the rest of the day, he held her hand, readjusted the pillows to make her more comfortable, he brought some water in case she woke up and he cried. Remus cried quietly and loudly and he sobbed until the sleeves of his shirt were soaked through. She was supposed to be there when he got back, he was supposed to lay in bed with her for a while and recover, they were supposed to have lunch together and talk about their next project. Angelina was supposed to be fine.


	25. No More Time To Waste

I could see the sky, tainted only by the white orb that floated high in the sky, trapped behind cold, steel bars. I was panicking slightly, I had no real idea of how I ended up there, but I knew I’d broken my spine once again. At least I was alive and at least Remus was okay, I could feel him beside my body, the warmth penetrated into my very soul and it was the only thing that kept me going anymore. 

I remembered the shouting coming from down the street, Casper came running into the shop and I wasn’t sure what possessed me to go running down into Diagon Alley to help wherever I could. Tonks was yelling about some people trapped in the shop opposite where a small explosion had taken place and I knew that I could get them out. It was only then that another explosion went off, a much bigger one and there was no escaping the fact that I had broken my spine with the sheer force of it. 

After that, everything was blurry, I had no idea what happened or when I lost consciousness. I could have ventured through the desert plain and found out, but I had other things I needed to focus on while my body repaired itself. 

Felix’s notes had been scratchy at best, he detailed the Seer’s appearance and there was something familiar about it, almost as if the Seer was a Tibetan monk, much like Tenzin. I wondered how much my family had to do with the monks, they had knowledge beyond anything I could fathom and I was beginning to realise that there may have been a very good reason for that. 

I looked up at the orb and watched the black bars vibrating harshly. The brother was furious, but I wouldn’t let him out for any reason. 

I’d built a small hut that sat in amongst my memories of Remus, there was no where safer. I walked in and saw the familiar brown armchair, an exact replica of the one in Remus’s office where I used to sit and have tea with him. I sat down and thought for a while, mostly about the prophecy, but a little on what had happened in the past couple of weeks. If I could just figure out who it was talking about then I could figure out how to stop it.

One wolf will die and One wolf will live was fairly obvious, one of myself and Darren would die, quite possibly at the hands of the other, but the prophecy didn’t exactly elude to that prospect in so many words, in fact it didn’t say anything at all about us killing each other, did it? One wolf will sacrifice and The last wolf will kill, maybe one of us would sacrifice ourselves for the other? 

The last wolf will end the bloodline, surely the last wolf was in reference to the same individual, so not only would they kill, they would be the end of the bloodline. It stood to reason that Darren would be the end, he wasn’t one to move from one girlfriend to another with such ease and with the weight of the burdens we were carrying, I knew my brother would vow to never have children, no matter what. He’d die before he passed this curse onto a child. 

No Lockwood would be left standing. Perhaps, Darren would kill me and then allow himself to die before the war was over? 

I sat back and took a deep breath, trying to reorganise myself and figure out the second two verses. It seemed obvious to me that the second verse was in reference to me and the third was in reference to Darren, he must have been the Last wolf and I the she-wolf. In all my research I’d discovered that Prophecies tended to have a much more literal meaning than you expected so maybe I was thinking about this too much. 

The curse of the brothers would end with the daughter. My birth was the warning sign that the Lockwoods would soon die out, I wasn’t so sure it was such a bad thing anymore. I had remote and limited access to some of the brother’s memories and seen the devastation my family’s existence had caused through history, perhaps we didn’t deserve long and happy lives. 

I tried not to think about that, I tried to focus on my promise to Remus, to give him a long life with me, one where we love each other and live as normal life as possible.

Angelina only woke up once her father had made a quick visit to administer her treatment a few days later. She was quiet at first, her ocean blue eyes simply opening and staring up at the dark wooden ceiling of their bedroom. Remus had been quietly organising the bookshelf at the far end of the bed when he heard her breathing change. 

He quickly sat beside her and smiled in relief, trying to figure out if she was in too much pain or if she needed anything.

‘Angelina.’ He breathed and gently stroked down her cheek. Her gaze found his and for a moment he was blissfully happy, this was the woman he loved, the warm, kind and brave woman he fell for all those years ago. ‘Do you need anything?’ 

Remus watched her for a moment, unsure of if she could hear him, she smiled gently and Remus felt his tears flowing freely from his eyes. He leaned down and kissed her softly, feeling her trying to kiss him back. 

‘I’m sorry.’ She could barely whisper, but Remus just found himself trying not to laugh too much.

‘You say that every time.’ Remus stroked through her thick, blonde hair. ‘I never get used to it, I never think you’ll get hurt and then… then you do and I think my world has ended.’ Remus hadn’t felt such a loss of control in such a long time. He kissed her again and could feel her waking up a little more. ‘Angelina, we’re fighting a war now, please, please try not to put yourself in danger like that again. I know that you feel a responsibility to do something, but please understand that I will not be able to continue with my life if you are not in it.’

Angelina watched him and frowned slightly. ‘Who else is there?’ She breathed. ‘Someone has to take responsibility. We have to… no one else will.’

Remus began crying a little harder, he knew that she believed every word she spoke, he knew she felt a real responsibility to make the world a better place, he just wished it didn’t come at such a high cost.

He eventually climbed into bed with her and they remained there, breathing quietly for the rest of the day and into the night. Angelina needed to rest and Remus couldn’t bring himself to leave her while she did. He cradled her the way she liked and gently administered the treatments George had left with him. She got better as the days went by, but Remus could feel she was getting agitated, she wanted to get back out there and help.

Tonks and Benji had made a visit after work and told her how her actions saved more people than died and that the ministry were very grateful. The real story about it being Death Eaters was being kept under wraps, Fudge didn’t believe a word of it, but Benji knew what he saw and no one could tell him otherwise. 

Angelina and Benji spoke for a while and Remus made Tonks some tea while they waited for Benji to reappear. 

‘Thank you.’ Tonks said, Remus setting two mugs down and eventually joining her at the kitchen table. ‘She looks like she’s doing better.’

‘She just needed to rest.’ Remus nodded and took a breath. ‘It’s all she ever really needs.’

Tonks sighed and stayed quiet for a moment, it was obvious there was something she wanted to say. ‘It must be really hard for you, being with her sounds like a lot of work.’ 

Remus frowned, unsure of why Tonks decided to say that exact thing. ‘It can be, but nothing worth having is as easy as it seems.’

‘Jack used to say the same thing.’ She half smiled. ‘I used to hate her, for the way she treated him, she just ignored him and yet he never gave up on her… and look what happened.’

‘Angelina never ignored Jack.’ Remus defended. ‘She just wasn’t the best at recognising the way others felt about her-‘

‘She recognised you.’ Tonks interrupted.

‘That was different.’ Remus shook his head. ‘Angelina only ever wanted to protect her friends and Jack’s death has only propelled that desire tenfold. She sacrifices herself because of the immensity of love she had for Jack and Benji and her brother and every single person she comes into contact with. It’s unconditional and it is unforgiving… I can’t claim to be someone who always gives her what she needs, truthfully, I don’t know why she entertains me at all some days, but she does. Jack was no different to Angelina, that’s the real reason that he died. Jack was self-sacrificing, he loved with every part of himself and that kind of person never lasts long unless they learn to tame that love… they would never have learnt that together.’

Tonks just watched him for a moment, he knew that she no longer hated Angelina, she probably didn’t understand her and she probably still disliked her to a certain extent and that was fine, Tonks had more right than most to. But Remus couldn’t let anyone think that Angelina was selfish or arrogant or living without knowledge of her actions concerning Jack. 

They sat quietly for a few more moments. Remus sipped his tea and thought on Jack and his final moments, he was so calm and Angelina was in so much pain, much like he was any time Angelina got hurt. Remus tired to steer his mind to happier times, but was failing miserably.

‘…I’ll speak to David,’ Benji could be heard speaking as he came out of the bedroom. Remus was sure he could hear Angelina moving around as well, he stood up knowing she wasn’t well enough to move around on her own just yet. ‘Hagrid is off somewhere talking to giants and David will need to get ready for the new school year, which by the way is presenting it’s own problems.’

‘Like what?’ Angelina panted, making it to the bottom of the stairs and stopping looking rather sheepish when spotting Remus.

‘Umbridge.’ Benji sighed. ‘There’s strong evidence to suggest that she’ll be taking over the Dark Arts post at Hogwarts.’

There was a collective intake of breath, they all knew it was bad news if she was getting so involved. Remus placed his hand over the top of hers, knowing it was a hard blow for the both of them.

‘Okay, well, it’s not ideal, but we’ll figure out a way around it.’ Angelina nodded and Remus remained quiet. 

‘Right, well, let me know if you need anything, if you can’t get a hold of me, Jocelyne will be around, just give us some warning if you can so we can get the kids to their grandparents.’ Benji’s eyes flickered to Remus. ‘I’ll be in touch, try not to put him through too much stress.’ It was an attempt at a joke on Remus’s behalf, which he appreciated, but couldn’t bring himself to quite laugh at it. ‘Anyway, Tonks, you ready?’

‘Yeah.’ She said quietly. 

Angelina sat down, gently massaging her back and Remus saw the two young Aurors out. He returned to the bottom of the stairs where she was leaning against the wall, wearing his cardigan and her grey pyjama trousers, she looked like she was finally calling this house her home and meaning it. 

‘You couldn’t just rest for one visit?’ Remus teased her, making her chuckle a little. He sat down on the step in front of her and sighed. ‘What was Benji talking about?’

‘What were you and Tonks talking about?’ Angelina countered. 

Remus looked up at her, leaning back against the wall and relaxing a little. ‘Her feelings about you are complicated enough, she doesn’t need us talking about her behind her back.’ Remus said, gently. 

‘I need to go back to the Alban Hills.’

Remus closed his eyes and let his head fall back against the wall behind him. He took a controlled breath and tried to think about how to approach this diplomatically. How could she be talking about leaving again? So soon after getting hurt and with the war being fought from the shadows, they needed all the help they could get.

‘You broke your spine, Angelina.’ Remus said, slowly opening his eyes. ‘Your father thinks if it happens again, you’ll have permanent problems.’

‘I know.’ Angelina nodded.

‘Then why are you still talking about leaving? And going back to that place cannot be a good thing for anyone.’ Remus implored. ‘If you get hurt again, can you guarantee that you’ll come back so I can take care of you?’

‘No, but I can’t guarantee that walking into Diagon Alley.’ Angelina’s big blue eyes were filling with water. ‘None of us can guarantee survival no matter where we are. I have to do this. I’m so sick of feeling like I’m trapped inside my own body, I’m so sick and tired of pretending like all of this is going to have a happy solution because we all know that it won’t. That prophecy isn’t just something someone said once, people are treating it like gospel, the brothers are treating it like gospel and that in itself is so dangerous. So, I know that there’s going to be a war and I’m not naive enough to think that people aren’t going to die, but I am at least clear headed enough to know that I can do my part. As long as I do everything I can, then whether we survive or not will be irrelevant, because I will know that there was not a single thing more I could have done… and that has to be enough, doesn’t it?’

Remus watched her stunned. How could this beautiful woman have grown to be so wise? How could she have grown from a talented young student, to the single most amazing creature this earth had ever seen? How could she still hold onto her bravery with such ferocity and never crack under the pressure she was under? How had he not asked her the simple question yet?

‘Marry me.’ Remus whispered. 

Angelina stopped, her gaze locked with his, she was searching him for something and he tried with everything he had to allow her to search through every part of his mind, his soul, his very being to find whatever made her say yes. 

‘What?’ She breathed, the tears had momentarily stopped, but her expression of shock and confusion never faltered. 

Remus smiled wider than he thought himself capable of. He quickly got up and found his jacket, taking out the box he’d been carrying around for years. Remus sat back down and looked at the box, opening it gently. 

‘It’s not extravagant,’ Remus shrugged. ‘It was my mother’s… I was going to ask just before the last World Cup, not last year, the one before. You’d only been in Tibet a couple of weeks and Darren was prone to his outbursts… he questioned how much I loved you and I showed him this.’ Remus looked down at the simple silver band with the small ruby that sat on top. ‘It’s not much, but for me… if you said yes… this is the promise, the one we keep making…’ Remus looked up into those glistening sapphires that were the eyes of the woman he loved. ‘Angelina, marry me, spend the rest of your long and happy life with me, in this house… let me try to be a good husband to you.’

She didn’t speak for a little too long. 

Remus knew that sitting at the bottom of the stairs, her with her broken back and him, exhausted from looking after her and worrying too much, wasn’t the most romantic setting, in fact he’d made a plan to take her back to Reykjavik and ask her there at some point when they both had time to spare. But now it was clear, there was no time to spare, not a single second could be wasted and suddenly Remus was filled with regrets over why he didn’t ask her the second she told him she loved him.

The moment she finally confessed her love for him was filled with more than happiness, he was in the middle of the hospital wing at Hogwarts, his students were watching him from the door and she was thin and frail, more so than she’d ever been before. He remembered his promise, that he would always wait for her, for as long as it took, only ever her.

‘Yes.’ She whispered and Remus felt his heart skipping beats. He sat up a little straighter and felt his whole being ignite with joy. 

Remus ran a shaky hand through his hair and took the ring carefully out of the box. Angelina was never particularly good at the social side of life, but Remus at least knew that the ring went on the left hand. He gently lifted her soft hand and slid the ring down her finger, it was perfect. 

He lifted his head to see her tears had begun pouring down her face again, but this time it was from how happy she was. 

Remus leaned up a little more to kiss her salty lips, feeling the cool metal of the ring sliding up his jaw and disappearing into his hair as his own hands delved deep into her thick locks. 

She was so beautiful. Everything about this woman was what he craved, what he needed and more than he ever deserved and soon she would be his wife. 

No matter what was about to happen, no matter what war or hardship was coming their way, none of it mattered, not a single thing mattered in that moment, all that Remus could care about was that Angelina Lockwood was now his fiancée.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end of Part 5, I hope you've all enjoyed it and I look forward to catching up with you in Part 6!! 
> 
> It wasn't as romantic as I think some of you were hoping for, but I think it was pretty reflective of their relationship. As always, I look forward to see what you guys think and all your theories on how it will all end, keep them coming!
> 
> Love  
Jadders92


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